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The Cyburbia Corrupt Wish Game

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Plannerbabs

Cyburbian
Messages
1,037
Points
23
Queen B said:
I wish I had a Christmas party to go to!

Poof! Granted, but everyone is soused and sings maudlin Christmas songs and slobbers all over the rock-hard fruit cake. And all of the presents exchanged are soap-on-a-rope.
 

Cardinal

Cyburbian
Messages
10,069
Points
34
Plannerbabs said:
Poof! Granted, but everyone is soused and sings maudlin Christmas songs and slobbers all over the rock-hard fruit cake. And all of the presents exchanged are soap-on-a-rope.

That would be an improvement over our "holiday lunch."
 

Rem

Cyburbian
Messages
1,521
Points
23
Plannerbabs said:
Poof! Granted, but everyone is soused and sings maudlin Christmas songs and slobbers all over the rock-hard fruit cake. And all of the presents exchanged are soap-on-a-rope.

I wish Plannerbabs would make a wish so this game could continue.
 

Plannerbabs

Cyburbian
Messages
1,037
Points
23
Ok. I wish my wedding were already over, that everyone had a great time, and all of the mass quantities of cake we ended up ordering got eaten.
 

SGB

Cyburbian
Messages
3,386
Points
27
Granted.

But the guests also ate the cake portion you and your spouse were saving for your first anniversary!

I wish the weather remains cold enough for this next projected storm to remain as snow only. Ice storms suck!
 

Plannerbabs

Cyburbian
Messages
1,037
Points
23
Granted, but the woolly mammoths trample your garden into the permafrost, and the saber-toothed tiger gets into the trash all the time.
 

Seabishop

Cyburbian
Messages
3,832
Points
25
SGB said:
I wish the weather remains cold enough for this next projected storm to remain as snow only. Ice storms suck!

Granted, but you quickly discover that you are the only guy under 70 on your new block, and boy do you get tired of shoveling.

I wish that Saddam will admit on Al Jazeera where the WMD's are, where Bin Laden is, and that he likes dressing like a woman because he was "bullied" in the shower after gym class.
 

SGB

Cyburbian
Messages
3,386
Points
27
Seabishop said:
Granted, but you quickly discover that you are the only guy under 70 on your new block, and boy do you get tired of shoveling.

[ot]Thankfully, we have a generouse neighbor who has way too much fun plowing with his John Deere tractor.[/ot]
 

ludes98

Cyburbian
Messages
1,263
Points
22
Seabishop said:
I wish that Saddam will admit on Al Jazeera where the WMD's are, where Bin Laden is, and that he likes dressing like a woman because he was "bullied" in the shower after gym class.

Done, but... everything he admits, turns out to be untrue, except for the cross dressing, after confirmation from world mad hunt. He is killed by loyalist Raj Bucky :) before any more questioning.

I wish customer service was still present in corporate retail.
 

SGB

Cyburbian
Messages
3,386
Points
27
statler said:
I wish I was at least half as smart as the regular posters on Cyburbia.

SHAZAM! You are now half as smart as the dumbest regular poster on Cyburbia. [No names, please.]

I wish I had a pair of new light weight snowshoes.
 

Planderella

Cyburbian
Messages
5,344
Points
31
SGB said:


I wish I had a pair of new light weight snowshoes.

Granted, but your body weight keeps you firmly on the ground and makes it harder for you to walk in the snowshoes.


I wish it was this time next year.
 

mendelman

Unfrozen Caveman Planner
Staff member
Moderator
Messages
15,886
Points
60
statler said:
I wish I was at least half as smart as the regular posters on Cyburbia.

POOH-DA!!!

But unfortunely, you are now unable to read beyond a fourth grade level ;-)

I wish I had the capital to break into the development arena.
 

Seabishop

Cyburbian
Messages
3,832
Points
25
Planderella said:

I wish it was this time next year.

Granted, but Big Easy King has really let himself go since the wedding and won't help at all with the triplets. ;)

I wish for a short mild winter.
 

JNA

Cyburbian Plus
Messages
26,957
Points
71
Planderella said:
I wish it was this time next year.

it is even worst than that,
it is this time
but
LAST YEAR.

I wish I had a new bike, current one is 10 yrs old.
 

biscuit

Cyburbian
Messages
3,899
Points
25
SGB said:
I wish I had a pair of new light weight snowshoes.
KERPLOWEE! Done, but they're constructed from balsa wood, Elmers glue and toilet paper in order to achieve the desired weight. You get only ten steps from your front door before they fall apart, sending you to your demise in deep snow drift.

I wish I had a personal assistant to do my Christmas shopping.
 

