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Tell Me About Your God

Tell me about your God

  • God is loving

    Votes: 16 31.4%
  • God is vengeful

    Votes: 1 2.0%
  • "God" who? I'm an atheist

    Votes: 12 23.5%
  • Let me tell you more below...

    Votes: 7 13.7%
  • Agnostic

    Votes: 15 29.4%

  • Total voters
    51

Jessie-J

Cyburbian
Messages
384
Points
12
I appreciate the bumper sticker that reads "God is too big to fit in to one religion"

More people should be open minded about religion and more appreciative of aspects of them all.

I'm basically good and I know that is what makes me happy. If you show it to me, then I"ll believe it. If you read me the bible, I will probably fall asleep. If you poked my eye out, then I'd hope yours gets poked out as well. I can forgive when appropriate, but I'll hold a grudge when appropriate also.
 

iamme

Cyburbian
Messages
484
Points
14
God...

Created the world as I know through the big bang,

I have not seen God's(s') hand directly,

That is not to say I have always known what I see,

I am grateful to God for existence,

After that I'm only making up what I want to believe, I have no basis for my beliefs after this point.
 

Gedunker

Moderating
Staff member
Moderator
Messages
11,852
Points
47
I think now that the Big Bang was the riccochet from the universe collapsing.

Still, I'm sending my kids to Catholic school, though I am lapsed Lutheran and largely agnostic (which is how I voted).

I believe in The Origin of Species
 

Wannaplan?

Ready to Learn
Messages
3,237
Points
30
Re: Re: Re: Just in time for Halloween

Rumpy Tuna said:
What the hell is going here?

It's a Jack Chick tract hi-jacked by the All Your Base Are Belong To Us video game phrase. Engrish at its best! That cartoon is an exact representation of what goes on in my mind when I close my eyes and try to think of eternal life in Heaven.

Heaven will be a nightmare - I won't ever be able to leave and, apparently, I'm going to be around the same people forever. And don't forget, we'll be getting new tenants every few seconds. I'm sure we'll be on Prozac all the time, all that bliss has to run out sometime, ya know?
 

Wannaplan?

Ready to Learn
Messages
3,237
Points
30
[Considering that god created all things, why would you talk against him. After all, you are living arent you. Chance didnt make us, god did whether you belive it or not...

Hot patato, yes indeed....

INFIDEL! I vote you off island!
 

Rumpy Tunanator

Cyburbian
Messages
4,463
Points
25
Re: Re: Re: Re: Just in time for Halloween

Alan said:
Heaven will be a nightmare - I won't ever be able to leave and, apparently, I'm going to be around the same people forever. And don't forget, we'll be getting new tenants every few seconds. I'm sure we'll be on Prozac all the time, all that bliss has to run out sometime, ya know?

-I thought everyone was already on prozac? You know what, I'm thinking about being cryogenically frozen so I end up in limbo land of non stop sexual fantasy. Man I got to stop looking in my neighbors window.
 

Budgie

Cyburbian
Messages
5,262
Points
30
Significant Event #2

Event #2 - Mission Work in Mexico

One spring break I went to Mexico with a bunch of Catholic mission workers from KU. I have never professed a demoninational affiliation and a friend of mine who got me into the whole thing promised not to tell anyone. I figured I'd be chastised and shunned if I let my nonaffiliation be known. As it turned out, the issue never came up.

Anyway, we drove to Salitillo, Mexico where we stayed at a mission, played soccer with the children, sat through 3 masses a day, didn't bath, only drank bottled water, etc... One the second day we were on our way into the desert to a rancho in the rural area and out bus broke down. Everyone must have been on a religion high, because we cheerful walked the last 5 miles to the rancho. Everyone talked about how it was a sign from God, which made the trip easy for the KU premadonas. I didn't mind the walk either, but the sunburn was a pain.

We wandered around the rancho and desert for several hours until the evening, when the Father performed a baptism in the evening. So I was sitting on the ground in the dark listening to a spanish baptism service, surrounded by desert hills, no running water, no electricity, with 100 people quitely observing the night. A strong feeling of euphoria came over me. I don't think it was the presence of GOD as much as it was being at peace with myself and the situation.

