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Telemarketer paybacks

Gedunker

Moderating
Staff member
Moderator
Messages
11,552
Points
42
I had a TM call me a while back. Her accent was definitely Canadian and I asked how the weather was up north. She paused (and then I knew I was right) and I wouldn't give it up. Where are you -- Toronto? I love Toronto! 70 Mile? That's really beautiful out there in the Rockies! PEI? My wife's from PEI -- then click, she hung up.

I figure I gave somebody else 2 minutes of peace by keeping her on the line...
 

PlannerGirl

Cyburbian Plus
Messages
6,377
Points
29
i let my beagle offer his slobbery beagle love to the phone

he loves it (i tell him its daddy) and they dont call back
 

Duke Of Dystopia

Cyburbian
Messages
2,713
Points
24
My dad had a TM on the line for a credit card. He was talking loudly into the phone telling the man he was hard of hearing. He changed the meaning of every thing the guy said (YOU SAID THE CARD IS COVERED IN GOLD? WON'T I GET ROBBED IF SOMEONE SEES IT?). After a bit, my dad heard the TM's co-workers to shut up cause he was yelling to loud, they couldn't hear thier own telephone spiel! :) Took 10 minutes for the guy to hang up :)
 

kms

Cyburbian
Messages
6,478
Points
40
Way before the do not call list, if I saw an ad for a telemarketing job in the paper, I would call and hang up, like the random dialing system does. So I felt revenge for a minute or two.

I asked a dinner time telemarketer for his home phone number so I could call about "whatever product" late that day.

The kids like to handle the telemarketers. Bcause of caller ID you can't make prank phone calls, so we let the victims call our house.

It seems like somebody, an awful lot of somebodies, buy from telemarketers, or there wouldn't be so many unsolicited calls. The people who want to buy whatever from these people probably didn't sign up for do not call. They're aren't losing business from people who wouldn't buy from them anyway, and those are the people who signed up. Do not call eliminates the time wasting calls to people who say "no, thank-you". They should be thanking us for improving productivity.
 

Zoning Goddess

Cyburbian
Messages
13,852
Points
39
kms said:


The kids like to handle the telemarketers. Bcause of caller ID you can't make prank phone calls, so we let the victims call our house.

.

Please, tell us how they do that! I would love to put my child on duty.
 

Cardinal

Cyburbian
Messages
10,080
Points
34
When they call, hit them with the "No Englais" line. When they transfer you to a Spanish-speaking telemarketer, then le tthem know you don't speak Spanish. If you happen to know German or Franch or some other language, you might use that. Otherwise, then you launch into the hard-of-hearing or some other routine.
 

BiteMeElmo

Cyburbian
Messages
324
Points
11
PlannerGirl said:
i let my beagle offer his slobbery beagle love to the phone

he loves it (i tell him its daddy) and they dont call back

sounds more like a deterrent for others to use YOUR phone...
 

Mud Princess

Cyburbian
Messages
4,898
Points
27
These are great ideas! ;)

A couple of years ago, before we added our number to a DO NOT CALL list, my husband and I were annoyed by one TM who called us two or three times. The last time, it was 10 pm and we were in bed. My husband took the phone and started yelling at the guy, telling him what a low-life loser he was for being a telemarketer. I think he had the TM practically in tears.

He never called again.
 

plannerkat

Cyburbian
Messages
204
Points
9
My husband LOVES to screw with telemarketers. He alternates between the "you're wasting my time, so I'll waste your time" approach, which involves lots of questions, letting them go through their schtick, and long pauses, and answering the phone with "All telemarketers get a no! Can I help you?" Pity the poor telemarketer who tries to deny being one...
 

