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The Hijacked Favorite Billboards Thread (AKA relationship advice from Planners)

el Guapo

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El Guapo on Love.

Seeing as this post has been hijacked all the way to Yemen and back, here goes...Enjoy those 21 year olds Dammit. They will keep your memories warm into old age. They will provide you with countless hours of quality daydreaming material when you join the Viagra generation like Giff and I. If you are spending much time in that kind of relationship talking you have got it all wrong Carpe Hottie (Seize the Babe!)

When I was living in hellish Southwest Kansas, a good portion of my former bachelorhood, I traveled to a college town regularly and visited my friends there. Thus, I was able to meet a plethora of educated lasses in a casual environment. I found a wonderful woman and so will you!

We are all with you Prudence! Now go get yourself a woman!

Should I write an advice column Dan? Kind of a Perry's corner for lovelorne planners?
 

NHPlanner

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Moderator hat on....

The hijack is now it's own thread.

Carry on.

Moderator hat off...
 

Tranplanner

maudit anglais
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I second El Guapo's thoughts on 21 year-old women. My fiancee is 21.

I'm 29 - soon to be 30.

Don't start on the age difference thing.
 

PlannerGirl

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And thanks for the help Tranplanner but i already tried dating in Orlando

I did not like how flat it was, how nuts it is to drive on I drive or the number of rednecks. There seem to be no educated folks for miles *sorry Dan did not know you were there when i was visiting a year ago*

But hey for a couple tickets into Disney...jk
 
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I go home for the night.... server down this morning, and look at all I missed. Ok, here are my contributions:

1. I agree that some menfolk do like the bold womenfolk. My husband sounds a lot like Dan - social, but a little on the shy side. Rob and I knew each other from school, but that was about it - casual acquaintence until the fateful night when we happened to be in the same bar where I drunkenly molested him, giving him the courage to call me two days later and ask me out.

2. I see no problem with a 10 year age difference. However, Prudence is right - he's not going to have much in common with the average 21 year old - BUT when you do find the right gal that you have lots in common with, who cares if she's 21 or 41? Just so long as she's legal!

3. I just thank God everyday that when I was in the "swinging singles scene" it was still appropriate to go out in ripped jeans, tee shirt and flannel instead of the Spice Girl look women seem to be sporting these days.

4. And its always feast or famine, Prudence. Chris Rock did a very funny bit on why women want married men - its because single men can't take care of themselves - they eat like crap, their hair is always all mussy, they forget to shave. Once their wives start dressing them, making them shave and generally clean their men up - that's when other women come running.
 

Cardinal

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prudence said:

Lately though, I seem to attract women who are 21-ish. Not that there is anything wrong with that, but I am now 30. I may look a few years younger, but I am 30. What in the hell am I going to talk about with a woman who is 21?
Talk? You are supposed to talk to women?! Maybe that's what I've been doing wrong all these years! Hmmm....

Seriously, women do seem to like to talk a lot more than us "grunters," but I have often found myself easily carrying on conversations with youger women. Of course, topics like work or music don't usually work out.

If the 21-ish women are a problem, send them my way. Now I'm off to visit El Guapo's recommended web site....
 

el Guapo

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Additional Advice:

It took me a while to figure this one out, but it appears that when a woman is going on and on about something you are supposed to sit there and listen and offer no advice. Nope, don't do it, don't offer to kill the offender for her or have a word with the rude store clerk, don't offer to solve the problem in any way, even if she asks you to. You just sit there and comfor her. Don't even glance at the TV or mention that you are in the last 15 minutes of "A bridge too far." Just suck it up.
 

Mastiff

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I used to live near SW Kansas...

El Guapo said:
When I was living in hellish Southwest Kansas, a good portion of my former bachelorhood, I traveled to a college town regularly and visited my friends there. Thus, I was able to meet a plethora of educated lasses in a casual environment.
...and I could SWEAR I used to see this billboard.
 

Cardinal

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Re: Additional Advice:

El Guapo said:
Don't even glance at the TV
Oh yeah, it may be the Simpsons, it may even be John Wayne, but don't even think of it.
 

Mastiff

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Re: Re: Additional Advice:

Michael Stumpf said:


Oh yeah, it may be the Simpsons, it may even be John Wayne, but don't even think of it.
But what if it's Monday Night Football, and your favorite team is playing? It's a whole new strategy then.