A couple evenings later I sat through a candle lit rosary and the intensity of the believers was palpable in the air. Mind power or my sense were defintely playing with my mind that evening. Or was it God? The next morning we had lunch with some nuns and went to a barrio, built of cinderblocks with heaps of trash everywhere. People live here and we helped them build make-shift shelter.

The point is that if put in the right situation collective belief and purpose can have a powerful influence on the mind. I think my heighted senses and occassional euphoria was due to being in a completely foreign environment surrounded by foreign (religious) thoughts and a feeling of good will that transcended language and custome. My experience in the rancho, although not earth shattering, did bring a level of spirituality to me although it is directed more towards the wonder of nature, rather than one true God. I will expand on this point later.

I didn't leave Mexico without haggling for a couple of ponchos, buying a gallon of vanilla and finding a little water hole where Corona's cost a quarter. Also, visited Saltillo Cathedral.
 

Budgie

Cyburbian
Messages
5,262
Points
30
Event #3

Event #3 - Spouse Pressure

When my wife and I got married, three religious beliefs colided. She comes from a long line of Episcopalians (C of E), which included a Pastor from upstate New York. I have very strong agnostic beliefs, which means simply that I don't think the existence of God can be proven or disproven. The "Pastor" (minister, whatever) who married use was a hardline Baptist who was my wifes philosophy teacher in college. We here married at an amphitheater in a park. During our meetings with the Pastor, the issue of raising children in a "Christian" home came up. I quitely nodded to this commitment.

We jump to three years later. Our son is born and we have been going to the Episcopal church for a couple of months. I respect my spouses religious beliefs and most of the time attend mass without begrudging. She started talking about getting godparents for our son and I was cool with that. Then she started in on the, "Why don't you get baptized? thing. She explained that it would make her feel alot better. I explained to her that someone else comfort, even a spouses, is not a legitimate reason to profess a belief you don't hold. She didn't like this answer. I told her that I have enough respect for her religious beliefs not to dilute them by being baptized when I wasn't sure I believed. She didn't like that logic.

So we went to the church to speak with the Pastor. She explained her discomfort about the situation especially when we were selecting godparents. I then explained my position in very firm terms and bluntly stated that "I don't believe in a supreme being, not that I may not someday, but that in order for me to get baptized, I have to believe. To do anything else would to disrespect the sacrament and dilute the church. The Pastor agreed with me after some debate about the existence of God.

Point is, peer pressure (especially in akward teen and college years) can bring people to religion without faith. I personally feel that this is disrespectful to the church. Therefore, I have not been baptized because I am not a true believer. Children who are baptized without knowledge of their true beliefs are in my opinion victims of social custome and not given the right of self-determination on religious matters. Yes, they may change in later life, but in many cases they don't know any better. Not having made a conscious or well thoughtout religious affiliation through their parents, they may not be as firm in their beliefs as someone who has lived life and made a determination.

I have also suggested to my spouse, who was bearing down the baptism question repeatedly, that it is possible to not be baptized and live closer to christian ideals, than someone who has been baptized and is a scoundrel. We have discussed this in detail and she agrees from time to time that I live closer to the Christian ideal than she does. This directly relates to my conversation with Anna.
 

mendelman

Unfrozen Caveman Planner
Staff member
Moderator
Messages
15,531
Points
60
Chet said:
Anyway, I've said it before, organized religion is for the weak of mind.

That's a strong a statement. Do you mind elaborating?
 

SW MI Planner

Cyburbian
Messages
3,196
Points
27
Ok, so don't vote me off the island too, but I am Catholic - born and raised. I have to say I probably only go to church once a year, but would like to go more frequently. I pray every night, and will baptize my baby when it's born. ((I really really hate saying IT, but we don't know the sex))

I believe pretty strongly in my faith, but that's not to say that I believe in everything that Catholicism or Christianity stands for. I question everything by nature and there are parts that I buy, and parts that I don't. For example - I believe in evolution and believe that *we* are created as a result of scientific events, rather than spiritual.

There are people/religions that will argue up and down that "there way" is the only way to heaven (or where ever), but I think it's senseless to argue or debate religion. Religion is all based on belief, for which there is no proof or scientific facts.

