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Bounty Hunter
Presented by the U. S. Department of Homeland Security, Ready.gov presents the Be Informed campaign. Disaster preparedness is crucial to your survival during uncertain times. Learn all about chemical threats, biological threats, explosions, nuclear blasts, and radiation. View the visual guide

and learn that "In the event of a biological attack, public health officials may not immediately be able to provide information on what you should do. However, you should watch TV, listen to the radio, or check the Internet for official news as it becomes available." Many more helpful instructions are available for your perusal at Ready.gov.

But of course, Americans are not stupid. We also like parody and sarcasm during these uncertain times. To help you cope, visit the Internet Infidels Discussion Forums. Alternative instructions are provided for the visual guide icons. You will be sure to laugh your ass off! For instance:

suggests us to "watch TV, surf the net and listen to music 'round the clock" during a disaster.

Visit the "Infidels" link and you will definitely have a good laugh! Great stuff!


Dear Leader
Staff member

Understand the consequences of the Habanero sauce.

Hey, there's no zoning there ... perfect for a waste site!.

(Aaron Copeland music plays in background)
Beef ... it's what America eats for dinner!

Someone set up us the bomb!

Original Craftsman style windows? Pshaw ... rip 'em out, and throw in some Anderson triple-panes.

The roof, the roof, the roof is on fire! We don't need no water, let the mo...

Could it be ... YOUR BREATH?