Plannerbabs

Cyburbian
Messages
1,037
Points
23
biscuit said:

I wish I had a personal assistant to do my Christmas shopping.

Done, but he buys tacky fake perfume, cheese balls, and musical reindeer sweaters for everyone. And wraps them in gold lame paper. And the sweaters short-circuit and burst into flames after one rendition of "Rudolph, the Red-Nosed Reindeer."

I wish I could get this staff report done and get some good coffee.
 

ludes98

Cyburbian
Messages
1,263
Points
22
mendelman said:
I wish I had the capital to break into the development arena.
Done but your proposed developments are constantly regarded as wacky and way off base by elected officials, deeeenied.

Originally posted by Seabishop
I wish for a short mild winter.

Done you are convicted of crime you didn't commit. Now serving time in beautiful sunny Florida from your windowless cell.

Originally posted by JNA
I wish I had a new bike, current one is 10 yrs old.
Done. Here is your new bike:

50944_b.jpg


Originally posted by Plannerbabs
I wish I could get this staff report done and get some good coffee.

Done. The coffee you got at a new place nearby was fantastic....but the planner hating temp in the office takes some "liberty" with your report. All views in it are attributed to you. You get a memo from the director noting the "views are inconsistent with the values of the department," which is placed in your personnel file, and cc'd to the City manager.

I wish that someone in the office wasn't always sick!!
 

SGB

Cyburbian
Messages
3,386
Points
27
ludes98 said:
I wish that someone in the office wasn't always sick!!

Done. With the office fully staffed for a change, you now find that it actually has two desks fewer than staff. Each day now promptly begins at 8am with a round of Musical Desks. The two losers get a pad of paper, pencil, and a seat in the lunch room for the day.

I wish I had a higher salary.
 

Rem

Cyburbian
Messages
1,521
Points
23
Seabishop said:
Granted, but Big Easy King has really let himself go since the wedding and won't help at all with the triplets. ;)

Lol - too clever Seabishop
 

Rem

Cyburbian
Messages
1,521
Points
23
SGB said:
I wish I had a higher salary.

Congratulations, you are now paid in Australian dollars and find that your meagre salary is now expressed in seven figures. Unfortunately due to leakage from conversion and bank fees, you now have no money left in your budget for beer.

I wish my wifes' mother and grandmother patch up their differences before Christmas.
 

biscuit

Cyburbian
Messages
3,899
Points
25
Rem said:
I wish my wifes' mother and grandmother patch up their differences before Christmas.
Done! They kiss and make up, but in resolving their differences they come to the conclusion that you were the real problem all along and now they can't wait to share this with your wife during Christmas dinner. Happy holidays!

I wish I could leave for Christmas vacation right now.
 

Trail Nazi

Cyburbian
Messages
2,777
Points
24
biscuit said:
I wish I could leave for Christmas vacation right now.

Let it be so, but it will not be a happy Christmas at Biscuit's house because your leave for the holidays is actually a "leave from work" as your boss is having you "temporarily reassigned" to a janitor's position because you were rubber stamping all of the bad projects through.

I wish for a new pair of black Gortex hiking/snow boots and an ice scraper.
 

Seabishop

Cyburbian
Messages
3,832
Points
25
Trail Nazi said:

I wish for a new pair of black Gortex hiking/snow boots and an ice scraper.

Granted, but the boots are sooo last winter that all the other girls whisper and laugh whenever you trudge by. And you get so much snow that you can't take them off until June.

I wish that our 2 paid-off cars last another 5 years with no problems.
 

mendelman

Unfrozen Caveman Planner
Staff member
Moderator
Messages
15,886
Points
60
Seabishop said:
I wish that our 2 paid-off cars last another 5 years with no problems.

TA-DA, but unfortunately the cars turn into 1989 Geo Metros (one purple, one teal)

I wish I could complete my coin collection with all the expensive coins I still do not have.
 

ludes98

Cyburbian
Messages
1,263
Points
22
Done, but a new tax is enacted which requires you to now pay tax on money not in circulation.

I wish I had a bigger garage for my tools.
 

Wannaplan?

Ready to Learn
Messages
3,252
Points
31
ludes98 said:
I wish I had a bigger garage for my tools.

***SCHWIIING***

You now have a three-car garage and a $10,000 storage shed in the backyard. But all your tools are now made of neon plastic and carry the name brand, "Fisher Price."

I wish Saddam Hussein, Presisent Bush, and Donald Rumsfeld have a great big group hug on the Oprah Winfrey show.
 

GeogPlanner

Cyburbian
Messages
1,431
Points
25
But once they hug they form to combine Golgotha, the $hit demon!

I wish that businesses would give me thier tax breaks!
 