Bottom line is that I don't judge or condemn anyone for what they believe, nor do I buy into any stereotypes that are ofte associated with the different religions (or atheism, agnostics, etc. etc. etc.)
 

mendelman

Unfrozen Caveman Planner
Staff member
Moderator
Messages
15,531
Points
60
Re: Event #3

Budgie said:
I told her that I have enough respect for her religious beliefs not to dilute them by being baptized when I wasn't sure I believed. She didn't like that logic.


I agree with you about not diluting the faith. I was raised in the Christian tradition, (protestant, wife is Catholic), and I have never been baptized. I never felt my faith was strong enough to justify the act. I also saw many poeple who got baptized, but acted hypocritical to the faith symbolized in the act.

My wife and I now attend a great Catholic church and intend to raise our kids Catholic.

IMHO, God exists, but human interpertation of the nature of God can differ across human cultures and history, and my way of worshipping isn't necessarily better than another's.

Edit: SW MI planner beat to most of my points, though
 

steveanne

Member
Messages
176
Points
7
God, God, bo-bod
Banana-fana fo-fod
me my mo-mod
God

Let's do Satan!

Satan-satan bo-batan
Banafan...........AWwwwwawwwwww!
The devil will hunt you down and
take your ignorant soul
and devour the earth
muhahahahaha
me-my mo matan
Satan!

How about Jesus?

Jesus, jesus, bo-besus.....
 

Wannaplan?

Ready to Learn
Messages
3,237
Points
30
Re: Re: Event #3

mendelman said:
human interpertation of the nature of God can differ across human cultures and history, and my way of worshipping isn't necessarily better than another's

What do you think of these Holy Rollers?

tbn1.jpg


Any worship that differs than the Purple Haired Bimbo is a definite improvement.
 

biscuit

Cyburbian
Messages
3,899
Points
25
Re: Re: Re: Event #3

Alan said:
What do you think of these Holy Rollers?

tbn1.jpg

Those two, and their ilk, are no more representative of Christians than those who hold nothing but contempt and close minded mockery of religion are of all atheist and agnostics. I hope...
 
Last edited:

Duke Of Dystopia

Cyburbian
Messages
2,699
Points
24
HEY MODS!

YOU KEEP CHANGING POSTERS VOTE BUT YOU KEEP FORGETING TO ADD PAGAN/HEATHENS TO THE LIST OF CHOICES! :)
 

Seabishop

Cyburbian
Messages
3,832
Points
25
What do you think of this enlightened athiest? :)

stalin.jpg


I'm sure every religion has egomaniacs scheming for money, just like they all have some corrupt clergy and some violent zealots - doesn't make the underlying beliefs bad.
 

gkmo62u

Cyburbian
Messages
1,046
Points
24
Boy I'd much rather talk politics than god.

fwiw I am in the loving column and especially the freewill part but will not be asking anyone to join me there.
Its a long haul with nothing to believe in.
 

mendelman

Unfrozen Caveman Planner
Staff member
Moderator
Messages
15,531
Points
60
Re: Re: Re: Event #3

Alan said:
Any worship that differs than the Purple Haired Bimbo is a definite improvement.

Quite true, oh thread starter!!

It was probably a "purple hair" evangelical that sent you that email.
 

mendelman

Unfrozen Caveman Planner
Staff member
Moderator
Messages
15,531
Points
60
gkmo62u said:
Boy I'd much rather talk politics than god.

But isn't reglious rhetoric too often combined with and used to enhance political rhetoric?

So, we could probably make a good transition from one to the other.
 

Wannaplan?

Ready to Learn
Messages
3,237
Points
30
Re: Re: Re: Re: Event #3

biscuit said:
Those two, and their ilk, are no more representative of Christians...

How do you know? Did God tell you? Those two love Jesus, if not more, than the average television viewer. Come to think of it, what exactly is a Christian, anyway? Sure, they all believe Jesus is the Son of God, but there's more to it than that, right? There are distinct differences between the beliefs and practices of Benny Hinn, Pope John Paul II, Billy Graham, and Cardinal Bernard Law.
 

Jessie-J

Cyburbian
Messages
384
Points
12
Duke Of Dystopia said:
HEY MODS!

