So, roughly two-and-a-half months later - my father did work through his insurance to hire a service that provides in-home care for my mother for four hours in the morning on a daily basis (and her caretaker is a wonderful woman - I guess you have to be in that line of work). But, it's just not enough. Without getting in any details, talking with my father last night was the proverbial final straw. I talked to my sister first thing this morning, and we're going to regroup on Sunday to figure out the timing of everything, but she went ahead and put down a deposit on a room at the care facility we want our mother to be in.Thanks, all.
The talk went better than expected. I do not think that I was saying anything new to the old man, but my voice is a bit more, um, penetrating than my sister's or any of my aunts/uncles. Also, I'm a hell of a lot more blunt when irritated, With that said, I don't have much faith in the old man actually doing everything needs to be done to get help. However, their wonderful neighbors have mobilized to provide some support with meals in the short term, and by late in the day on Sunday I was hearing some things that seemed to indicate that at least part of what I talked to him about was sinking in.
Having to be the adult to your parents fucking sucks, by the way.