Budgie said:
MZ, I like your observation.
thanks. I must not have screwed it up too bad. I think all that "oh, my god, it is a WOMAN" stuff is a source of a lot of pain. I think when people sort of are in that mind set of wondering in the 30 seconds before they say "hi" if this will lead to sex, marriage, etc --- god, who can even get their mouth open to say "hi"? lol. I think women are prone to the same thing, though.
Actually, I think that is probably part of Dan's problem with online dating: his "nice" letters must just scream "trying too hard". It makes me think of all those years I tried so damn hard to be "nice" to people and on good behavior... and then "open up" AFTER they hung around long enough to "get to know me" and convinced me they must LIKE me. Only they really had NOT gotten to know me and they didn't actually like ME. They liked that total sham: Ms. Goody-two-shoes. sigh. When she disappeared, so did the so-called 'new-found friend'.
I lost the vast majority of my so-called "friends" while deathly ill and bedridden and discovering that all these relationships were "one way streets" and they had nothing to give to me after counting on me for years. One friend called and was going on and on about how her husband lost his job, their money woes, etc. I interrupted her and went "I don't have the energy for this. I am fighting for my life." I NEVER heard from her again. (And good riddance!) I then gained a lot of actual friends while going through terrible drug withdrawal in the aftermath of all that nearly dying. I now do my level best to be on "bad" behavior when I meet someone and see if my more outrageous side will drive them away. If they are going to ditch me, I want them to do so before I get emotionally attached, thanks. Life is pretty darn good these days! :-D :-D :-D