First, position her so you can hug and kiss her head, and sneak a one-eyed glance over top of her and see the set. Second, and this is the MOST important part... don't squeeze harder if your team fumbles, and no extra kisses for a touchdown! She can hear the announcers, and KNOWS what's up. Lastly, just let the beer get warm. Try and reach for it with a free hand and you're dead. That why they sell them six at a time...
 

giff57

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KMateja said:


2. I see no problem with a 10 year age difference. However, Prudence is right - he's not going to have much in common with the average 21 year old - BUT when you do find the right gal that you have lots in common with, who cares if she's 21 or 41? Just so long as she's legal!

Ok, I am an expert on this one. My wife is 17 years younger than me. The thing was that were were friends first and because, of her childhood, her personality was like someone much older. It was one of those things that just developed so, it has not been a problem. (besides I refuse to act older than 30 so she is about to catch up to me)

And like EG it took a while to figure out this listening and not giving advice ect. thing. Take the short cut and do what the Great El Guapo suggests.....
 

Chet

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giff57 said:

Ok, I am an expert on this one. My wife is 17 years younger than me.
I thought you said your wife turned out to be a lesbian?
 

giff57

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bturk said:


I thought you said your wife turned out to be a lesbian?
No, that was my EX wife.

Mastiff said:


That could be good or bad, really...
Problem was that the truth didn't come out till we were divorced for a while. Being homosexual in a town of 300 in the middle of Iowa can be a problem.
 
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el Guapo

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The PhotoShop Weekly Winner is...

mastiff, for excellent work with a hijacked thread.

 

Mastiff

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giff57 said:


Problem was that the truth didn't come out till we were divorced for a while. Being homosexual in a town of 300 in the middle of Iowa can be a problem.
Yep, you said a mouthful... small mid-western towns and alternative lifestyles don't mix real well. And I was implying that perhaps a bi-sexual wife wouldn't be bad.
 

el Guapo

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Re: Re: Re: Additional Advice:

Mastiff said:
She can hear the announcers, and KNOWS what's up.
Closed Captioning has solved this problem. Turn the TV off and act as if you are paying attention. Then, turn it back on when her back is turned towards the set and quickly mute it. Then switch on the CC. God Bless the Hearing Impared for bringing this to all the married men. With practice you will be able to do this by touch alone. Once again the thanks go out to another of God's select for the braile bumps on the remote keys.; The blind.
 

Mastiff

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Re: The PhotoShop Weekly Winner is...

El Guapo said:
mastiff, for excellent work with a hijacked thread.
*bow*

And be glad I couldn't find that Amigos quote about Carmen "opening up like a flower" or how it goes...
 

Mastiff

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Re: Re: Re: Re: Additional Advice:

El Guapo said:


Closed Captioning has solved this problem. Turn the TV off and act as if you are paying attention. Then, turn it back on when her back is turned towards the set and quickly mute it. Then switch on the CC. God Bless the Hearing Impared for bringing this to all the married men. With practice you will be able to do this by touch alone. Once again the thanks go out to another of God's select for the braile bumps on the remote keys.; The blind.
Still... You squeeze real hard at the wrong time, you're toast.
 

giff57

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Re: Re: Re: Re: Additional Advice:

El Guapo said:


Turn the TV off and act as if you are paying attention. Then, turn it back on when her back is turned towards the set and quickly mute it.
First you would have to replace all of the light bulbs with 200 watt ones so the additional light from he screen wouldn't be noticed.
 

Tranplanner

maudit anglais
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PlannerGirl said:
Ok what about advice for us sort of...outgoing women? sugestions for us?
Don't change. Eventually you'll find a guy who digs that - and it'll all click into place.

Hey - it happened to me. When my fiancee lined me up and took a run at me, I didn't stand a chance.


















And I loved every minute of it :)
 
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PlannerGirl - my advice to you is the same as Tran's - keep doing what you're doing and keep putting yourself out there. As long as you're still meeting men, and making yourself available, eventually the right one, who is wild about you and your dogs, will stick.

One of my sister's friends is 25, lives at home with her mom, is a complete social recluse, complains constantly about how she's getting older and isn't married. How does she expect to find Mr. Right if she never leaves the house?
 

Mastiff

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I know that sig line!

Bill Murray, as the clown robbing the bank in Quick Change.
 