Habanero

Cyburbian
Messages
3,241
Points
27
James changed our home message to the movie phone message, (Hello, and welcome to movie phone...)you have to listen longer to hear option number 2 is to leave a message for us. It's gotten a lot of sales people to hang up, especially since i noticed the wedding crap has gotten us on tons of calling lists (and they aren't afraid to leave messages).
 

michaelskis

Cyburbian
Messages
20,232
Points
52
Have you seen Boiler Room? Some one tries to sell him a news paper... well he makes the guy really want to sell it...

I took it to an extreme. Hell I had this guy just about read the UPC code to me... he was on the phone with me for almost 2 hours... while I watched a movie.

At the end I told him, thank you for the information, and tomorrow I will call his company, and let some other sales person have the credit for selling it to me. He told me to F off, and hung up on me.
 

kms

Cyburbian
Messages
6,478
Points
40
Zoning Goddess said:
Please, tell us how they do that! I would love to put my child on duty.

They are kids; it comes naturally. One likes to play chinese restaurant owner, they let a friend answer; she makes herslef cry into the phone, with some phony sob story. Fake foreign languages are big.

It helps to have caller ID. That way the kid can answer.
 

Trail Nazi

Cyburbian
Messages
2,779
Points
24
My husband wants to start asking the telemarketers what they are wearing but hasn't done it yet. Maybe I will.
 

Suburb Repairman

moderator in moderation
Staff member
Moderator
Messages
7,423
Points
34
Being that I'm an evil bastard with a twisted since of humor, here's my response to TMs:

They usually call and ask for me, "Mr. Sparks". Instead of being myself, I pretend like I am a close friend or relative. At that point I start sniveling and sounding really upset. I then tell them that calls like this are very upsetting for me since "Mr. Sparks" died a week ago in a horrible accident. The TM usually gets flustered and apolgizes out of guilt.
 

Zoning Goddess

Cyburbian
Messages
13,852
Points
39
Even tho' I am on the do not call list, I still expect to get calls from companies I do business with. Like geez, the cable company calls constantly, and I'm always screaming at them. So, I'll be glad to take all these suggestions, to deal with them!

P.S. Trail Nazi, that does not sound like your hubby! but hey, let me know how it goes!
 

tsc

Cyburbian
Messages
1,905
Points
23
on kind of a related topic... I really don't care for those who go door to door trying to convert you to their religion.. often the Johavah's Witnesses. Well... it seems if you tell them you are Jewish...the don't know what to do... because they are programed to only convert Christians to their faith. A friend of mine from way back who was Jewish... experienced this.. and then told her neighbors.....so they all told the JW that they were Jewish too...and the JW just go away...kinda like putting salt on a slug. ;)
 

Zoning Goddess

Cyburbian
Messages
13,852
Points
39
tsc said:
on kind of a related topic... I really don't care for those who go door to door trying to convert you to their religion..

Once, I rather loudly told the stepson (back when I was married) to answer the door and get rid of those religious people (well, they looked nerdy enough). I guess they heard me. They were looking for the former tenants. They were the FBI. boo-boo...
 

donk

Cyburbian
Messages
6,970
Points
30
In university we had the Mormons show up on our door on a Friday afternoon. We were all pretty drunk and we asked them in for a drink or two, they came in saw what was going on and left pretty quickly. I am sure they are still praying for our souls.
 

Tranplanner

maudit anglais
Messages
7,922
Points
37
I was on my way out once when these two young guys in suits knocked on the door. I breezily told them I didn't have time to discuss my religious beliefs with them as I locked up and walked by.

They were a bit taken aback as they were actually selling natural gas contracts.
 

Seabishop

Cyburbian
Messages
3,838
Points
25
In high school I was eating at Wendy's with a friend of mine who was older than me. We noticed this hot woman his age who kept looking at us so we thaught it was Charlie's lucky day. It was a real let down when she came over to our table to try and convert us.

I have another friend who is very Catholic and has actually invited these people into his home for a long debate.
 