SGB

Cyburbian
Messages
3,386
Points
27
GeogPlanner said:
I wish that businesses would give me thier tax breaks!

Granted.

In accordance with NYS Empire Zone guidelines, you must now hire a domestic employee, with a promise to hire two more over the next 5 years.

Don't forget to check your employees for citizenship and valid social security numbers.

And, oh yes - the tax breaks will expire suddenly after the State Comptroller's Office finishes an audit of the Empire Zone program and publicizes the program's total costs to the taxpaying electorate.

I wish I was political enough to get one of those high payin' state jobs.
 

GeogPlanner

Cyburbian
Messages
1,431
Points
25
SGB said:
Granted.

In accordance with NYS Empire Zone guidelines, you must now hire a domestic employee, with a promise to hire two more over the next 5 years.

Don't forget to check your employees for citizenship and valid social security numbers.

And, oh yes - the tax breaks will expire suddenly after the State Comptroller's Office finishes an audit of the Empire Zone program and publicizes the program's total costs to the taxpaying electorate.

I wish I was political enough to get one of those high payin' state jobs.

So it is...

However, the day you move into your new digs, the agency director who's your uncle's political pal, gets caught taking trips to St. Thomas for "professional development" and now your are being audited by the second day because your job title is in question.

I wish that I could log on to this site to get away from Empire Zones for a moment without having my wish granted and being tied into Empire Zones...
 

Rem

Cyburbian
Messages
1,521
Points
23
GeogPlanner said:
I wish that I could log on to this site to get away from Empire Zones for a moment without having my wish granted and being tied into Empire Zones...
None of that makes any sense so you must attend NYS Empire Zone Remedial School instead of spending Xmas with your friends and family. You will mainly be tutored in communication skills. Yes - empathy, situational language, active listening, aaarghhhhhh.

No wait that is too mean. You get Xmas and Boxing Day off school.

I wish all decisions made at my Council were preceded by a well informed, rational, debate and that all votes were cast on merit rather than political allegiances and personality.
 

donk

Cyburbian
Messages
6,961
Points
31
Rem said:

I wish all decisions made at my Council were preceded by a well informed, rational, debate and that all votes were cast on merit rather than political allegiances and personality.

Poof it is granted, but you must answer to

frinkcbg.jpg


and the rest of the Springfield intelligentia.

I wish that people doing job interviews where more considerate about time, money and distance travelled for an interview.
 

boiker

Cyburbian
Messages
3,887
Points
26
donk said:
Poof it is granted, but you must answer to

frinkcbg.jpg


and the rest of the Springfield intelligentia.

I wish that people doing job interviews where more considerate about time, money and distance travelled for an interview.

Done, but they dont give a crap how qualified or not an individual is. Hiring decisions are left to "THE WHEEL OF CHANCE!!!"

I wish that I had a turkey sandwich... and i don't want anything weird to happen, I don't want the sandwhich to eat me, I don't want to turn into a sandwich myself. I jiust want a plain turkey sandwich.
 

JNL

Cyburbian
Messages
2,448
Points
25
boiker said:

I wish that I had a turkey sandwich... and i don't want anything weird to happen, I don't want the sandwhich to eat me, I don't want to turn into a sandwich myself. I jiust want a plain turkey sandwich.

You didn't say that you wanted to be able to eat the sandwich...

The most delicious looking turkey sandwich is on your desk. Locked inside a steel cage. You can't get to it :p

I wish I had finished writing these research proposals already
 

Rumpy Tunanator

Cyburbian
Messages
4,463
Points
25
JNL said:
I wish I had finished writing these research proposals already

Done, your finished writing them... but then you have this uncontrollable urge to burn them in defianance of something you wish to promote.


I wish I had a thread to apologize for my past inappropiate and delusional behavior (disclaimer: former person was not responable for his or her behavior).
 

boiker

Cyburbian
Messages
3,887
Points
26
I wish that I had a turkey sandwich... and i don't want anything weird to happen, I don't want the sandwhich to eat me, I don't want to turn into a sandwich myself. I jiust want a plain turkey sandwich.


JNL said:
You didn't say that you wanted to be able to eat the sandwich...

The most delicious looking turkey sandwich is on your desk. Locked inside a steel cage. You can't get to it :p

I wish I had finished writing these research proposals already

someone please! is this simpson's quote too hard to complete?! :)
 

JNL

Cyburbian
Messages
2,448
Points
25
boiker said:

someone please! is this simpson's quote too hard to complete?! :)

Okay wise guy, I'm a Simpsons fan but not in the same league as you :p so why don't you help us out here? :)
 

boiker

Cyburbian
Messages
3,887
Points
26
JNL said:
Okay wise guy, I'm a Simpsons fan but not in the same league as you :p so why don't you help us out here? :)

hmm.. looks good, mayo, lettuce....turkey's a little dry... THE TURKEYS A LITTLE DRY!?!?!!!

it's the halloween episode with the monkey paw that grants corrupted wishes.

