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The NEVERENDING aging parents caretaking thread

Bubba

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4,363
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24
Looks like we'll finally have my parents house ready to go on the market by the end of March - selling it "as is" (it's in really good shape overall, despite some dated interior areas - not a huge risk at all for potential buyers). Hoping for a fairly quick sale...it's probably going to be a race against the clock to get to the closing table before my mother passes on...
 

Veloise

Cyburbian
Messages
5,444
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25
Looks like we'll finally have my parents house ready to go on the market by the end of March - selling it "as is" (it's in really good shape overall, despite some dated interior areas - not a huge risk at all for potential buyers). Hoping for a fairly quick sale...it's probably going to be a race against the clock to get to the closing table before my mother passes on...
Get a POA document now. Towards the end we tried to have some documents signed, and pops couldn't see where the line was. You don't want to pressure your lookers/buyers or add drama to an agent relationship.
 

Bubba

Cyburbian
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4,363
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24
Get a POA document now. Towards the end we tried to have some documents signed, and pops couldn't see where the line was. You don't want to pressure your lookers/buyers or add drama to an agent relationship.
My sister (an attorney) locked that down a while ago. Mom has been well beyond the point of being able to sign (or understand) anything for months.
 

RandomPlanner

Cyburbian
Messages
1,456
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21
When my FIL passed away, we had what we called "the reaping". Each kid got to pick something in the house that they wanted, one at a time, starting the first round with the oldest. Then second round, the second oldest started, and so on. Surprisingly it only lasted maybe 5 rounds total with the last round being spouses and grands allowed to pick. We had planned on hiring an estate sale company, then thought about running the estate sale ourselves. But with the family spread out all over the world, we decided to just send it all to auction so we could put the house up for sale quickly.

While I hadn't been in the family long, I thought it went fairly smoothly. Perhaps that's because my FIL was an @$$ so there wasn't a lot of sentimental attachment.
 

mendelman

Unfrozen Caveman Planner
Moderator
Messages
12,120
Points
35
While I hadn't been in the family long, I thought it went fairly smoothly. Perhaps that's because my FIL was an @$$ so there wasn't a lot of sentimental attachment.
Hah.

I hear this alot.

He solved your guys' problem for you.

We will likely have to deal with my FIL and MIL estates before my Father's. It'll be interesting to deal with especially when we get to my MIL's estate, which has alot of the family photos and sentimental tchotchkes and a strained/bad relationship with my SIL who is the only sibling nearby.

Really, the family photos are the thing we're worried about as my wife is the primary family tree researcher. Even then, we're trying to at least scan as many as possible now.
 
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DVD

Cyburbian
Messages
13,013
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30
I consider myself lucky. My family is small, my wife's family is small. Pretty much all her family is already gone. Only her aunt and brother remain. None of which is something we have to deal with other than the sadness. My family is down to my mom and my brother - dad's out of the picture since I was 16. I suppose it will be hard to figure out what to do with mom's stuff, but I assume my brother and I will agree on selling the house. I just don't know if he has any personal attachments to any of the stuff. Maybe I'm selfish, I just want stuff like the hope chest and silver to pass on to my kids. My brother has no kids.
 

Bubba

Cyburbian
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4,363
Points
24
Looks like we'll finally have my parents house ready to go on the market by the end of March - selling it "as is" (it's in really good shape overall, despite some dated interior areas - not a huge risk at all for potential buyers). Hoping for a fairly quick sale...it's probably going to be a race against the clock to get to the closing table before my mother passes on...
...and she passed away last night. Honestly, it's a relief at this point - Alzheimer's just fucking sucks.
 

Gedunker

Moderating
Moderator
Messages
10,876
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31
Sorry for your loss Bubba. Alzheimer's is frightening - my SIL's mom passed from it in December and her mom hadnn't had any memory of her family for more than a decade. Just nasty.
 

Salmissra

Cyburbian
Messages
5,434
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25
Sorry for your loss, Bubba. You're right, Alzheimer's does suck.

It took a long time for my Grandmother to succumb, and it was hard watching the woman wither away. I understand your feelings right now.
 

Hawkeye66

Cyburbian
Messages
382
Points
12
My mother is suffering from some form of Dementia. My step Dad and her don't seem to want to get a more specific diagnosis. He takes care of her, so I am not worried about that day to day. Its just a helpless feeling to watch your mother, who has a PHD in English Education, go through this. It has happened over a period of about 5 years. As long as my step dad is in decent health, its not a day to day care issue. We used to have long conversations, now she is just confused. Its like I lost her, but she is still here. Her parents died from heart attacks in their 70's. I used to think that heart disease had robbed them of life too soon, now I think they were the lucky ones.
 
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