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WTF 👽 Preparing for a Zombie Apocalypse [split from 'Do you have your bunker']

biscuit

Cyburbian
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3,899
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25
When I go downstairs to get the laundry I often think about just how ill-prepared I am for the zombie apocalypse. Sure, the steel frame basement door to the outside is probably secure, but the plaster wall and wood door at the top of the steps is a likely weak spot. Plus, a case of beer and a few cans of chick-peas are probably not enough rations for a proper bunker. I'll quickly be forced to eat Christmas decorations and dryer sheets should I survive the initial onslaught.
 

wahday

Cyburbian
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3,959
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23
Very few houses in Albuquerque have basements, including mine. I figure when the zombies come I will:

a) hide in the crawl space, b) go out in a blaze of glory, then become a zombie myself and come for your brains or c) make it the 2 hours to our recently acquired land - 20 acres, lots of wildlife and a few small buildings.

I recently read a mediocre book called Off the Grid where the author traveled the country talking to a cross-section of off-gridders to try and get a sense of what motivates them. Some (certainly not all) were folks anticipating the End of the World in some fashion or another and I found these interviews especially interesting. There is a whole sub-culture of such people, complete with their own lingo. "Bugout" locations, "WTSHTF," and other even more baffling terms pepper the forums for this survivalist contingency. I have visited some of these and half the time I can't even figure out what people are saying.

But I find it interesting just how many people are anticipating the collapse of society these days and their projections of how exactly it will go down. Mostly there is a lot of disdain for the masses who are perceived as being asleep to the impending catastrophe and lacking in basic survival skills. Me, I just like to spend time out in the wilds and survival skills are important in that setting, but I am not anticipating the end of days or anything like that. I expect the decay of American society will be a slower, creeping process that happens over decades and not over the course of a week. And sometimes I wonder if it hasn't already begun...
 

Cardinal

Cyburbian
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I think the basic problem with survivalism is that people do not consider that there are other people who will survive. I may have a stockpile of food, but what happens when 20 people with guns show up?

Besides this, how can you plan for the end of the world when you do not know how it will happen? Perhaps it is the supervolcano, or maybe it is nuculer war, or maybe a biological plague, or maybe a meteorite crashes into the earth. Will you even be able to get to your compound? And if you do, will it survive? Then what? It reminds me of Edgar Allen Poe's "Mask of Red Death". Chances are, there is already a zombie inside the bunker.
 

TerraSapient

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When I go downstairs to get the laundry I often think about just how ill-prepared I am for the zombie apocalypse. Sure, the steel frame basement door to the outside is probably secure, but the plaster wall and wood door at the top of the steps is a likely weak spot. Plus, a case of beer and a few cans of chick-peas are probably not enough rations for a proper bunker. I'll quickly be forced to eat Christmas decorations and dryer sheets should I survive the initial onslaught.

Hahahaha! I LOVE playing this game too. I often note that my current apartment is a zombie apocalypse death trap. The only room in the place that could withstand a zombie invasion is the bathroom, but if they managed to get in, I would be trapped. I'm happy to say that the new apartment that I'm trying to get into would provide much better shelter, and even has a mango tree near enough to my lanai that when in bloom I could forage for fruit from the safety of my lanai.
 

Tranplanner

maudit anglais
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There is a little uninhabited island in the river near us that I plan on making that my base of operations when the Zombie apocalypse hits. Zombies can't swim, right?
 

Cardinal

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There is a little uninhabited island in the river near us that I plan on making that my base of operations when the Zombie apocalypse hits. Zombies can't swim, right?

Interesting question. It does not appear that zombies are capable of thought. They seem to act only on instinct, thus, we never see them climbing, digging, turning a doorknob, or even running. All they seem to do is walk slowly. So it stands to reason that they cannot swim, either. But I have to believe there are options besides islands. Even those are not entirely safe. What if the lake freezes? If the island is in the ocean is it large enough to provide fresh water as well as a food source, and are you in danger of being swept away in a hurricane? And since we assume that zombies do not need oxygen, could they walk across the ocean floor?