Dan

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Re: Collection of thoughts on a wild list

PlannerGirl said:
Dan Im not about to put my pic up here, lol ask real sweet and ill send ya one but im not posting it - i may be nuts but im not crazy ;-)
I have seen the picture.

My TMJ has been cured.

I'm not showing it to anyone, so don't even ask.
 

Tranplanner

maudit anglais
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TMJ? I must have missed class that day...

This just in:

CNN is reporting that the entire feline population of the Orlando Metropolitan area has spontaneously combusted...
 
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re: corresponding with incarcerated men

correspond? hell - much better luck if you actually GO to the prisons and work the arts and crafts hour, or tutor for the GED. You'll get LOTS of nibbles on your hook that way! hee.

And yes, Mastiff - it is Bill Murray's tag line. One of my favorite movies - Quick Change!
 
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donk

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I have been following this thread, just no time to respond until now. As another of the single, low 30's here on the forum I am
keeping notes on the do's and don'ts from teh married and soon to be married.

My younger women story is as follows. (me 31 her 23) I made a comment about remembering seeing the first star wars in the movie theatre as a kid, she reminded me that she was not even born, it went down hill from there.

Similar to dan, i am relatively social (when given the chance), but rotten at reading signs women send me. Have found out numerous times that if I had asked I would have had a date, but now they think I am a stuck up jerk or worse.

Plannergirl, more people like the forward / aggressive / confident woman then you would expect. If only there were more in my area. All of the women seem to be married, divorced with multiple kids, or belong in south florida.


Downtown, you stole what was going to be my sig. I have been thinking for weeks what would express how I feel in a sentence and the sad clown was it. Back to the drawing board.
 
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prudence

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I will certainly heed the advice of my collegues. You all have the wisdom of Solomon.

I thought I was on the right path 5 years ago...I was dating a girl for nearly three years and she broke up with me on the way to my sister's wedding; of which we were standing up in. The reason...I didn't spend enough time with her. Mind you I was finishing my second year of grad school (full time) and working full-time as a planner for a town of 35,000...I realized I didn't understand women.

BTW, the best recovery for that is the bride telling the other bridesmaids the story...thankfully women--especially at weddings--are soooo compassionate.

But seriously...I am envious of all you who found your match by whatever means. Moreover, you are making it work. Absolutely outstanding. I hope I am a fraction as fortunate.

Now, back to PlannerGirl and the PVC/Latex thing...
 

jmf

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Tranplanner said:
TMJ? I must have missed class that day...

This just in:

CNN is reporting that the entire feline population of the Orlando Metropolitan area has spontaneously combusted...
Damn it!!!! Food all over my monitor....again.....What's worse is what I'm eating....cherries...ughhhh. I hope the pit didn't chip the screen.
 

Tranplanner

maudit anglais
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donk said:

My younger women story is as follows. (me 31 her 23) I made a comment about rememebring seeing the first star wars in the movie theatre as a kid, she reminded me that she was not even born, it went down hill from there.
My fiancee just laughs in my face whenever a situation like that comes up. I got my revenge by getting her hooked on retro 80s music.
 

NHPlanner

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donk said:
My younger women story is as follows. (me 31 her 23) I made a comment about rememebring seeing the first star wars in the movie theatre as a kid, she reminded me that she was not even born, it went down hill from there.
Sounds VERY familiar....though my wife was alive when it was released, she was maybe a couple of months old. :) I remember going to the drive in and seeing Star Wars for the first time.....

Fortunately for me, the age jokes are usually turned around on me being old....not her being so young. :D

Tranplanner said:


My fiancee just laughs in my face whenever a situation like that comes up. I got my revenge by getting her hooked on retro 80s music.
You and I have way too much in common Paul! :p
 
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NHPlanner

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Tranplanner said:
Yep - scary isn't it?
For those uninformed about the similarities between Tranplanner and I:

Me: 28 (soon 29) year old planner
Married in June 2002 to then 23 (now 24) year old.
Honeymooned in Nova Scotia and PEI

Tranplanner: 29 year old planner
to be married in August 2002 to 21 year old
Planning honeymoon in Nova Scotia.

:p
 

Dan

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PlannerGirl said:
I did not like how flat it was, how nuts it is to drive on I drive or the number of rednecks. There seem to be no educated folks for miles
Being a planner, I think a map is a good way to present my situation of geographic undesirability in the Orlando metropolitan area. This shows mainly the area northeast of downtown; most of the resorts are to the south.

