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The NEVERENDING Dating Thread

AG74683

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Yesterday was her birthday so I sent her a text and we talked a bit. It's the first time I've talked to her in just about a month.

I asked if maybe she wanted to get lunch this week, but she turned it down. They've had some turnover and she's working like 3 jobs so she is super stressed and just said she didn't feel like doing lunch most of the time. I floated the idea of just trying to be friends, but she seems a little apprehensive. I can't make sense of her texts when she gets kind of emotional. She said "doing friend stuff when you want more than that with that person is not something easy". I think maybe she's been in a similar situation, just on the other side, IE she was me in her past scenario (guy didn't want anything more, she did). I dunno, we will see. I'm fine with just being friends. I've thought a lot about it and think that we really just skipped the friends part and went straight to a relationship. I know little about her, and honestly think we didn't have a ton in common to begin with.

I think we were just both so lonely that we launched into whatever we found that "fit", even if the fit wasn't right. Who knows, maybe something will come out of the friendship, maybe not, I'm just glad to be talking to her again.
 

Whose Yur Planner

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Yesterday was her birthday so I sent her a text and we talked a bit. It's the first time I've talked to her in just about a month.

I asked if maybe she wanted to get lunch this week, but she turned it down. They've had some turnover and she's working like 3 jobs so she is super stressed and just said she didn't feel like doing lunch most of the time. I floated the idea of just trying to be friends, but she seems a little apprehensive. I can't make sense of her texts when she gets kind of emotional. She said "doing friend stuff when you want more than that with that person is not something easy". I think maybe she's been in a similar situation, just on the other side, IE she was me in her past scenario (guy didn't want anything more, she did). I dunno, we will see. I'm fine with just being friends. I've thought a lot about it and think that we really just skipped the friends part and went straight to a relationship. I know little about her, and honestly think we didn't have a ton in common to begin with.

I think we were just both so lonely that we launched into whatever we found that "fit", even if the fit wasn't right. Who knows, maybe something will come out of the friendship, maybe not, I'm just glad to be talking to her again.
I know this is going to cause me some flak. This is why I try to keep friends and love interest separate. To me they are a separate set of emotions. Should you like and have things in common with your girlfriend, absolutely. However, she's not your buddy. Plus, there is the physical element with your girlfriend that you shouldn't have with a friend.
 

AG74683

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Against everyone's advice, I've still been extremely hung up on this whole thing, and I think I finally figured it out. I think it comes down to a racial thing. She is Hispanic, I am not. She told me several times there are definite cultural differences, and expressed to a girl who works with us now that she would never date a white person because it would just be too difficult several years ago. Hell, she dated a guy from Brazil for a while several years ago, and told her it couldn't be serious ever because of that cultural difference. Of course, I shrugged it off because I don't understand these cultural differences because I've never been exposed to it (IE I'm selfish) and just said we'd work through it.

The timeline of the demise of the relationship matches perfectly. Everything was great until we made it an official thing and posted it on Facebook. Within two weeks we were at the "I need a break stage". She told me the day after the Facebook thing that there was a big blowup at her dad's birthday party because he got really upset about the relationship and refused to talk to her and that her family claimed she "ruined the party". I think she really tried hard to work through it, but just couldn't do it. I don't think she wanted to tell me this was the reason, because it makes her and her family look horrible, so she took all the blame. She was faced with a decision to choose me, or be constantly under pressure from her family over it.

Maybe I'm just making reasons where there are none, but this really fits both what she's told other people over the years, and how the relationship soured immediately. This also explains her reluctance to be friends, simply because she wants more but can't do it, and can't be with me in that way. At the end of the day, I went headlong into this relationship with no regard to what issues it would cause with her family. Granted, she never really stressed to me how difficult it would be, but I should have taken the hint and tried to work harder on that part before we made a big deal out of it.
 

Maister

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Against everyone's advice, I've still been extremely hung up on this whole thing, and I think I finally figured it out. I think it comes down to a racial thing. She is Hispanic, I am not. She told me several times there are definite cultural differences, and expressed to a girl who works with us now that she would never date a white person because it would just be too difficult several years ago. Hell, she dated a guy from Brazil for a while several years ago, and told her it couldn't be serious ever because of that cultural difference. Of course, I shrugged it off because I don't understand these cultural differences because I've never been exposed to it (IE I'm selfish) and just said we'd work through it.