Back on land, I think the advantage we "normals" have is that the zombies only walk slowly. In the western plains there is a very low zombie population, and in many places you would be able to spy them from miles away. If it were just a handful, they could easily be picked off at a distance of a quarter mile or more. For larger numbers, simply hop into your car and drive off to where there are no zombies.
 

Hink

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There is a little uninhabited island in the river near us that I plan on making that my base of operations when the Zombie apocalypse hits. Zombies can't swim, right?

Zombies don't swim. They don't breathe either. I wouldn't feel comfortable on your island without a bunker.... :)
 

Maister

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Yes, but how well will they be able to cope with the Zombie apocalypse?

Here's where the whole conscientious objector thing is gonna get 'em. You and I would be blazing away at the zombies with shotguns and chainsaws. But what are the Amish going to do - persuade them to stop their rampage in exchange for some apple butter?
 

Maister

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When the zombie apocalypse comes, I will probably be the Guy in Scene Two Sitting at the Campfire That Doesn't See Zombies Approaching From Behind And Says "What Are You All Pointing at?" As Everyone Else Flees in Terror.
 

Hink

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Yes, but how well will they be able to cope with the Zombie apocalypse?

Zombies love cheese. This is well documented. I think the Amish will probably build the strongest, most well made bunker and feed the Zombies cheese until they go away... I think the Amish will do well.
 

Rygor

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Zombies love cheese. This is well documented. I think the Amish will probably build the strongest, most well made bunker and feed the Zombies cheese until they go away... I think the Amish will do well.
I, too, feel the Amish will do well. They are a hardy, resourceful people. It's the elderly, the very young, and the out-of-shape (especially the morbidly obese) who will have the most difficulty during the zombie apocalypse. This is my main motivation in the gym and why I plan to off myself once I get too old so that I won't be easy prey for the zombies when they come. No way I'm going to succumb to stinkin' zombies.
 

Planit

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I'll start reading a detailed TIA for a proposed shopping center with restaurants, specialty shops and anchor tenants until they retreat from boredom.
 

ofos

Vintage Cyburbian
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Zombies love cheese. This is well documented. I think the Amish will probably build the strongest, most well made bunker and feed the Zombies cheese until they go away... I think the Amish will do well.

Will the Amish cut the cheese for the Zombies? If you pull a Zombies finger, will he/she cut the cheese?
 

otterpop

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Having seen Shaun of the Dead, Zombieland, the original Night of the Living Dead, 24 Days Later and 24 Weeks Later, I think I have the necessary research done for the Zombie Apocalypse. We have a decent stockpile of food that would last us a few weeks. The shortcoming is firepower - I have a few pistols that could take down a zombie but no large-capacity magazine shotguns or high-powered rifles. We only have one bat for crushing zombie brains. Guess we could also use a big, heavy horsepower truck for running zombies down.

It is funny this thread should come up today because just last night my son and I were discussing whether a .22 was enough for taking out zombies. I contended that, sure, a head shot might do it, but you were better off with a really kicka$$ shotgun - need that knock-down power for the living dead.

Ah the things my son and I discuss on the way to karate class.
 

Hink

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Having seen Shaun of the Dead, Zombieland, the original Night of the Living Dead, 24 Days Later and 24 Weeks Later, I think I have the necessary research done for the Zombie Apocalypse. We have a decent stockpile of food that would last us a few weeks. The shortcoming is firepower - I have a few pistols that could take down a zombie but no large-capacity magazine shotguns or high-powered rifles. We only have one bat for crushing zombie brains. Guess we could also use a big, heavy horsepower truck for running zombies down.

It is funny this thread should come up today because just last night my son and I were discussing whether a .22 was enough for taking out zombies. I contended that, sure, a head shot might do it, but you were better off with a really kicka$$ shotgun - need that knock-down power for the living dead.

Ah the things my son and I discuss on the way to karate class.