Maggie = wished for a new pacifier delivered in a strech limo = no bad consequence.

Bart= wished the simpsons were rich and famous = the simpsons were so rich and famous they became horribly hated.

Lisa = wished for world peace = aliens invaded and attempted to enslave the world until Moe and other's chased them off with a nail in a board.

Homer = wished for a wish that couldn't be corrupted, a turkey sandwich.. .however, the turkey was a bit dry :)

hilarity ensued.
 

JNA

Cyburbian Plus
Messages
26,957
Points
71
?does this help?

Treehouse of Horror II
also known as ``The Simpsons Halloween Special 2''

I'll make a wish that can't backfire.
I wish for a turkey sandwich, on rye bread, with lettuce and mustard, and, <and> I don't want any zombie turkeys, I don't want to turn into a turkey myself, and I don't want any other weird surprises. You got it?
[the monkey's paw closes its finger in understanding]
[a turkey sandwich materializes]
Homer takes it] Hey! [digs in]
Not bad. Nice, hot mustard. Good bread. The turkey's a little dry.

http://www.snpp.com/episodes/8F02.html

The Simpsons Archive is the Internet's clearinghouse of Simpsons guides, news and information, voluntarily maintained by members of alt.tv.simpsons.
 

boiker

Cyburbian
Messages
3,887
Points
26
JNA said:
?does this help?

Treehouse of Horror II
also known as ``The Simpsons Halloween Special 2''

I'll make a wish that can't backfire.
I wish for a turkey sandwich, on rye bread, with lettuce and mustard, and, <and> I don't want any zombie turkeys, I don't want to turn into a turkey myself, and I don't want any .........
.

well.. I murdered the quote, but had the reference.

I wish that I had quoted that more accurately.
 

GeogPlanner

Cyburbian
Messages
1,431
Points
25
granted, but as you return to edit your original post...an error in the cyburbia BB code causes your profile and posts to be deleted from all of existence...you must start posting from post #0 and the BB only lets you chose the wal mart greeter avitar.

i wish that it was christmas all year.
 

Tranplanner

maudit anglais
Messages
7,943
Points
39
GeogPlanner said:

i wish that it was christmas all year.

Zap - you are now dead and in heaven, where according to Monty Python's "The Meaning of Life", everyday is Christmas Day.

I wish I had started my Christmas shopping already.
 

GeogPlanner

Cyburbian
Messages
1,431
Points
25
poof...and you have...complete with your eternal shopping companion Kirsty Alley and you only shop at Pier One.

i wish my office had more of a view than a large brick wall 10 feet away and i was able to know what the weather is outside...
 

ludes98

Cyburbian
Messages
1,263
Points
22
GeogPlanner said:
i wish my office had more of a view than a large brick wall 10 feet away and i was able to know what the weather is outside...

Done you now have a skylight and no window.

I wish I was getting a new pocket pc for Christmas.
 

JNA

Cyburbian Plus
Messages
26,957
Points
71
GeogPlanner said:
i wish my office had more of a view than a large brick wall 10 feet away and i was able to know what the weather is outside...

Poof! Granted
Now your office is outside on a picnic table under an umbrella.

I wish I was insightful and knowledgable as "the Throbing Brain"
 

Mastiff

Gunfighter
Messages
7,165
Points
30
ludes98 said:
I wish I was getting a new pocket pc for Christmas.

*BING* Done... You get it for Christmas 2030.

I wish I hadn't had so many beers playing poker last night...
 

nerudite

Cyburbian
Messages
6,536
Points
30
Mastiff said:
*BING* Done... You get it for Christmas 2030.

I wish I hadn't had so many beers playing poker last night...

Done. But now that 'woman' that you played strip poker with last night (far right) doesn't look as good anymore.

poker.jpg


I wish I had the money to visit my friends in the States.
 

SGB

Cyburbian
Messages
3,386
Points
27
BLING BLING

Done. Your checking account now has enough to cover the bus fare for your Tour De Penitentiaries de Les Etats Unis.

First stop: Sing Sing

I wish we had more snow.
 

NHPlanner

A shadow of my former self
Staff member
Moderator
Messages
10,156
Points
45
SGB said:
I wish we had more snow.

Granted. But the snow does not stop for 4 weeks, making the blizzard of '78 look like flurries.

I wish I could have seen a year ago how messed up my personal life was going to be, and have made changes to avoid it.
 
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