YOU KEEP CHANGING POSTERS VOTE BUT YOU KEEP FORGETING TO ADD PAGAN/HEATHENS TO THE LIST OF CHOICES! :)

ummm, excuse me, pagans are not necessarily heathens.

Could you please be a little more careful how you say things.

Thanks.
 
Messages
7,628
Points
29
To the Beer! worshippers: What? -- No sacred prostitutes at your temple?

Re: the starter post and assumptions that it implies that everyone who died on 9/11 were murdered by God: nah, I am sure the person who sent the original e-mail would say Satan did that part.

I have never actually voted in one of these polls and, well, I will continue my tradition today of commenting but not voting: I cynically tell friends of mine that I am a Spiritual woman and therefore I do not attend church because I have not found it to be a place for spiritual people. (Religion is a thing of worldly power -- churches, organizations, means to collect money, etc. Any real spirituality occurs in one's spirit. I never did believe that the key to heaven involved polishing pews with your buttocks on Sunday morning.)
 

Duke Of Dystopia

Cyburbian
Messages
2,699
Points
24
Jessie-J said:
ummm, excuse me, pagans are not necessarily heathens.

Could you please be a little more careful how you say things.

Thanks.

Heathen- Closley associated with todays reconstructionist multi diety faith of the Germanic or Scandanavian pre-christian beliefs. This group self identifies itself specificly as "heathen" as a subset of pagan. NEVER to be closely associated as or with wicans. Actual practitioners call themselves internaly "Asatruer" or something close to that.


Pagan- Associated with worship of non-middle eastern origin faiths and worshiping multiple(s) of dieties. Many subsets thereof....

Sorry pagans! :)
 

Duke Of Dystopia

Cyburbian
Messages
2,699
Points
24
Michele Zone said:
... I cynically tell friends of mine that I am a Spiritual woman and therefore I do not attend church because I have not found it to be a place for spiritual people. ...


Shes a witch, BURN HER! :)
 
Messages
7,628
Points
29
Duke Of Dystopia said:
Shes a witch, BURN HER! :)

Didn't they do that to me on Cyburbia once or twice already? Can you please give up? This is really hard on my hair. I have a tendency to wake up looking like I stuck my finger in a light socket anyway. Please, for the sake of my hair, please, please, no more burning me at the stake.

(Besides, you don't want me to get started on jokes about how, CLEARLY, I am Saint -- they burned Joan of Arc at the stake and Jesus died on the cross. Being persecuted and murdered is part and parcel of sainthood or being a Messiah, me thinks. <wink, wink>)
 

pete-rock

Cyburbian
Messages
1,547
Points
24
Wow. I had to cut short my honeymoon to join this thread.

First of all, I was raised in the Methodist tradition (the African Methodist Episcopal Church, specifically). My father has been a minister in the AME Church for nearly 30 years. So practically since birth I have always been in a religious environment.

However, two things stand out that helped shape my view of God:

1. The political nature of church denominations. The AME Church, the oldest black institution in the nation (started in 1787), was established solely because other Methodist churches would not allow blacks to worship. That confirmed in my mind that denominations do not always adhere to the principles that Jesus (or more correctly, Paul) established in the Bible.

2. The proliferation of non-principled individuals in the church. All churches have individuals in them that are contrary to everything the Bible teaches. They are mean-spirited, jealous, opportunistic, spiteful, Macchiavellian -- in short, just like most everyone else.

So long ago, I came to this conclusion -- If you go to church to seek God, you will NEVER find him. Anyone seeking God has to look inside themselves to find Him, not externally through a minister or priest, at some ornate cathedral, or even "nature". Anyone looking for external evidence of God will never find Him. Conversely, anyone who found the strength to continue through some personal hardship has found Him, in some form or other.

To me, God is an inner source of strength and power that can be called on in times of need, and I leave Him at that. I've never, ever believed that God selects some people for good fortune and others for damnation. We do that ourselves.