I would imagine that the Karate class is for the forthcoming Zombie Apocalypse? Good thinking. :)
 

HomerJ

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Honestly, your best weapon is a crossbow. No noise (zombies have a history of being attracted to sound), and much less worry about running out of ammo.

Also. Mobility and stealth are your two most important skills. No matter how much food you stockpile, eventually you will need to move to get more. My strategy would be to find a 2 story house (a victorian would do nicely). Barricade any possible entrance to the first floor and live on the second floor with a handy ladder or some rope when I needed to leave for more supplies. And keep that crossbow near at all times!
 

SGB

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There's an app for that

I highly recommend the Zombie, Run! game for android phones as a training tool. The fact that the game accurately depicts the ability of zombies to walk right through building walls provides the realism necessary for proper training in the needed evasion techniques.

Unfortunately, the game does not provide any training in the care and use of weaponry. It's strictly for evasion techniques.

I, too, feel the Amish will do well. They are a hardy, resourceful people. It's the elderly, the very young, and the out-of-shape (especially the morbidly obese) who will have the most difficulty during the zombie apocalypse. This is my main motivation in the gym ......
 

otterpop

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Honestly, your best weapon is a crossbow. No noise (zombies have a history of being attracted to sound), and much less worry about running out of ammo.

Also. Mobility and stealth are your two most important skills. No matter how much food you stockpile, eventually you will need to move to get more. My strategy would be to find a 2 story house (a victorian would do nicely). Barricade any possible entrance to the first floor and live on the second floor with a handy ladder or some rope when I needed to leave for more supplies. And keep that crossbow near at all times!

Ah, but you forget that the zombies attack en masse. A crossbow is too slow to load when the zombie horde swarms and it is easier to carry hundreds of cartridges as opposed to hundreds of arrows. Also easier to effectively fire a shotgun or pistol on the run.

A good combat shotgun and a semi-automatic handgun. A bat for close quarters. And of course never forget

DOUBLE TAP!
 

imaplanner

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ahmmmmmmmmmmmm!Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmbbbbbrraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaainnnnnss

mmmmmmmmm
 

ofos

Vintage Cyburbian
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ahmmmmmmmmmmmm!Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmbbbbbrraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaainnnnnss

mmmmmmmmm

It appears that the Zombie onslaught has commenced. Good thing it was here and not in the Neverending Political thread or we might not have noticed.
 

wahday

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Here's where the whole conscientious objector thing is gonna get 'em. You and I would be blazing away at the zombies with shotguns and chainsaws. But what are the Amish going to do - persuade them to stop their rampage in exchange for some apple butter?

Since they move so slowly, perhaps the Amish could build a barn around them to corral them. They build awfully fast...

FTR, as a lapsed Quaker and sometimes-pacifist, most CO concerns center around a concern for not harming living things. But, since zombies are already dead, its open season!

As for the swimming question, I would say they can't. But what's going to happen to them? They'll die? I don't think so. They'll probably get swept downstream until the get caught on a tree or something and then start the incessant search for brains once again.
 

ofos

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Can Zombies vote if they don't live in Chicago? I guess if they're looking for brains, Congress doesn't have much to worry about.
 

Gedunker

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Killing zombies requires 100% decapitation of the cranium, and as I have thought carefully about whether I care to get close enough to do this with a machete or similar weapon and concluded, with absolute certainty, that I do not care to get in the face of any zombie or zombies, I long ago selected The Pig for the security and safety for each of my family members for coming the Zombie Apocalypse. My daughter, in particular, has become quite proficient in head shots while practicing at Knob Creek Machine Gun shoots.

;-) We need a Zombie smilie!!:-D
 

HomerJ

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That's it. This is my favorite thread this website has ever created. Dan, how do I change my name to ZombiePlanner?
 

Maister

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Since they move so slowly, perhaps the Amish could build a barn around them to corral them. They build awfully fast...

FTR, as a lapsed Quaker and sometimes-pacifist, most CO concerns center around a concern for not harming living things. But, since zombies are already dead, its open season!