The timeline of the demise of the relationship matches perfectly. Everything was great until we made it an official thing and posted it on Facebook. Within two weeks we were at the "I need a break stage". She told me the day after the Facebook thing that there was a big blowup at her dad's birthday party because he got really upset about the relationship and refused to talk to her and that her family claimed she "ruined the party". I think she really tried hard to work through it, but just couldn't do it. I don't think she wanted to tell me this was the reason, because it makes her and her family look horrible, so she took all the blame. She was faced with a decision to choose me, or be constantly under pressure from her family over it.

Maybe I'm just making reasons where there are none, but this really fits both what she's told other people over the years, and how the relationship soured immediately. This also explains her reluctance to be friends, simply because she wants more but can't do it, and can't be with me in that way. At the end of the day, I went headlong into this relationship with no regard to what issues it would cause with her family. Granted, she never really stressed to me how difficult it would be, but I should have taken the hint and tried to work harder on that part before we made a big deal out of it.
Raf, you want to chime in with any insights on the cultural divide here?
 

mendelman

Unfrozen Caveman Planner
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Against everyone's advice, I've still been extremely hung up on this whole thing, and I think I finally figured it out. I think it comes down to a racial thing. She is Hispanic, I am not. She told me several times there are definite cultural differences, and expressed to a girl who works with us now that she would never date a white person because it would just be too difficult several years ago. Hell, she dated a guy from Brazil for a while several years ago, and told her it couldn't be serious ever because of that cultural difference. Of course, I shrugged it off because I don't understand these cultural differences because I've never been exposed to it (IE I'm selfish) and just said we'd work through it.

The timeline of the demise of the relationship matches perfectly. Everything was great until we made it an official thing and posted it on Facebook. Within two weeks we were at the "I need a break stage". She told me the day after the Facebook thing that there was a big blowup at her dad's birthday party because he got really upset about the relationship and refused to talk to her and that her family claimed she "ruined the party". I think she really tried hard to work through it, but just couldn't do it. I don't think she wanted to tell me this was the reason, because it makes her and her family look horrible, so she took all the blame. She was faced with a decision to choose me, or be constantly under pressure from her family over it.

Maybe I'm just making reasons where there are none, but this really fits both what she's told other people over the years, and how the relationship soured immediately. This also explains her reluctance to be friends, simply because she wants more but can't do it, and can't be with me in that way. At the end of the day, I went headlong into this relationship with no regard to what issues it would cause with her family. Granted, she never really stressed to me how difficult it would be, but I should have taken the hint and tried to work harder on that part before we made a big deal out of it.
Dude.

This is harsh, but bullet dodged.

That kind of family drama would have made your life miserable (much worse that it already has).

You don't need her if her family was more important to her than you.

My in-laws are emotionally difficult (at best), but my wife is/was over their bull, so our 17 years together has worked well.
 

Whose Yur Planner

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I've been hesitant about posting in this thread again. First, a disclaimer, I've cross cultural and cross race dated. I've had to overcome language barriers. Yes the differences are a pain and take some getting used to. However, if both parties are committed to over coming the difference, they will. It boils down to what is more important. Plus all long term couples learn to overcome the differences. Again, it depends on what you are focusing and what is more important.
 

kjel

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I've been hesitant about posting in this thread again. First, a disclaimer, I've cross cultural and cross race dated. I've had to overcome language barriers. Yes the differences are a pain and take some getting used to. However, if both parties are committed to over coming the difference, they will. It boils down to what is more important. Plus all long term couples learn to overcome the differences. Again, it depends on what you are focusing and what is more important.
I am going to give this a +2. My first husband was from the Middle East and my current husband is from the Dominican Republic. If you truly are invested in a relationship and love someone you figure out a way to bridge the differences whether they be cultural, religious, racial, etc.

Again, I think you need to let it go and move on. Perhaps seek some therapy to figure out as to why you cannot.
 