I view God like electricity. He is a power source that one can use if one chooses to tap into Him. There are other sources of power (solar, hydro, nuclear, etc.) that suit others fine. In life, those other sources of power might be money, "the American Dream", or political or corporate privilege. I may have problems with the way my power company (read: church) delivers the power to me, but, ultimately it's up to me to 1) plug into the source of power and 2) decide how that power is used.
 

pete-rock

Cyburbian
Messages
1,547
Points
24
I've noticed that most of the posts here refer to a belief (or non-belief) of God through the prism of their denominational experience. It seems believers believe because their Catholic/Baptist/Methodist/Lutheran/whatever beliefs tell them to. It also seems non-believers came to that conclusion because of the contradictions and failings they saw in the Catholic/Baptist/Methodist/Lutheran/whatever traditions.

Has anyone bothered to look deeper than what someone else tells you to think about God? I respect someone who comes to a conclusion based on their own spiritual journey -- whatever that conclusion is -- far more than someone who rejects God because someone else did some crazy thing in His name.

Also, I've not limited my comments to just Christianity. I believe spiritual enlightenment can be found through Islam, Judaism, Hinduism, Buddhism, or any vehicle that recognizes a higher power.

Lastly, I believe culture trumps religion. Religious beliefs and traditions are shaped by the culture one lives in. The Arab world was authoritative and undemocratic before Muhammad came along with Islam; the Greeks and Romans developed philosophically inquisitive societies long before Christianity took root. For a better perspective on religion, we have to take off our cultural blinders.
 
Messages
7,628
Points
29
pete-rock said:
I view God like electricity. He is a power source that one can use if one chooses to tap into Him.

My experience has been that you don't 'use' that kind of power, it tends to use you.
 
Messages
7,628
Points
29

Has anyone bothered to look deeper than what someone else tells you to think about God? I respect someone who comes to a conclusion based on their own spiritual journey -- whatever that conclusion is -- far more than someone who rejects God because someone else did some crazy thing in His name.
[/B]


I have and I said something very similar to some of what you said, only briefer: I don't go to church because I do not find it to be very spiritual. Religion is a worldly thing and has a social purpose. Spirituality is a personal thing and you won't find it in a particular building on Sunday morning (or any other Sabbath, which varies from religion to religion).

I don't imagine you will get too many "deep" answers to your question. My deep answers probably don't belong in this forum. If El Guapo thinks some of my comments in other threads were "TMI", then, surely, you don't want me to bare my all on this topic.

I do agree with you about culture and that you can find 'god' (or 'enlightenment' or whatever) in any religion. I view all religions as an attempt to a) develop a mental model for thinking about how life works and b) give some practical advice that may be counterintuitive and that many people will not try or learn about unless they are told they 'should'.

Frankly, I also believe in the phrase "man invented God". I think the conceptualization of 'god' varies from culture to culture and religion to religion because people have little choice but to extrapolate based upon what they know and to attempt to describe things in terms they are familiar with. I see "God, the father" and "Mother Nature" and similar terminology in terms of Jungian Archetypes: sort of a Western version of Yin and Yang.

To me, such terminology is all 'semantics' to some extent. If it is semantics that has meaning for "you", I will treat it with respect. And I often use the word God as a matter of convenience. It is better understood and shorter than trying to say something like "Whatever intelligent force there is behind the workings of the universe".

I do not really attempt to define 'god'. My ego is not so big that I think I can fit 'god' (whatever that is) into the limited box of my mind. I like to leave room for the universe to Surprise me.
 

The Irish One

Member
Messages
2,266
Points
25
What? No one is a New England Transcendentalist?

I don't believe in original sin, I don't believe in hell, I don't believe god intervenes in this world to change your circumstances. I believe in God and I believe you can commune with IT. Bible church evangelical stuff, I don't participate in. My parents raised me away from the church. Mom, dad, I love you and thank you for that. My dad was raised in the New England Trancendentalism tradition. My mom raised Methodist by a Irish Catholic mom. Both parents, knowingly or not, gave me much needed space to develop my idea's of understanding what god means to me . What was so productive is hearing my dad tell me with a straight face that there is no hell and if there was this would be it (and then he'd laugh really loud and happily). He'd make the point that many people are living in hellish circumstances beyond their control. So many people I knew were scared of this place, hell, which I saw as an imaginary place minus the suffering in the world, the real hell. I trust my intuition on this question of god! No media or other people.
 

