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The Hijacked Favorite Billboards Thread (AKA relationship advice from Planners)

prudence

Cyburbian
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688
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20
One simple post has led to a two day shutdown of Planning Departments all over the country.


In a related story, Adobe stock reaches record high.
 

Dan

Dear Leader
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donk said:
My younger women story is as follows. (me 31 her 23) I made a comment about remembering seeing the first star wars in the movie theatre as a kid, she reminded me that she was not even born, it went down hill from there.
Today, I saw a sign at a convenience store.

YOU MUST HAVE BEEN BORN ON OR BEFORE THIS DAY IN 1984 TO BUY TOBACCO PRODUCTS

I graduated from high school in 1984. Not only that ... I still have my old high school jacket, sweatshirt, and Class of '84 t-shirt. The names on the shirt ... they're all familiar, like high school was a place I left not long ago. The jacket is still with the 'rents in Buffalo, and the t-shirt has shrunk to a size where it wouldn't fit on a scrawny freshman, but I still wear the sweatshirt on a regular basis.

I wear clothing that is 18 years old. Yup ... I'm old. It's this awkward, mid-30s age though. Because I'm single, I feel like my lifestyle hasn't aged since ... oh, I was 24 or 25. I have the job and house and responsibilities, but I still feel as if college was a very recent memory.

I also have a hard time gauging the age of women now, too. We've all heard about the tribe in the Amazon that has only two numbers. When they count, it's the equivalent of "one, two, a lot." I can't determine someone's age accurately if they're older than about 30. It's like "twenty-eight, twenty-nine, thirty, seems really old." No, I'm not chasing after young hotties, but the subroutine in my brain that can determine hold old someone is, relative to me, got caught up in an infinite loop sometime back in 1996.

Oh yeah ... music. A few years ago, I lost the ability to mentally link currently popular songs with their artists. In high school, when I heard "Subdivisions" for the first time, I knew right away it was Rush. Amanda ... yup, definitely Boston. I could do that up to about 1997 or 1998; after that time. popular music was so different than what I experienced through my formative years that a disconnect became the norm. "I think that's Oleander ... or Linkin Park, I dunno." "That's Toad the Wet Sprocket ... or Shawn Mullins ... or Ben Harper ... or maybe Dave Matthews .... ahhh, #%@&!" How long will it be before I think "bah ... it all sounds like crap!"?
 

giff57

Corn Burning Fool
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5,436
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prudence said:


Where can I swim with the dolphins in Orlando?? It is the exact opposite of my personality, which I why I need to do it...
You soon may be able to do that in Iowa, Vedic City has or soon will apply for a grant to build a dolphinarium there for natural healing study.
 

yaff

Cyburbian
Messages
108
Points
6
Just wanted you all to know I am going home to give my husband (seven years younger than me and a a graduate student in public policy) a big greatful kiss. (and then take a shower to clean all this smut off of me)
BTW - we met working on a political campaign together. We were at the party's annual convention and I sat down and played him a game of chess ...
 

el Guapo

Capitalist
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5,995
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31
yaff

Chess, yeah Chess... wink, wink, nudge, nudge - bit of a goer then aren't we. Chess..yeah, that starts the bass popin' soundtrack...Chess......Oh Baby, Oh Baby take this pawn en passe...you hot black knight! Oh Oh Oh Oh castle my rook....(well you get the idea)
 

PlannerGirl

Cyburbian Plus
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6,377
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29
We are all going to hell and im drivin the bus!

Someone please help those kitties-or Dan. that seems the better answer
 

Dan

Dear Leader
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Planderella said:
How did the rednecks end up with prime lakefront property????? I assume the Gentry hasn't arrived yet to "displace" them.
Good question.

Orlando's growth, until the 1980s, was directed mostly towards the north, where most office development outside of downtown took place; east (mostly housing for middle class families) and the south, where the resorts are. West ... well, there were some subdivisions, but then development stopped not far from downtown.

What was west? In some metropolitan areas, growth is often stunted in areas past a lower income minority neighborhood; culture becomes as much of a barrier to overcome as a river. You don't hear much about the southern suburbs of Dallas, Albuquerque, or Atlanta. Same thing with the area west of Orlando. Past the Parramore ghetto, and the then-middle class subdivisions in Pine Hills a bit further out, there were orange groves. Thousands and thousands of acres of orange groves.

In the mid-to-late 1980s, there were several freezes. Grove owners need to eat, too, and the only way out was to sell the underlying land. The East-West Expressway was expanded further west. The western frontier was open.