Trail Nazi

Cyburbian
Messages
2,779
Points
24
On the day that my water broke, I answered the phone thinking that it may be my husband on his way home from work, but it was a TM. They asked for me and I said that I was not available because I was in labor. The guy was trying to sell Sesame Street books and said that it may be more appropriate to call back in a few years. He then wished me the best of luck with the birth of my baby.
 

H

Cyburbian
Messages
2,850
Points
24
Back when I was… (snicker snicker), really though. Once out of sheer boredom (when I was about 17) I spoke with some telemarketer/surveyor for about 30 minutes. At the beginning of the conversation she asked me my profession and I naturally replied, “Shepard”. Well, she found that fascinating and we proceeded to talk, and the conversation was all down hill from there.

No money or “real” personal information was exchanged, plus it was many moons ago, so I guess she was just bored too. :-D
 
Messages
7,649
Points
29
My husband was a recruiter for a while. Army recruiters get world class sales training, so he and I know all the tricks and can tell the salespeople what they are up to -- some of them have never heard the theory behind why they are told to start with 'How are you today?' and stuff like that.

Anyway, since my husband pulled recruiting duty, we are just so cynical. I do not like to be rude or mean because they are still human beings, but I also do not like to waste more than 60 seconds of my precious time when I know I am not going to buy anything.

Recently, a guy knocked on our door and asked how I was and had his product in hand. I told him "I am in the middle of doing something, short of sleep, and really crabby. If you hang around here for more than 60 seconds, you will be threatened with being thrown out of the apartment complex. Have a nice day." I grinned and waved cutely, like we were good friends. He picked up his stuff and backed off, not knowing how to react.

Three years ago, a charity called me, asking for money. I told them the truth: I would love to give to your charity but I just returned from taking care of my sister following her mastectomy. Try me next year. I have given all I have to give for this year.

A few months ago, someone called asking for money for research on some genetic disorder. I told them I would be thrilled to give money to their cause, but I have no money to give because I have my own genetic disorder and it costs me a bundle to take care of myself and I am deeply in debt.

I do not lie. I try very hard to remain polite. But I generally never say I am 'fine' when they ask how I am. I give them The Truth and their whole speil falls apart right then and there. lol.

Sorry for the length.
 

jordanb

Cyburbian
Messages
3,232
Points
25
When they call asking for money for some charity, I love to ask them what percentage actually goes to the charity. It's great because they're legally obligated to say but it's usually something really pathetic like 30%, so they start squirming immediently.
 
Messages
7,649
Points
29
Speaking of squirming:
One Jehovah's Witness who came to my door selling 'pacifism' got an earful about how "my dad fought in both WWII and Vietnam and my husband is career military -- my family has sacrificed enormously to make it possible for you to be a pacifist and to protect your right to Free Speech. If it weren't for the sacrifices of familiies like mine, this country would be overrun by foreign armies and you couldn't afford either pacifism or free speech and I do not appreciate you coming here and insulting the very people..." ad nauseum.

I think they must have put my name on some list. That was 2 moves ago and I do not think I, personally, have spoken to a Jehovah's Witness since.
 

Mastiff

Gunfighter
Messages
7,181
Points
30
donk said:
In university we had the Mormons show up on our door on a Friday afternoon. We were all pretty drunk and we asked them in for a drink or two, they came in saw what was going on and left pretty quickly. I am sure they are still praying for our souls.

I had two Mormons show up once while I was working in my front yard. I was digging a 30' long by 3' x 2' trench for a retaining wall... by hand. When they asked if they could discuss my "heavenly future", I said sure... one of you dig, one of you can talk all you want under that shade tree.

They did it, too. Took turns and dug that whole damned hole. Turns out they have a very rich history... we discussed it at length!
 

boiker

Cyburbian
Messages
3,889
Points
26
telemarketers

i usually talk to them for 10-15 minutes about everything. I'll ask to talk to a manager, then another manager, ask how they obtained my number and ask for their information, tell them if i was sincerly interested in their product i would seek them out, not vice versa.

i offered to sell a TM my information once.
 
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