Zoning Goddess

Cyburbian
Messages
13,843
Points
40
I was raised Episcopalian but then realized about middle-school age, just how many of my friends parents went to church every week, then went home to drink, screw around, etc.

Then I got a little older and realized what cretins all the t.v. evangelists actually were. Then hear all the denouncing of persons not of whoever's faiths, religious wars, etc.

So I'm soured on organized religion. But I still have that feeling that there is something out there, more than just us.
 

Cardinal

Cyburbian
Messages
10,069
Points
34
Zoning Goddess said:
But I still have that feeling that there is something out there, more than just us.

Yes, there is someone watching over your every move. But John Ashcroft would be upset if you knew about it.
 

Suburb Repairman

moderator in moderation
Staff member
Moderator
Messages
7,452
Points
36
My two cents

Here's my feeling on the whole creationism vs. Big Bang:

Nobody was around when either one happened, so both theories are matters of faith. Scientists have not proven beyond a shadow of a doubt that the "Big Bang" created the universe, which is why it's a theory rather than a law. By the same token, Creationism relies on a historical document (open to some debate) for its basis. I'm sure this statement will get its fair share of bashing.

I know this seems like cop-out, but there is no reason why the two theories cannot co-exist. Theologists say that the Bible indicates the World to be around 4,000 years old. However, I believe they interpret Genesis too literally. The term "creation week" does not appear in that particular book. Thus, each of the seven days of creation might have been seperated by eons, allowing for a much older Earth. Likewise, the length of a "day" is not defined, meaning a day of creation may have lasted eons. Assuming that God created the World, my money says it made a pretty big bang when he made it. All of that energy had to come from somewhere, which I believe to be God. The order of creation also follows Darwin's theories on adaptation and evolution, in general.

Now I'm not trying to cram my beliefs down anyone's throat. I'm not going to run around telling people that they are going to hell like some do. Just because someone is non-Christian does not mean that they are bad people. Likewise, just because someone is Christian does not mean they are good. I don't pass judgement on other groups of people based on the actions of a few, so please don't pass judgement on Christians because of the acts of a few priests/preachers.

I think this is the first real theoretical discussion I've had in a while... my brain hurts-I'm going to bed! :)
 

Wannaplan?

Ready to Learn
Messages
3,237
Points
30
Re: My two cents

Suburb Repairman said:
I know this seems like cop-out, but there is no reason why the two theories cannot co-exist. Theologists say that the Bible indicates the World to be around 4,000 years old. However, I believe they interpret Genesis too literally. The term "creation week" does not appear in that particular book. Thus, each of the seven days of creation might have been seperated by eons, allowing for a much older Earth. Likewise, the length of a "day" is not defined, meaning a day of creation may have lasted eons. Assuming that God created the World, my money says it made a pretty big bang when he made it. All of that energy had to come from somewhere, which I believe to be God. The order of creation also follows Darwin's theories on adaptation and evolution, in general.

As an atheist who believes in evolution, I always listened attentively to my religious friends when they used this logic to bring these disparate ideas together under one umbrella.

I thought it could make sense.

For them, it allowed them to remain worshippers of God and still accept that apes are close relatives. For me, it meant no more condescending bible-thumping attacks from those freinds.

However, as I've become older, I don't know if these ideas can be brought together. For instance, you assert "the length of a 'day' is not defined, meaning a day of creation may have lasted eons," implying some fluid nature to the meaning of the text within the Christian Bible. However, if one were to extend this logic to other sections of the Bible, then what does "Thou Shalt Not Kill" mean? What about not coveting your neighbor's wife? What about worshipping graven images? What about that whole resurrection thing? Did that really happen, or is the Word of God really that vague?

I mean, if God didn't really rest for one day after six days of work, then did Jesus really die on the cross?
 

SlaveToTheGrind

Cyburbian
Messages
1,668
Points
29
Songs by Ray Stevens

The first time I heard these, I could not contain my laughter.