Good point. In fact, the Pennsylvania Dutch could prove to be the most awsome undead warriors around. Think of all that repressed aggression that's built up over a lifetime of turning the other cheek. I bet most Amish secretly hope for the Zombie Apocalypse in their lifetimes just so they can enjoy that special visceral thrill that comes when cranking out lead with a belt-fed weapon.
 

Tom R

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Ah, but you forget that the zombies attack en masse. A crossbow is too slow to load when the zombie horde swarms and it is easier to carry hundreds of cartridges as opposed to hundreds of arrows. Also easier to effectively fire a shotgun or pistol on the run.

A good combat shotgun and a semi-automatic handgun. A bat for close quarters. And of course never forget

DOUBLE TAP!
I recommend a Kalashnikov. Great fire power. More distance than s shotgun.
 

otterpop

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Fortunately for all of us, some forward thinking people are preparing for the inevitable

Zombie Defense Initiative (ZDI)

Just what is the ZDI? We're a group of like minded individuals who realise the dangers presented by reanimated corpses. We enjoy classic and modern zombie movies and literature, and we have lengthly conversations that start with two questions: What if, and What Would I do?

Fact: 99.9997% of all college students are unprepared for a large scale zombie disaster
Fact: No federal funding is allocated towards a specialized zombie defense program

Fact: Preparation is the only provenly effective weapon against the undead

Can you honestly say you're ready for a zombie attack?

Learn the truth about decapitation, the effectiveness of fire, and the importance of a well thought out plan.

Join up with ZDI and form a local chapter. Figure out defense plans and evacuation routes from your dormitory. Assemble a crack team and start training. Study the ways of Bruce Campbell. Its not a question of if they'll rise. Its a question of when.

The Zombie Defense Initiative now has chapters at the following insitutions of higher learning:
ZDI-Boston University
ZDI-University Wisconsin-Madison
ZDI-Colby
ZDI-Fairfield University
ZDI-Central Connecticut State University
ZDI-State University of New York Potsdam
ZDI-State University of New York Binghamton
ZDI-Johns Hopkins University
ZDI-University of Pittsburgh
ZDI-Northeastern University
ZDI-Albion
ZDI-Wagner
ZDI-Michigan State
ZDI-SUNY Albany
ZDI-Temple
ZDI-Hobart & William Smith
 

Maister

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I recommend a Kalashnikov. Great fire power. More distance than s shotgun.

Sure, an experienced zombie fighter will go with an AK in a pinch if they're out in the field, but for home based defense if you've got the money (that or if you raid the armory at the nearby military base after the zombies have taken over) there is no better weapon than the M-61 vulcan cannon for zombie repellant. With a 100 rounds per second rate of fire, any approaching slow-moving mass of zombies quickly becomes a pile of dismembered body parts.
 

ursus

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Does anybody know if it has ever worked to just rip your clothes and smear ketchup allover yourself and when the zombies come around you act like one of them? Can they smell your brains? Not being especially adept with firearms and such I'm thinking my chances for survival might hinge on my ability to camouflage....
 

Tom R

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Sure, an experienced zombie fighter will go with an AK in a pinch if they're out in the field, but for home based defense if you've got the money (that or if you raid the armory at the nearby military base after the zombies have taken over) there is no better weapon than the M-61 vulcan cannon for zombie repellant. With a 100 rounds per second rate of fire, any approaching slow-moving mass of zombies quickly becomes a pile of dismembered body parts.
That's just for showoffs. Where's the sport in that? It won't be lone before you'll need a license and there will be a size and bag limit.
 

otterpop

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Does anybody know if it has ever worked to just rip your clothes and smear ketchup allover yourself and when the zombies come around you act like one of them? Can they smell your brains? Not being especially adept with firearms and such I'm thinking my chances for survival might hinge on my ability to camouflage....