There were two small cities tucked in the groves. I won't name names. Both cities were working class enclaves, populated by Bubbas and Bubbettes. The working class city closer to Orlando. away from the lake, got hit with development first ... mostly middle end housing. Before there was extensive commercial development, that city adopted tough design regulations. There were a few commercial areas that didn't look too great, but most of the slate was blank. The commercial corridors started to develop quite nicely, and the area attracted more high-end residential development. Single family houses. Lots of single family houses. Same thing with nearby unincorporated areas.

Meanwhile, down the road, there was some "citrus-based commercial" lining the major street of the adjacent town -- processors, some mechanics, a bit of low-end retail for the residents, and that's about it. There was a very entrenched group of good 'ol boys in power there, though. Thus, Jim Bob could come in, and he knew so-and-so, and he was representing a potential buyer of a property who wanted to rezone and slap down a really nice pre-fab quik lube. Yeah, the use is compatible with a citrus trailer yard, so ... approved. Billy Bob come in representing a potential buyer of the property next door, who wants to rezone and put up a real nice pre-fab metal building where he's going to repair diesel engines and rent out moving vans. Compatible with the quick lube ... okay, he's in. You can probably imagine what happened next. Residential development ... starter homes and below, places that the guy repairing transmissions or installing AC units in big houses being built the next town over can easily afford. Along the lake, some decent homes were built, but not as nice as what you might find in a similar setting in another Orlando suburb. Maybe once Ray became manager of the local Auto Zone, and Tammy gets established as a dental assistant, they could buy one of 'em.

West Orange County 101. I can't guarantee the accuracy of the above, but that's what I've pieced together so far on the information I've been given since I got here. Any questions?
 

Journeymouse

Cyburbian
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443
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Re: Additional Advice:

El Guapo said:
Nope, don't do it, don't offer to kill the offender for her or have a word with the rude store clerk, don't offer to solve the problem in any way, even if she asks you to.
Now that just sucks. :p
I fully expect any guy I go out with to sort rude people out if I don't get there first. I have to admit that I'm quite good at it, I just act like my dad at his teacherly best. :D
 

mike gurnee

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3,066
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Since I have been married longer than most of you have lived, it may not be prudent for me to add much. I do have a tidbit about age differences:

My 21 year old boy is in a serious relationship with a 30 something girl. When my wife found out the age difference, I was asked (instructed) to say something. I immediately yelled for my boy, asked him if the lady was 10 years older. After he sheepishly said yes, I gave him a high sign and said "way to go!" Then I told my wife that I did have that talk with him.
 

PlannerGirl

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6,377
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29
No Mastiff im trying to hit every damn one of em-the ones Dan has not already taken out.

Im a dog person i dont like cats.

they are sport for my cocker mix

*sorry to the cat folks but its just the way he was born*

Now the beagle, he...loves... everything.

Revs up the bus engine and yells "all aboard!"
 

el Guapo

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Whoa little filly!

Re: Additional Advice:
Originally posted by El Guapo
Nope, don't do it, don't offer to kill the offender for her or have a word with the rude store clerk, don't offer to solve the problem in any way, even if she asks you to.

Now that just sucks. :p
I fully expect any guy I go out with to sort rude people out if I don't get there first. I have to admit that I'm quite good at it, I just act like my dad at his teacherly best.
Don't get me wrong. I am talking about the conversation which occurs after her hard day at work or wherever. I'm not talking about the time of the actual incident. Of course you do what is right at the time. I love yelling at people and screwing with the store management after receiving shitty service. In fact few people have actually ask a store manager to step outside for a personal customer satisfaction session. I live for such opportunities. Getting escorted off of the property of a store is a badge of honour for me. Some of our biggest marital arguments have resulted from my inability to suffer the rude or slothful. I'm old and cranky and this is what I do now for fun.

All I am saying is concentrate on what she is saying when she vents. I know its sounds like an Opera/Dr. Phil kind of suggestion. I'm sorry the formula does work.

Also buy her small presents and flowers when she is being difficult. It screws with their female wiring. She says "I know I have been a real ass to my husband lately, so why did he do something nice for me?"

PS We just received BBC America on our local cable. You just gotta love that Graham Norton. Well, not literally. That would be forbidden in the Bible.
 

Cardinal

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mike gurnee said:
My 21 year old boy is in a serious relationship with a 30 something girl. When my wife found out the age difference, I was asked (instructed) to say something. I immediately yelled for my boy, asked him if the lady was 10 years older. After he sheepishly said yes, I gave him a high sign and said "way to go!" Then I told my wife that I did have that talk with him.
Fine, as long as she thinks you really did have a talk with him. Now what if she reads this post?
 

PlannerGirl

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Folks we have a winner!

"Also buy her small presents and flowers when she is being difficult. It screws with their wireing. She says "I know I have been a real ass to my husband lately, so why did he do something nice for me?"


BINGO!