WOULD JESUS WEAR A ROLEX ON HIS TELEVISION SHOW
Ray Stevens


Woke up this mornin' turned on my TV set
There in livin' color was somethin' I can't forget
This man was preachin' at me.. yeah.. layin' on the charm
Asking me for 20 with 10,000 on his arm

He wore designer clothing and a big smile on his face
Selling me salvation while they sang Amazing Grace
Asking me for money when he had all the signs of weath
Almost wrote a check out.. yeah.. but then I asked myself…

Would He wear a pinky ring, would He drive a fancy car
Would His wife wear furs and diamonds, would His dressing room have a star
If he came back tomorrow there's something I'd like to know
Would Jesus wear a rolex on His television show

Would Jesus be political if he came back to earth
Have his second home in Palm Springs.. yeah.. but try to hide his worth
Take money from those poor folks when He comes back again
And admit He's talked to all those preachers who said they'd been-a talking to Him

Would He wear a pinky ring, would He drive a fancy car
Would His wife wear furs and diamonds, would His dressing room have a star

If he came back tomorrow there's something I'd like to know
Could ya tell me - Would Jesus wear a rolex
Would Jesus wear a rolex
Would Jesus wear a rolex on His television show
Would Jesus wear a rolex on His television show


Mississippi Suirrel - Rays Stevens

Well when I was kid I'd take a trip
every summer,
down to Mississippi.
To visit my granny in her ante bellum world.I'd run barefooted all day long,
climbing trees free as a song.
One day I happened catch myself a squirrel.
I stuffed him down in an old shoebox,
punched a couple holes in the top and when Sunday came,
I snuck him into church.
I was sittin way back in the very last pew
showin him to my good buddy Hugh,
when that squirrel got loose
and went totally berserk!

Well what happened next is hard to tell.
Some thought it was heaven others thought it was hell.
But the fact that something was among us
was plain to see.
As the choir sang I Surrender All
the squirrel ran up Harv Newlan's coveralls
harv leaped to his feet anmd said,
"Somethin's got a hold on me!"
YEOW

The day the squirrel went berserk.
In the First Self-Righteous Church
Of that sleepy little town of Pascagoula.
It was a fight for survival,
that broke out in revival.
They were jumpin pews and shouting Halelujah!

Well Harv hit the isles dancin and screamin
some thought he had religion
others thought he had a demon
Harv thought he had a weed eater loose
in his fruit of the looms.
He fell to his knees to plead and beg,
and that squirrel ran out of his britches leg,
unobserved to the other side of the room.

All the way down to the Amen pew
where sat Sister Bertha better than you
Who had been watching all the commotion
with sadistic glee.
You should've seen the look in her eyes
when that squirrel jumped her garters and crossed her thighs.
she jumped to her feet and said,
"Lord have mercy on me!"
As the squirrel made laps inside her dress,
she began to cry and then to confess
to sins that would make a sailor blush with shame.

She told of gossip and church disention,
but the thing that got the most attention
is when she talked about her love life
then she started naming names!

The day the squirrel went berserk.
In the First Self-Righteous Church
Of that sleepy little town of Pascagoula.
It was a fight for survival,
that broke out in revival.
They were jumpin pews and shouting Halelujah!

Well seven deacons and the pastor got saved
and 25,000 dollars got raised.
And 50 volunteered for missions in the Congo
on the spot.
and even without and invitaion
there were at least 500 rededications.
And we ALL got rebaptised whether we needed it or not.

Well you've heard the Bible stories I guess
of how he parted the waters for Moses to pass.
All th miracles God has brought to this l' world.
But the one I'll remember to my dyin day
is how he put that church back on the narrow way
with a half crazed Mississippi Squirrel

The day the squirrel went berserk.
In the First Self-Righteous Church
Of that sleepy little town of Pascagoula.
It was a fight for survival,
that broke out in revival.
They were jumpin pews and shouting Halelujah!
 

Budgie

Cyburbian
Messages
5,262
Points
30
Lyrics

How about Leper Messiah by Metallica?

Send me money, send me green
Heaven you will meet
Make a contribution
and you'll get a better seat.

Bow to Leper Messiah.
 

Duke Of Dystopia

Cyburbian
Messages
2,699
Points
24
People seem to be mixing up the belief of what god and science are.

Science can tell you how something works. I can tell you how A can effect x, y, & z. It can tell you if it is possible or not. Yes we can do this.

It can't tell you why it all happened in the first place. It can't tell you IF you SHOULD do something or not.

