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People who just don't "get it".

Mastiff

Gunfighter
Messages
7,181
Points
30
[RANT]

Yeah, it's been a busy week so far... but I have been beset by one fellow who simply doesn't "get it". You know... the one who needs to have it written on a nail and pounded into his skull to get "it" into his head.

The set-up: It's a county auction, and a parcel here in our UGB, about 2/3 of an acre, goes up for sale for $7,000. That's cheap. No one bids. Into the mind of Mr. Don't Get It... *bing* I can get land cheap!

First encounter: I answer the phone, it's our friend, and he has questions. It doesn't matter that it's in the county, it doesn't matter that, get this, the MOST LEVEL SITE is a 20% slope, he wants to put a mobile home on it. I tell him that before he gets the wheels off, it'll be 400 yards down the hill onto the railroad tracks.

Second encounter: I answer the phone again. Our guy has now seen the land... have I seen the view? Sure I have, I know the parcel, it's a beautiful view. Why? Because it's 200 feet above every house in town! And why did you have trouble driving up to the land? Well... the drive is at a 35% grade! I still don't know any of the county building regs, nor where he could put septic. Can I annex? Sure... it's a couple grand, though.

Just now: I actually took a mylar topo map and overlayed it on the assessor map. Then made him a copy. What are all those lines? They're contours... it shows how steep the slope is... What? What does it mean when the property is all black like that? Well, it means it's so steep you can't get the lines far enough apart... Oh. So I can't... No. And I can't... No. And if... ASK THE COUNTY!

The guy was nice enough, but I finally just said, "Look, if it's cheap you want, this isn't the parcel for you. Putting a house there that won't fall off the hill will be very... VERY expensive. He just took off to go look at it again... he just doesn't "get it". And frankly, I don't have all day to try and give it to him.

[/RANT]
 

kms

Cyburbian
Messages
5,882
Points
31
These are the people who ask repeatedly for something, as if you are hiding the answer they want, but you will give them what they want eventually. They just go through life acting like this; they can't or won't think for themselves. So frustrating for you. Do you almost want to let him put the mobile home there, so he can see for himself that it can't work? Oh yeah, he'd sue you.

I hope tomorrow is better.
 

donk

Cyburbian
Messages
6,970
Points
30
Must be the time of year for tax sales. I have had about 20 calls similar to yours on POS parcels of land and people wanting to do silly things on them.

For us it is always the same people, they think they can make a quick buck, but if the land was so good the owner probably would not have let it go for tax sale.
 

Jeff

Cyburbian
Messages
4,161
Points
27
If you are ever bored check out the Germantown USGS quad in PA. Look for the Manayunk section of Philly (where I live). The whole neighborhood is built on slopes on 20% (greater in some spots).

Just proof that we built things better in the old days. We never have problems with stormwater, roads, houses falling over, etc. Makes for great bike racing in the summer, and really fun driving in the snow :)
 

Chet

Cyburbian Emeritus
Messages
10,624
Points
34
Hee! Land on a vertical plane. Maybe we can sell that on eBay.
 

nerudite

Cyburbian
Messages
6,544
Points
30
But have you ever had the questions for the properties that won't perc for septic, where they *can't* have a house under any circumstances... and people will still come in and say, "well... what if I just have a small toilet?" No lie, someone really did ask me that once... the things some people will come up with for a bargain...

But then, I guess I do the same thing at a shoe sale too... maybe I really would wear chartreuse stilletos... I mean, they *are* Kenneth Coles for only $30. Hehehe.
 

Habanero

Cyburbian
Messages
3,241
Points
27
ah, tell him to build at the very bottom of his hill, then see the water poor in his front door during a storm. :)
 

BKM

Cyburbian
Messages
6,464
Points
29
We have a policy that no development occurs above the 200 foot contour. The general idea is to preserve the open hillsides around town.

If we were still building "hill towns" (like Mike DV''s neighborhood-or Berkeley), I would disagree with this. But since we are talking about public works 36-foot-wide streets, cul-de-sacs, and ugly house designs, I agree that we need to hold the line. :)
 

Jeff

Cyburbian
Messages
4,161
Points
27
nerudite said:
But have you ever had the questions for the properties that won't perc for septic, where they *can't* have a house under any circumstances... .
Tell them to get in contact with me, I know some people who will get it to perk ;)
 

Mastiff

Gunfighter
Messages
7,181
Points
30
Mike DeVuono said:
If you are ever bored check out the Germantown USGS quad in PA. Look for the Manayunk section of Philly (where I live). The whole neighborhood is built on slopes on 20% (greater in some spots).
Oh, I KNOW it can be done... In fact, if I had a couple grand, it would be a nice parcel to have! The view is exceptional... a full look at Diamond Peak, the big mountain up here. But to consider a mobile home?

Mike DeVuono said:
Just proof that we built things better in the old days. We never have problems with stormwater, roads, houses falling over, etc. Makes for great bike racing in the summer, and really fun driving in the snow :)
We built things better when it was about building things right, and not just trying to make a pot of money. I told the guy if he wanted to build, I'd suggest he drive pilings instead of trying to make a massive cut and fill. He wanted to know how much it cost... While I didn't know, I knew he couldn't afford it.

We do have some nice homes built up on the slopes... and they are very expensive. When it snows, those people don't see clients or patients that day... and cancel their tee time.
 

Jeff

Cyburbian
Messages
4,161
Points
27
The houses in our neighborhood aren't on stilts...most are rows.

The neat thing is the front steps: The right side is below the grade of the sidewalk and the left side is about 18" higher :)
 

Mastiff

Gunfighter
Messages
7,181
Points
30
Mike DeVuono said:
The houses in our neighborhood aren't on stilts...most are rows.

The neat thing is the front steps: The right side is below the grade of the sidewalk and the left side is about 18" higher :)
I know. I lived in Philly for 10 years...

But making that hillside into a row of homes would still take some serious work, as it did back when they built the old neighborhoods in Philly.
 
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