Thats exactly it. If im a total witch on my broom give me some flowers and i melt-youll find yourslef with a home cooked meal and other good stuff when you get home.

This man will have a marriage that works!
 

Tranplanner

maudit anglais
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7,903
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35
Hijack
El Guapo said:

We just received BBC America on our local cable.
BBC Canada is only available on "digital cable", which sucks big time. :(

I get my BBC fix through the World Service News broadcast on PBS, or on one of the local radio stations.

End Hijack.

My fiancee is wondering what she's getting into marrying an almost-brit (1st Generation Canadian). She does not appreciate the wonders of Marmite, Monty Python, and deep-fried Mars Bars. She does, however, love the chocolate and the Lyles' Golden Syrup cakes. And she gets a huge kick out my parents' accents.
 
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El Guapo - I think your advice is possibly the most excellent relationship advice to young husbands. Can someone secretly email mine, because he hasn't figured it out yet, and in true passive agressive form, i don't want to tell him to stop trying to solve my problems, but then get mad at him when he does attempt to offer constructive advice.

i was just kidding about emailing my husband. please don't. :)
 

Tranplanner

maudit anglais
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Take an ordinary Mars Bar (you do get those in the U.S., right?), dip it in batter - and deep fry it. Serve with ice cream.

Yum!
 

PlannerGirl

Cyburbian Plus
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Thats gross

i dont like mars bars or most fried things *trying like hell to loose weight*

ill stick to my cookie dough ice cream
 

giff57

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Tranplanner said:
Take an ordinary Mars Bar (you do get those in the U.S., right?), dip it in batter - and deep fry it. Serve with ice cream.

Yum!
IMHO, they ruined the Mars bar when they chopped up the almonds. I loved them when the whole almond used to be on top......fried? prolly be good, put anything in hot grease mmm, mmm good
 

El Feo

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674
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Marmite, Monty Python, and deep-fried Mars Bars
Ugh, Marmite. If the Stamp Act hadn't pushed the American Colonists over the edge to open rebellion, Marmite eventually would've...
 

Journeymouse

Cyburbian
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443
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PlannerGirl said:
What the heck is that?
ewwwww
Pretty much seconded. Battered mars bars (y'know, like fish only with a mars bar!)
In theory, they've been banned for the high fat content, but they are still available in parts of Wales and Scotland and the North of England.

Heh heh, I'm just a bitch in training. Along with my 3 second short term memory that I've spent the last 22 years developing this helps me (at least partially) to not go home stressed or take my anger out on the wrong people. I often tend to be young and cranky. :D

El Guapo said:
All I am saying is concentrate on what she is saying when she vents. I know its sounds like an Opera/Dr. Phil kind of suggestion.
Actually, that's very sweet and I didn't mean to dis that part of the post. I was just happen to prefer worthwhile complaining to the venting variety, if you see what I mean. Sorry.

Also buy her small presents and flowers when she is being difficult. It screws with their female wiring. She says "I know I have been a real ass to my husband lately, so why did he do something nice for me?"
I'm with Plannergirl on this - this response gets you spoilt absolutely rotten - not to mention laid...

PS We just received BBC America on our local cable. You just gotta love that Graham Norton. Well, not literally. That would be forbidden in the Bible.
And in my case, I'm not his type. He can be funny but he tends to be a bit bitchy for my tastes.
 
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Dan

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Re: Whoa little filly!

El Guapo said:
PS We just received BBC America on our local cable. You just gotta love that Graham Norton. Well, not literally. That would be forbidden in the Bible.
I've had BBC America for quite a while. Wonderful. Aside from the the BBC, PBS and some cable networks will broadcast the poccasional British program, although we don't see probably more than 20% of what is produced in the country.

Americans often think that the typical Brit is watching the telly in a dark bookshelf-lined den that resembles a room from a prestigous private club, slipping through channel after channel of operas, theatre, serious news about serious world events (i.e. turnip shortages in Paraguay, grocery bagger's strike in France, etc), excruiatingly difficult quiz showa where the grand prize is £25, and "M25 Traffic Camera Highlights"). I think our view of UKoGBaNI television programming is similar to that of foreign films -- we only import the best that's offered, so we don't get the opportunity to see the dreck, i.e. "Britan's Funniest Football Riots," "16th Annual Humberlandfordshire Shetland Sheepdog Herding Trials," or ""Oi! Oi! Oi!"
 

Cardinal

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PBS in Wisconsin has been running a show called "Eagle's Nest" to fill in short gaps between programming. They set up a camera over an eagle's nest in the north part of the state. The broadcasts are live. We have watched in rapt(or) attention as the parents sat on the eggs, the eaglets hatched, the parents fed, and the young bird took his first flight. I have to admit, it has been interesting - much better than commercials.
 
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