Faith can't be argued with logic. Faith is not logical in any sense of the meaning.

Pure logic has no soul.
 

Budgie

Cyburbian
Messages
5,262
Points
30
Well put, Duke !!!

Faith by definition is belief without proof and proof is the cornerstone of science.

From this standpoint, everyone should be agnostic. You can be agnostic and either believe or not believe in God.

I hate it when people don't know the difference between agnostic and athiest.
 

Duke Of Dystopia

Cyburbian
Messages
2,699
Points
24
Budgie said:
I hate it when people don't know the difference between agnostic and athiest.

DAMN RIGHT!

Freaken agnostic athiest bastards runnin around like a bunch of HEATHEN PAGANS and their many drunken goat footed godS! :) :) :)
 

Budgie

Cyburbian
Messages
5,262
Points
30
Duke Of Dystopia said:
DAMN RIGHT!

Freaken agnostic athiest bastards runnin around like a bunch of HEATHEN PAGANS and their many drunken goat footed godS! :) :) :)

Thanks, that reminds me to install my goats blood screen door, pentigram curtains and Tammy Fay hood ornament.
 

Wannaplan?

Ready to Learn
Messages
3,237
Points
30
Duke Of Dystopia said:
Faith is not logical in any sense of the meaning.

Exactly. This is why Creation Science has been keep out of the science curricula all across America.
 
Messages
7,628
Points
29
Duke Of Dystopia said:
People seem to be mixing up the belief of what god and science are.

Science can tell you how something works. I can tell you how A can effect x, y, & z. It can tell you if it is possible or not. Yes we can do this.

It can't tell you why it all happened in the first place. It can't tell you IF you SHOULD do something or not.


Also, in science, you cannot test a hypothesis unless something is capable of being disproven. You can't really 'prove' scientific theories but if you test the hypothesis and the results come back consistently enough in favor of the hypothesis, it eventually gets elevated to the status of a theory (like Einstien'sTheory of Relativity).

God cannot be disproven. Therefore, it does not come under the realm of 'science'.

However, having said that, I had an interesting discussion with my son. He used to scoff at religion. My husband and I do not believe the same thing and we both agree with the American constitution that we are entitled to freedom of religion. It has never been an issue in our marriage and we don't fight about it.

One day, my son said that he spent some time thinking about it and concluded that his mind was separate from his brain because "If the thoughts in my head were determined by the chemicals, brain structure, etc, then I would be a machine, and not alive." I told him I would call that his 'soul' but I didn't care if he was more comfortable calling it 'consciousness' or whatever. Since then, he isn't derisive towards folks who do believe in religion or whatever.

I tell both my kids that we all actually decide what we believe and what we believe is very personal. No two 'Christians' see things exactly the same -- nor any two 'Muslims', etc. My sons have been raised in a home where deciding for themselves is the norm. But I do expect them to treat other's beliefs with some respect, even if they don't agree. So, that conversation accomplished that. I feel no further need to 'interfere' with what my oldest boy 'believes'.
 

BKM

Cyburbian
Messages
6,461
Points
29
Gnosticism

My (late-breaking) opinion: Maybe the Gnostic heresy is right.

Gnosticism (in a very brief, very sketchy description) believes that there is an ultimate God, who exists outside of creation. The material world was created by a fallen angel, a fragment of this ultimate, loving god. The fallen angel was a flawed being, and the problems of today's world reflect the flawed character of the world created by this fallen being.

Gnosticism believes that you can reconnect with the ultimate, loving God, but it doesn't really believe in "doctrine" or "holy books" but in personal spiritualism.

A very poor, flawed description, but I think Gnosticism better explains the trauma and evident evil in the world than the glurge view at the top of the thread. Gnosticism was a significant thread in early Christianity until it was suppressed.
 

Mastiff

Gunfighter
Messages
7,165
Points
30
PlannerGirl said:
God is an absentee land lord with a twisted form of humor-he could care less what the frail human do.

Bingo!

Live the twisted sense of humor part... Who else would create a being with all sorts of wants and desires, then give them a set of rules that prohibit them?

Anyone ever watch Sam Kinison do the bit about God having Pat Robertson check his tire pressure?
 
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