Whose Yur Planner

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I am going to give this a +2. My first husband was from the Middle East and my current husband is from the Dominican Republic. If you truly are invested in a relationship and love someone you figure out a way to bridge the differences whether they be cultural, religious, racial, etc.

Again, I think you need to let it go and move on. Perhaps seek some therapy to figure out as to why you cannot.
Not to pile on and make AG feel worse, but there are plenty of biracial and bicultural couples out there. Heavens, my ex was from the Deep South and I was from the Midwest. We had plenty of cultural and some language barriers to overcome and we were together for seven years.
 

AG74683

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Not to pile on and make AG feel worse, but there are plenty of biracial and bicultural couples out there.
Yeah but that generally takes strong people, and she isn't, at least not with things like this. I am 100% certain this was the reason. She brought up the cultural issue at least twice while we were together. She wouldn't even date another Hispanic guy someone tried to set her up with because his last name wasn't "appropriate" and her family wouldn't approve. Once I brought this up to people who know of the situation, everyone agreed that this fit the bill perfectly, and matches things she's said or done in the past.

She was incredibly hesitant to put the relationship on Facebook, and I remember specifically her mentioning that her parents didn't know about us yet and how she was concerned about how they'd react. My moms first question when I told her about the girl was "is she legal?". Both my parents had issues with it too, but never really said much. My sister dated a Hispanic person for a while too, and when I brought this up as a potential reason, she said that she always believed that's the reason why her relationship ended suddenly too.
 
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Whose Yur Planner

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Yeah but that generally takes strong people, and she isn't, at least not with things like this. I am 100% certain this was the reason. She brought up the cultural issue at least twice while we were together. She wouldn't even date another Hispanic guy someone tried to set her up with because his last name wasn't "appropriate" and her family wouldn't approve. Once I brought this up to people who know of the situation, everyone agreed that this fit the bill perfectly, and matches things she's said or done in the past.

She was incredibly hesitant to put the relationship on Facebook, and I remember specifically her mentioning that her parents didn't know about us yet and how she was concerned about how they'd react. My moms first question when I told her about the girl was "is she legal?". Both my parents had issues with it too, but never really said much. My sister dated a Hispanic person for a while too, and when I brought this up as a potential reason, she said that she always believed that's the reason why her relationship ended suddenly too.
It sounds like both families had issues with it then. I get that to a degree. I come from a mixed religious background (Catholic/Protestant). 50+ years ago, that was a big deal and my mom converted from Catholic to Protestant and their was still issues with both sets of grandparents.
 

arcplans

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If you truly are invested in a relationship and love someone you figure out a way to bridge the differences whether they be cultural, religious, racial, etc.
This. All this. My first wife, we both had trouble with our cultural differences. Ultimately, it was partially why we broke up, but not all. My folks never accepted her, hence their sense of "relief" when I told them I was getting a divorce. It's not that my parents were "anti-" non persons other than salvadoreno decent, they should figured if I settled down, that person should able to meld with their culture norms. My ex-wife never could, my current girlfriend can. Full disclosure, they are both white.

She was incredibly hesitant to put the relationship on Facebook, and I remember specifically her mentioning that her parents didn't know about us yet and how she was concerned about how they'd react. My moms first question when I told her about the girl was "is she legal?". Both my parents had issues with it too, but never really said much. My sister dated a Hispanic person for a while too, and when I brought this up as a potential reason, she said that she always believed that's the reason why her relationship ended suddenly too.
So each "hispanic" culture is different. My folks wanted to make sure that whomever I dated was from the "proper class". Case in point, my HS sweetheart, 100% salvaderno, was not of the proper educated "middle class and above". While she could "take care of me" in the typical latina wife manner (cooking, cleaning, yanno being the domestic slave) which is great and all, they couldn't get past that her parents and family were scraping by in life, nor their daughter, with no hopes of college, to be dating their "prize son". My ex-wife came from a mormon family and they deemed her to not be worthy of me because she wasn't college educated, and viewed her domestic habits as lazy and she just wanted to spend money that wasn't earned by her. They were about 90% right on her. My current gf, my parents adore. Hard working, catholic, college educated, matriarch of the house, upbringing of middle class, great family core and strong family values in terms of taking care of not just immediate, but extended family. It's the happiest and easiest relationship I have been in.

