• Cyburbia is a friendly big tent, where we share our experiences and thoughts about urban planning practice, planning adjacent topics, and whatever else comes to mind. No ads, no spam, no echo chambers. Create your FREE Cyburbia ID, and join us today! You can also register through your Reddit, Facebook, Google, Twitter, or Microsoft account.

Planners tool kit

Tom R

Cyburbian
Messages
2,274
Points
25
I want to come up with handy items that planners really need in their daily work. I'll start.

1. A coal miner's head lamp and hard hat (For when the Planning Commission caves in on something)

2. A gross of crying towels. (For developers or whomever who don't like the staff report)

3. A case of KY jelly. (For obvious reasons)

4. Mobile defibrilators (For staff, useful when the Commission agrees with the staff or says something intelligent).
 

Dan

Dear Leader
Staff member
Moderator
Messages
17,841
Points
59
5. A Giant Clue Stick (tm). If you don't know why you need it, the Giant Clue Stick (tm) should be tested on you.

6. A framed photograph of Lenin, Stalin, or Marx, to reinforce others' beliefs that you're a communist.

7. The Green Book.
 

el Guapo

Capitalist
Messages
5,984
Points
29
8. A big box of righteous indignation for that first year of our career.

9. A box of chips for our shoulders when we figure out no one listens to us.

10. A can of who-gives-a-shit for late in our careers when we look back on our legacy.
 

Repo Man

Cyburbian
Messages
2,550
Points
25
13. Don't forget the "real" plans that we keep from the public

14. Beer, lots and lots of beer.

15. A piggybank, for all of the bribes we are getting to recommend approvals
 

NHPlanner

Forums Administrator & Gallery Moderator
Staff member
Moderator
Messages
9,889
Points
38
18. A high speed internet connection....posting right now from my mother-in-law's 28.8 is sooooooo slow. :p
 

LouisvilleSlugger

Cyburbian
Messages
216
Points
9
6. A framed photograph of Lenin, Stalin, or Marx, to reinforce others' beliefs that you're a communist.

haha. that comes handy down here in Kentucky where people are always accusing planners of expousing socialist or communist values..grin.]
 

Zoning Goddess

Cyburbian
Messages
13,853
Points
39
Earplugs, for when the next-door neighbors bring out their kids to argue against the rezone/variance/plan amendment

A straitjacket to confine your co-workers when the public hearing goes bad and they pull out the razor blades

Caffeine for all the late-night hearings
 

SGB

Cyburbian
Messages
3,387
Points
25
22. A can of Whoop-Ass. Just in case we finally snap on someone who really needs it.

23. An earpiece (a la newscasters), so we can always listen to those who are really calling the shots on applications and policies.
 

Chet

Cyburbian Emeritus
Messages
10,624
Points
34
#. "Get out of Public Hearing night free" card

#. Shackle attached from ankle to chair.

#. Skittlebrau for the 5PM stress relief.
 

H

Cyburbian
Messages
2,850
Points
24
Emergency duct-tape for our mouth so we don’t accidentally cuss out an idiot politician who won’t listen to reason in front of everyone at the public hearing.


Side note: and No, I have never actually done this, but have wanted to many-o-time.
 

Tom R

Cyburbian
Messages
2,274
Points
25
tools

# The phone number of a bail bondsman.
# A spray bottle of hide toughner.
# AA membership.
 

plannerkat

Cyburbian
Messages
204
Points
9
A magic button on the phone that automatically slaps some sense into the person on the other end. I would have used this last week on the lady who thought that we kept copies of all of the land surveys in the city.
 

PlannerGirl

Cyburbian Plus
Messages
6,377
Points
29
a "your number is_" for folks who whine about the wooded lot they dont want to see developed. then BUY it!!!

False teeth from griding your teeth to keep from telling some dork off
 

ecofem

Cyburbian
Messages
206
Points
9
plannerkat said:
A magic button on the phone that automatically slaps some sense into the person on the other end. I would have used this last week on the lady who thought that we kept copies of all of the land surveys in the city.
Wow. I have a suspicion I might know who that lady is..... no not me.... but somebody who called me as well.
 

donk

Cyburbian
Messages
6,970
Points
30
Earplugs, for when the next-door neighbors bring out their kids to argue against the rezone/variance/plan amendment
As a supplement to the above, a pitch key or tuning fork so that when they sing "let it be" it will at least be in key.

False teeth from griding your teeth to keep from telling some dork off
Fortunately my health plan covered my "bite plate" for sleeping as I was grinding my teeth. I guess that is why civil servants have such good benefit packages.
 

Chet

Cyburbian Emeritus
Messages
10,624
Points
34
Seeds.

Yes, seeds. We plant lots of them. Many things I thought of in my first job 13 years ago, and put to print, are finally happening in that town. Time + staff turnover +sometimes = buy in.

Im passing through there next weekend. In a lame duck / WTF way, Im actually looking forawrd to it.
 
Top