Rednecks -- think about it this way. Up north, Yankee culture slowly fades into Dixie culture. You'll start hearing a bit of a twang in far southern Pennsylvania or Maryland, but an all-out drawl won't hit until you're deep into Virginia. Down here, the dividing line between Southern culture and "Northern" Florida culture is very sharp, and it runs roughly through the Orlando area. The area south of Disney is the far southern edge of Orlando's built up area, so there's more ... well, rr'al folk around there than you would see to the north (the "power corridor," or the local equivalent of Fairfax County -- this is where you'll find the greatest concentration of single professionals), or to the east (predominantly middle-class Anglo and Hispanic families, with more singles than in my neck of the woods.) There's some enclaves containing a dominant demographic of stereotypical working-class white Southerners scattered about, too.

Anyhow, because of where I work, the the night meetings I have to attend, living in one of the areas where young single professionals tend to cluster wasn't possible. Can't get here from there ... at least in under 45 minutes during rush hour. My housing choices were limited. Closer to downtown, and I'd be in Pine Hills, a once middle-class suburban area that experienced rapid socioeconomic change inthe 1990s. Head west, past the duallie trucks, and I'd be closer to work, but too far away from anything. This, I had to live in Family Land -- that part of West Orange County that doesn't reverberate with the sound of either diesel engines or subwoofers.

I can get downtown in 15 minutes from my house, and it takes about 12 to 15 minutes to get to work. Sounds great! However ... although there's plenty of professional families (and a disproportionately large number of middle/upper middle class blue collar families) near me, single professionals aren't here. They're there. Even though traffic through "there" crawls, and it's faster to drive the 15 miles from (northern) Winter Park to (western) Ocoee than to crawl along for five miles to (northern) Altamonte Springs, I'm in Orlando's "God Forsaken Zone." I'm not that far away from downtown and the northern suburbs, but it seems that way to most people living here.

To put it in PlannerGirl terms ... let's say about 90% of all Washington area single women live along the I-66 corridor, extending from Arlington to the outer fringes of the metropolitan area. Let's say I live in Bethesda or Wheaton, and PlannerGirl lives in Arlington. To her, someone in Centreville, Chantilly or even Manassas just seems closer than me. Even if it takes 15 minutes to get to Bethesda, and 40 minutes to get to Fairfax because I-66 is a parking lot all the time, Fairfax still seems closer.
 

PlannerGirl

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Wow Dan you know DC area well! Come here offten?

My dad and sister lived in Metro West in Orlando it was nice but-fake feeling as hell.

Orlando seemed a nice place to visit but not live *and I could not find any planner type jobs when i was looking there* so i ended up in DC

Land of too many attys!
 

prudence

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Dan -

I am going to be in Orlando this October for the Octoberfest celebration...is there anything that I shouldn't miss?? Good pubs?? Best beaches??
 

perryair

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My dad and sister lived in Metro West in Orlando it was nice but-fake feeling as hell.
Everything new in Orlando seems so... sterile. I think that Tampa is cooler than Orlando, as far as Central Florida cities go.
 
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How did the rednecks end up with prime lakefront property????? I assume the Gentry hasn't arrived yet to "displace" them.
 

PlannerGirl

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Im going to Naples for my sisters wedding *how far a drive is that from MCO?* anything cool there on a friday night?

Then Saterday night my hinny is hitting PI and Mannequins, unless you guys know of some where better.
 

prudence

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Ybor City is one of the best places in the country to drink...very worthwhile. The Green Iguana. It's the real reason to stop by Tampa...

It's a good thing I am a city planner...I can hide the fact that I congregate towards the taverns as "understanding the character of the community."

Where can I swim with the dolphins in Orlando?? It is the exact opposite of my personality, which I why I need to do it...
 

Repo Man

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Ybor City is great. I really like Club Hedo, where they have a small "river" running down the center of the bar. If it is dead in there you can your buddies can race boats made from beer labels down the river.
 

Dan

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Tranplanner said:
CNN is reporting that the entire feline population of the Orlando Metropolitan area has spontaneously combusted...
Absolutely not true. I just had the Town Clerk take this picture outside of Town Hall. I don't see any combusting kittens ... do you?
 

NHPlanner

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Of course 5 minutes after Dan took that picture, this was happening....
 
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