Each culture is different. TBH i couldn't give a rip of what my folks thought of. I have dated blacks, asians, white, and hispanics. A person is a person, and as you get to know them, you introduce them to the culture. Highly educated hispanics understand this. Unfortunately, our lower echelon brethren quite haven't got there. Ultimately AG, don't use this as an excuse. The "culture differences" didn't do in my ex-wife and I. We, as individual persons did. If you are more than willing to overcome that for a person you love, you will do it. Trust me, I have had to have many conversations with the Dutch Queen (my gf) about white privilege, etc, which luckily she gets since she works with migrant farm worker's children.

AG, just let go. If she didn't want to put the work in now because "you just don't understand the culture", it's fucking bullshit excuse, and would one of many excuse because of shortcomings. Ulimtely you want your partner to say "you know, we may have culture differences, but if you are open minded, I can be too and we can do this together".
 
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kjel

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So each "hispanic" culture is different. My folks wanted to make sure that whomever I dated was from the "proper class". Case in point, my HS sweetheart, 100% salvaderno, was not of the proper educated "middle class and above". While she could "take care of me" in the typical latina wife manner (cooking, cleaning, yanno being the domestic slave) which is great and all, they couldn't get past that her parents and family were scraping by in life, nor their daughter, with no hopes of college, to be dating their "prize son". My ex-wife came from a mormon family and they deemed her to not be worthy of me because she wasn't college educated, and viewed her domestic habits as lazy and she just wanted to spend money that wasn't earned by her. They were about 90% right on her. My current gf, my parents adore. Hard working, catholic, college educated, matriarch of the house, upbringing of middle class, great family core and strong family values in terms of taking care of not just immediate, but extended family. It's the happiest and easiest relationship I have been in.

Each culture is different. TBH i couldn't give a rip of what my folks thought of. I have dated blacks, asians, white, and hispanics. A person is a person, and as you get to know them, you introduce them to the culture. Highly educated hispanics understand this. Unfortunately, our lower echelon brethren quite haven't got there. Ultimately AG, don't use this as an excuse. The "culture differences" didn't do in my ex-wife and I. We, as individual persons did. If you are more than willing to overcome that for a person you love, you will do it. Trust me, I have had to have many conversations with the Dutch Queen (my gf) about white privilege, etc, which luckily she gets since she works with migrant farm worker's children.
I am not exactly sure who my husband dated when he was younger, although he did live with one woman and her two kids for 5 years before immigrating to the US but they were never married. His family is solidly middle class but come from a humble background and earned every last bit of comfort they have and are lovely people. I met his father first because he was visiting a cousin in the US so we went to see him in Boston and that trip was a lot of fun. He reported back to his wife that I seemed very nice and even spoke decent Spanish which was very surprising to all of them. His mother I didn't meet until the following year after our daughter was born but she just wanted to know if I was "settled" and could run a household. When I visited them for the first time in the Dominican Republic his mom was super nervous about meeting me, staying in their house in the countryside, the food, the language, etc. There was truly nothing to worry from my end having been around the world staying in all kinds of accommodations. His mom hated the woman he had lived with in the DR and said she was low class so I was an improvement. :-c
 

DVD

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Not a cultural thing, but my mom hated the wife when we first met. Lot's of details, but I think my mom thought poorly of my general choice in women and didn't want to really know the wife. Plus my wife can be kind of pushy. In the end I just stopped talking to mom for a while because every conversation was about my relationship (mine not hers). After a few years mom got over it. Wife hasn't entirely, but she plays nice. I think mom figured out that after 15 years this marriage works for me (last one did not). Also, I have the grandkids (my brother has no kids).
 

JNA

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By not dating, not having a wife or S.O. I have saved myself $99 plus $7.50 shipping and service according to junk mail from Danbury Mint for a "Love Pendant". ;) :p
 

gtpeach

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By not dating, not having a wife or S.O. I have saved myself $99 plus $7.50 shipping and service according to junk mail from Danbury Mint for a "Love Pendant". ;) :p
Score!


