Old, but funny
We have defeated Saddam Hussein and Iraq. The good news is Iraq is ours, and the bad news is Iraq is ours.
=-=-=-=-=-=-
In Honor of capturing one of history's most evil dictators, here is a synopsis of some of the best Saddam Humor.
"The military said we'll be able to confirm this is Saddam with DNA testing. Apparently we have an sample of his DNA. So Monica Lewinsky is working for the CIA?" —Jay Leno
"There are reports that Saddam has been spotted in central Baghdad. Parts of him were also spotted in northern Baghdad, eastern Baghdad and western Baghdad." —Jay Leno
"Did you see the Iraqi people tear down that statue of Saddam? Hard to believe he won 100 percent of the vote in the last election. Voters are so fickle, aren’t they? One day they love you, the next day, oh boy." —Jay Leno
"It does not look good for Saddam Hussein and his sons. Yesterday we bombed the restaurant where they were eating and today I went on the Internet and they were selling pieces of Uday and Qusay on eBay." —Jay Leno
"The big debate right now is if Saddam is alive or dead. He's dead, then he's alive, then dead, then alive. It's just confusing. Today they showed videotape, and Saddam was speaking at his own funeral." —David Letterman
Saddam Hussein in his interview with Dan Rather said he would rather die than leave his country in exile. Finally, something we can agree on, he'd rather die and we'd rather kill him." —Jay Leno
"According to military analysts, an invasion of Iraq by U.S. forces could cost between $20 and $50 billion. The Pentagon announced that it would offset those costs by referring to it as the Verizon Wireless/Pizza Hut War Against Iraq." —Tina Fey, Saturday Night Live's "Weekend Update"
"Saddam Hussein has agreed to let UN weapons inspectors in Iraq. But he also said under no circumstances will Geraldo be let back in the country." —Conan O'Brien
"It's like they're the Wal-Mart of evil." —Jon Stewart, commenting on President Bush's description of Iraq as a country that "gathers the most serious dangers of our age in one place"
"More and more information coming out on Saddam Hussein. We now know that he has, like, 24 presidential palaces. Each one of these palaces of Saddam's has a dolphin pool and an amusement park. Well, if you didn't think this guy was creepy before — now he's starting to sound like Michael Jackson." —David Letterman