Check out Zombieland, Bill Murray blended well camouflaged as a zombie until he scared Jesse Eisenberg. But he was a real mensch about it and didn't hold a grudge.
 

Tom R

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They had the right idea back in the sixties. Give them all some acid, show them a couple chords on a Strat, throw in a couple of drum kits and send them all to a farm in up-state New Your. Makes everybody happy. It's the giant Sloars that you have to worry about I can tell you!
 

Cardinal

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Most of you are thinking like common infantry. Build a fort and defend it. The trouble with that approach is there are always more zombies than defenders, the zombies never quit, and the defenders will eventually run out of food, water, ammunition, and other essentials. The only way to survive is through mobility. Get yourself an armored 5-ton truck with a .50 cal machine gun mounted on it. Smaller arms will provide back-up, and shotguns are best for close distances. It will be necessary to destroy zombies from time to time, but your best bet is still to outrun and outmaneuver them.
 

Tranplanner

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Get yourself an armored 5-ton truck with a .50 cal machine gun mounted on it. Smaller arms will provide back-up, and shotguns are best for close distances. It will be necessary to destroy zombies from time to time, but your best bet is still to outrun and outmaneuver them.

To me this is a pretty short-term solution - what happens when you run out of gas? Best to use that truck to round up other survivors, more supplies, and then head for the hills.

This is great...a normally very staid current affairs show on public television devoted a recent episode to the zombie issue: The Agenda: Zombie Episode
 

arcplans

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We all know that there are no "colored" zombies and they evidently hate the tropics, so i think i will do just fine in my central american hide out.
 

TerraSapient

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As I've said before, my main survival plan when the zombie apocalypse breaks is to pirate a vessel and sail into the blue. If you are a good shot, willing to work the sails, and help set up a decent compound, I will pick you up on your respective coasts on my way to an uninhabited island.
 

HomerJ

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Well...

That depends on what type of zombie outbreak we're looking at. Perhaps it's a man-made virus ala 28 days later, or maybe it is "judgement day!!!" (I told you it was coming! I just couldn't get the day right!)

Zombies from outer space?? Part of the fun is not knowing what type of zombie you are going to have to deal with.
 

otterpop

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Is there proof the zombies can't swim?

Even if zombies can swim, I suspect they have a poor sense of direction and wouldn't find the island you are hiding on. Also most would be eaten by sharks. Which could lead to another problem to deal with:

ZOMBIE SHARKS!
 

Mastiff

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We all know that there are no "colored" zombies and they evidently hate the tropics, so i think i will do just fine in my central american hide out.

If Urban19 became a zombie, he'd look for you everywhere. However, he'd probably be a very easily confused zombie... :a:


Now, since I live in a small community up in the woods, chances are very good we'd hear about the outbreak before it got to us. There are six bridges leading into the area, and the rivers and creeks are very fast, especially the ones coming from the nearest population center. Those, we'd blow, leaving only one to barricade and protect, that leads to forest land. That's for hunting parties and scouts. We'll also blow the highway tunnel near the pass, and downstream bridges to keep vehicles from getting close to the community.

Mobilize the police to protect against looting food sources, which will need to be rationed until gardens can be planted for vegetables. Hunting parties may need to raid in metro areas, but most meats will be wild game. They will also locate and commandeer heavy weaponry, since outsiders won't be allowed unless they possess a very special skill we need.

A party would need to be sent to blow two downstream dams, then salmon and steelhead fingerlings will be released from the fish hatchery, to create new runs in addition to the ones that already exist.

The upstream dam would be placed online and would serve the area with electricity, and in the meanwhile, our large generators would keep essential functions open.

There are two large hills between the rivers that will be clearcut to provide fields of fire, and the logs would be built into barricades that would be manned in shifts by locals. The large prairie area (10 square miles) would be planted with crops under guard when planted and harvested.

Finally, perimeter patrols will be scheduled and done routinely as much for bands of renegades as zombii.

That'd be my plan.
 

imaplanner

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eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaains!!!!!!!!!!!!!!x|x|x|
 
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