So now that me and CCG are happily married, we've decided everyone else we know needs to be, too. (TOTALLY KIDDING!) But I do have a really good friend that would like to be married, and his brother is a really great guy, so we reached out to both of them and they're open to being set up. They are both stellar, wonderful, high quality people, and all the important boxes are checked. But it's so hard to tell if they'll actually click or not.

Have any of y'all ever played matchmaker? How'd it work out?
 

Hink

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Score!


So now that me and CCG are happily married, we've decided everyone else we know needs to be, too. (TOTALLY KIDDING!) But I do have a really good friend that would like to be married, and his brother is a really great guy, so we reached out to both of them and they're open to being set up. They are both stellar, wonderful, high quality people, and all the important boxes are checked. But it's so hard to tell if they'll actually click or not.

Have any of y'all ever played matchmaker? How'd it work out?
We setup one of my wife's best friends to a guy we knew after she had an ugly divorce. They both had gone through a lot of things in their previous marriage, both liked the same sports, etc. It worked out, they are married, have a kid, and are happy.

I have a number of other stories that didn't end up working. Mostly after a date or two. There isn't really any harm in trying. If they don't like each other, just don't push it. Let them make the choice and support them both when it doesn't work.
 

Whose Yur Planner

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Score!


So now that me and CCG are happily married, we've decided everyone else we know needs to be, too. (TOTALLY KIDDING!) But I do have a really good friend that would like to be married, and his brother is a really great guy, so we reached out to both of them and they're open to being set up. They are both stellar, wonderful, high quality people, and all the important boxes are checked. But it's so hard to tell if they'll actually click or not.

Have any of y'all ever played matchmaker? How'd it work out?
Matchmaker, matchmaker, makes me a match, find me a find, catch me a catch.
 

DVD

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Never tried to set anyone up, but I've had people try to set me up. My attitude at the time was please stop trying and do you even know me. Why would you think she would be my type? Granted, in many cases the woman felt the same way.
 

gtpeach

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Never tried to set anyone up, but I've had people try to set me up. My attitude at the time was please stop trying and do you even know me. Why would you think she would be my type? Granted, in many cases the woman felt the same way.
Yes. I approached it very delicately. CCG thought it was a good idea, but made me send the email to his brother (I copied CCG on it and made sure that his brother knew that he also thought it was a good idea). I just asked him if he was open to being introduced and described my friend to him - he remembered seeing her at our reception, so he at least knew she what she looked like before he agreed. He was cool with it. I already knew she would be open to it, but I confirmed with her before I even approached him. Plus, we're inviting them up for wine tasting which will take the edge off of any awkwardness!
 

Gedunker

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If you're having technical issues, let me know, 'kay?
I could be wrong, but I think WYP is referencing his dislike of reading, and therefore posting, in the political discussion thread, not an actual technical glitch in posting.
 

Whose Yur Planner

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I could be wrong, but I think WYP is referencing his dislike of reading, and therefore posting, in the political discussion thread, not an actual technical glitch in posting.
I can't post anything political on company time. Since I work in local government, I try to keep political stuff off of social media in general. Basically, I keep my views to myself or trusted friends and family.

I posted what I did here because that is literarily what I did. I went to the gfs place and had a dinner she prepared. I also spent time with her. I got my first ever manicure, thanks to her. I think it was also an exercise in building trust in the relationship. If that was her goal, she succeeded.

In keeping with the topic, I need to get my act together and come up with a gift and something to do for St. V's day. I am badly out of practice in this area.
 
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Whose Yur Planner

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I have retired from online dating. I either meet someone the old fashioned way or not at all. The Xer in me longs for the 80s and 90s.
Yeah, as a fellow Exer, online dating sucks. You never know what's real. Plus, unless they are local, somebody is going to have to move or work from home, if the relationship gets serious. Long distance relationships rarely last and present a plethora of problems. It's one of the things that killed the relationship with the ex. Nothing beats face-to-face contact. Nothing replaces the cues you get from body language, voice, etc. As a poet and writer, it's too easy to hide behind words.
 

Hawkeye66

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Yeah, as a fellow Exer, online dating sucks. You never know what's real. Plus, unless they are local, somebody is going to have to move or work from home, if the relationship gets serious. Long distance relationships rarely last and present a plethora of problems. It's one of the things that killed the relationship with the ex. Nothing beats face-to-face contact. Nothing replaces the cues you get from body language, voice, etc. As a poet and writer, it's too easy to hide behind words.
I recently met someone on POF. She lives around 90 minutes from me. We did a bunch of texting and even talked on the phone for several hours. We were supposed to meet tonight, but Iowa bein Iowa we are having 6" of snow so we had to cancel. Because of circumstances I would not actually get to meet her for 3 more weeks so I said I don't want to chat anymore until me meet. She did not like that, and long story short, that was the end of it. So I am not doing that again. Will have to live with the limitations of a small town
 

Whose Yur Planner

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I recently met someone on POF. She lives around 90 minutes from me. We did a bunch of texting and even talked on the phone for several hours. We were supposed to meet tonight, but Iowa bein Iowa we are having 6" of snow so we had to cancel. Because of circumstances I would not actually get to meet her for 3 more weeks so I said I don't want to chat anymore until me meet. She did not like that, and long story short, that was the end of it. So I am not doing that again. Will have to live with the limitations of a small town
Yeah, that does suck. Hang in there
 

AG74683

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Yeah, as a fellow Exer, online dating sucks.
Online dating is completely stacked against men. Unless you're Zac Efron or some other male Adonis, you're screwed. My ex basically replaced me within 2 months using Bumble. I'd been on that site for like a freaking YEAR and haven't gotten shit. I'm not an ugly dude, I'm about average, but it just doesn't work.

I recently met someone on POF.
And POF is easily the worst of the bunch. I actually PAID for a POF subscription. It's 99% bots, and POF doesn't filter them out fast enough so they can last on the site for hours, even days, before they disappear.

TBH, dating in general is a scam. I'm done with it. If I meet someone, fine, if I don't, fine. Who cares? I'm not actively searching anymore, there's no point.
 

JNA

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. I'm done with it. If I meet someone, fine, if I don't, fine. Who cares? I'm not actively searching anymore, there's no point.
That is where I am too.

Anyway why would some women want a short, balding, almost 62 yr old, has some issues, employed planner ?
 

Hawkeye66

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Online dating is completely stacked against men. Unless you're Zac Efron or some other male Adonis, you're screwed. My ex basically replaced me within 2 months using Bumble. I'd been on that site for like a freaking YEAR and haven't gotten shit. I'm not an ugly dude, I'm about average, but it just doesn't work.



And POF is easily the worst of the bunch. I actually PAID for a POF subscription. It's 99% bots, and POF doesn't filter them out fast enough so they can last on the site for hours, even days, before they disappear.

TBH, dating in general is a scam. I'm done with it. If I meet someone, fine, if I don't, fine. Who cares? I'm not actively searching anymore, there's no point.
I dont think it works for most women either to be fair. For different reasons. I would say that 20% of the women are getting 80% of the messages. I think its just real hard to get a feel for someone in online dating. I wish they had those speed dating things in my area. 10 minutes of face to face talk would tell me a whole lot. I have some female friends I am going to ask for help, use my actual network of people and see if they know someone. It can't be any worse.
 

Veloise

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All y'all might want to try Match.com; I know of two couples for whom it worked.

One couple just got married last summer -- they met on Match. At the time they lived 45 minutes apart.

Another golden age couple, both widowed, met there.
"We also found a couple more areas where we match. We both love doing crossword puzzles, which I didn't know. He's been quite competitive about it with me in a fun way since I've been doing them all along & am pretty quick, but he got away from doing them over the past three years since losing his wife. He enjoyed doing them again. In chatting today, we discovered that we both love words & writing (he's a sensitive poet) & we both have a background in journalism. We both enjoyed talking, visiting, sharing about our families, talking about pretty much anything. He feels like a comfortable old friend. I can't believe match.com worked this way."

Special interests: I know a couple who met through J-date. He was in Chicago, she's in Grand Rapids.
 

AG74683

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^^^^^

Match has one of the most atrocious websites and mobile apps I've run across. I wouldn't pay a dime to that company.
 

gtpeach

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Points
14
I dont think it works for most women either to be fair. For different reasons. I would say that 20% of the women are getting 80% of the messages. I think its just real hard to get a feel for someone in online dating. I wish they had those speed dating things in my area. 10 minutes of face to face talk would tell me a whole lot. I have some female friends I am going to ask for help, use my actual network of people and see if they know someone. It can't be any worse.
I'd suggest this, too. I set a friend up with CCG's brother. I don't think it went anywhere ('cause I refuse to press the issue with either of them), but they're both quality people that had the essentials in common and we at least all had fun hanging out together for an afternoon. Check with your married male friends, too - their wives may have some good friends that would be open to being set up.
 

Whose Yur Planner

Cyburbian
Messages
10,241
Points
31
All this reminds of an "ahem" interesting soul. It was purely online. I kept at it simply because of the train wreck aspect of it all. She would send me stuff in messages I severely doubt she would say to me face-to-face.:oops: This was while I was in church.

In the cold comfort for change category, I'd forgotten how expensive Singles Awareness/Valentines Day is. :oops::rolleyes:
 
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Hawkeye66

Cyburbian
Messages
402
Points
13
All y'all might want to try Match.com; I know of two couples for whom it worked.

One couple just got married last summer -- they met on Match. At the time they lived 45 minutes apart.

Another golden age couple, both widowed, met there.
"We also found a couple more areas where we match. We both love doing crossword puzzles, which I didn't know. He's been quite competitive about it with me in a fun way since I've been doing them all along & am pretty quick, but he got away from doing them over the past three years since losing his wife. He enjoyed doing them again. In chatting today, we discovered that we both love words & writing (he's a sensitive poet) & we both have a background in journalism. We both enjoyed talking, visiting, sharing about our families, talking about pretty much anything. He feels like a comfortable old friend. I can't believe match.com worked this way."

Special interests: I know a couple who met through J-date. He was in Chicago, she's in Grand Rapids.
I tried Match for 3 months. They do at least filter out bots and fakes and the quality of people there was generally better. However I have the same problem; I get perhaps a 5-10% response rate and never got a real date out of it.

I have often wondered who I may be missing out on because I didn't like their 2 dimensional picture on a website. I also feel that I do a lot better with someone in person. I had one woman who I met online tell me that "You are better looking in person". Lol.
 

arcplans

As Featured in "High Times"
Messages
6,376
Points
25
My fiance and I met on OKCupid and two friends who just got married met on POF but we joke that we are outliers.
My GF and I also met on OkCupid. She has so far survived my mom's month long stay so I guess she is a keeper at this point:shrug:.

Out of the sites I tried, I actually got the most dates out of coffee meets bagel. To boot, they were all quality ladies.
 

Whose Yur Planner

Cyburbian
Messages
10,241
Points
31
I tried Match for 3 months. They do at least filter out bots and fakes and the quality of people there was generally better. However I have the same problem; I get perhaps a 5-10% response rate and never got a real date out of it.

I have often wondered who I may be missing out on because I didn't like their 2 dimensional picture on a website. I also feel that I do a lot better with someone in person. I had one woman who I met online tell me that "You are better looking in person". Lol.
I tried Christian Mingle with decidedly mixed results. About a year ago, the gf and I took a break. I met a local on POF and we chatted. She kept dragging her feet about meeting. The gf decided the break was long enough- a whole week or two-and decided to get back together.

Once I was on pain meds for a torn muscle in my back. A contact with POF decided she wanted to meet up. I was feeling no pain and was very relaxed, so I decided what the heck. We had an interesting 2-3 hour date. She never called me back.:roflmao::ha:o_O
 
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Hawkeye66

Cyburbian
Messages
402
Points
13
I am fine being single. I was with someone for 20 years, married for 16 of them. It took me a while to be OK with being on my own again, but once I adjusted I am good with it. I like my me time. I am not going to rush into anything. It has to be the right person. I am going to be discerning and not settle.
 

DVD

Cyburbian
Messages
13,221
Points
33
You all make me glad I met my wife the old fashioned way. In a bar where my friends dared me to pick up on the hot chicks after I already had a pitcher of beer. I didn't have the best wing man, but he came in just in time before I lost altitude and crashed.
 
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