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The NEVERENDING Dating Thread

Dan

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My fiance and I met on OKCupid and two friends who just got married met on POF but we joke that we are outliers.
I met my wife on match.com! One of the success stories. :)

I never had any issues with fake profiles. There was a short spell when a lot of Russian scammers were contacting me, but Match put an end to that fairly quickly.

Planit -- the article is describing relationship scams, which is something completely different than how 99.9% of people use regular online dating site or app. The scammers are trolling the bottom of the dating pool, taking advantage of people who are extremely unattractive, have a lot of red flags, or that otherwise receive little attention from the opposite/appropriate sex. The victims of romance scams are usually so desperate for a connection, and so naive, they want to believe there's a Navy Seal on a secret mission in Nigeria at the other end who hasn't been paid in months and needs those iTunes cards to survive, even when their friends, family, and online research tells them otherwise.
 
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AG74683

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I met my wife on match.com! One of the success stories. I never had any issues with fake profiles There was a short spell when a lot of Russian scammers were contacting me, but Match put an end to that fairly quickly.
Did you pay for the subscription? I just wasn't keen on how clunky their web page was and how awful the mobile app turned out to be.
 

Dan

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Did you pay for the subscription? I just wasn't keen on how clunky their web page was and how awful the mobile app turned out to be.
Nope! I signed up years ago, when it was free. Match grandfathered the free accounts when they went to a paid subscription model.

Really, folks, Match.com is legit. I don't know if Courtney found her nice guy, but it's not a scam.
 

Whose Yur Planner

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I met the gf the old fashioned way, at a summer Bible study at church. She corned me at church and turned on the charm and intelligence. How ever so ill advised, church dating does work.
 

Whose Yur Planner

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As ursus is known to say, "This is a family website, lay off the corning people talk."

:)
Cornering, my bad

As for the Catholic thing, I don't know enough about the social/dating issues in the church to comment. Evidently back in the early 60's it must not have. My mom married a Protestant. LP would know about Catholic dating.
 

Dan

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As for the Catholic thing, I don't know enough about the social/dating issues in the church to comment. Evidently back in the early 60's it must not have. My mom married a Protestant. LP would know about Catholic dating.
My grandparents on my Mom's side met and got married in the 1920s. She was Lutheran; he was Catholic. It was scandalous for the time. My family tree looks like an interfaith convention -- Conservative and Orthodox Jewish, ELCA and MS Lutheran, Roman Catholic, Seventh Day Adventist, and some Presbyterians if you go back far enough.

When I was in my teens and early 20s, in high school and college, people still seemed very concerned about dating within their faith and ethnciity. The first girl I ever asked out, back in 8th grade, turned me down. Why? I just got a simple "no", but mutual friends told me it was because her parents wouldn't let her go out with any boys who wasn't Catholic and Italian. The rejection really hit me hard -- I don't think I asked another girl out on a date for another two or three years. Anyhow, out of curiosity, I checked her out on Facebook, and she's married. To an Italian guy, of course.

Now that we're several generations away from Ellis Island, I wonder if those attitudes have disappeared, or at least are in a shrinking minority. When I'm back in Buffalo, I still hear about a lot of "pure blooded" couples, where everybody on the family tree is the same ethnicity. (Italian-Americans all the way down to everbody's great grandfather -- how is that possible outside of Italiy or northern New Jersey?) When I was still on Match, I'd occasionally look at profiles in Buffalo, and see a small minority of 40-something women looking for nothing less than an "Italian stallion" or "Poilish prince". I really didn't see that using Match in other cities. Dealbreakers outside of the usual preferences for age groups, physical sttributes, education levels, etc. were based more of religiosity (usually evangelical Christian vs mainline/non-Christian/humanist beliefs), racial identity (especially among African-American women), politics (activist/intersectional vs moderate, with a lot of "no Republicans"), and diet (vegan vs vegetarian or omnivore).

It's okay to have preferences when you're dating. I think it's fascinating how those preferences vary from place to place,
 

Whose Yur Planner

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When I was in my teens and early 20s, in high school and college, people still seemed very concerned about dating within their faith and ethnciity. The first girl I ever asked out, back in 8th grade, turned me down. Why? I just got a simple "no", but mutual friends told me it was because her parents wouldn't let her go out with any boys who wasn't Catholic and Italian. The rejection really hit me hard -- I don't think I asked another girl out on a date for another two or three years. Anyhow, out of curiosity, I checked her out on Facebook, and she's married. To an Italian guy, of course.

Now that we're several generations away from Ellis Island, I wonder if those attitudes have disappeared, or at least are in a shrinking minority. When I'm back in Buffalo, I still hear about a lot of "pure blooded" couples, where everybody on the family tree is the same ethnicity. (Italian-Americans all the way down to everbody's great grandfather -- how is that possible outside of Italiy or northern New Jersey?) When I was still on Match, I'd occasionally look at profiles in Buffalo, and see a small minority of 40-something women looking for nothing less than an "Italian stallion" or "Poilish prince". I really didn't see that using Match in other cities. Dealbreakers outside of the usual preferences for age groups, physical sttributes, education levels, etc. were based more of religiosity (usually evangelical Christian vs mainline/non-Christian/humanist beliefs), racial identity (especially among African-American women), politics (activist/intersectional vs moderate, with a lot of "no Republicans"), and diet (vegan vs vegetarian or omnivore).

It's okay to have preferences when you're dating. I think it's fascinating how those preferences vary from place to place,
We had the same don't marry outside of you ethnic group and religion in my part of the Midwest. My family had an additional burden of being recent converts from Catholicism. Basically, I know the drill.
 
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Hawkeye66

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I am glad to hear there are people that had online dating work for them. It hasn't at all for me. Part of that may just be living in small town Iowa.
 

Dan

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I am glad to hear there are people that had online dating work for them. It hasn't at all for me. Part of that may just be living in small town Iowa.
♫ You don't have to be lonely, with farmers only dot com! ♫

Small town dating -- been there, done that. It was embarrassing when I'd run into someone who ignored or rejected me online. Awkward glances at Wegmans, and then moving on hoping you don't see them in the coffee aisle.
 

Whose Yur Planner

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Well she outed us to several of the pastors at church. It's a church thing. On a side note, I know why there are a lot of single people at the gym.. I thought it was vanity and some health related reason. The real reason is that they have the time to do it.
 

AG74683

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Somehow I managed to find an actual real person on that Plenty of Fish crap(pie...get it?!). I don't think it's really going to go anywhere but she's cute and can carry on a conversation reasonably well.
 

kms

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Somehow I managed to find an actual real person on that Plenty of Fish crap(pie...get it?!). I don't think it's really going to go anywhere but she's cute and can carry on a conversation reasonably well.
Good for you! It’s a start.
 

mendelman

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Somehow I managed to find an actual real person on that Plenty of Fish crap(pie...get it?!). I don't think it's really going to go anywhere but she's cute and can carry on a conversation reasonably well.
Isn't that all you really need at this stage? Have fun.

EDIT: What kms said.
 

RandomPlanner

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♫ You don't have to be lonely, with farmers only dot com! ♫

Small town dating -- been there, done that. It was embarrassing when I'd run into someone who ignored or rejected me online. Awkward glances at Wegmans, and then moving on hoping you don't see them in the coffee aisle.
OT: I miss Wegmans...
 

Doohickie

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My fiance and I met on OKCupid and two friends who just got married met on POF but we joke that we are outliers.
I believe OKCupid was the site my son met his girlfriend on. They've been together about a year and a half. They're trying to work out how to sync their futures together (there are some complicated issues).

I worry because it's his first serious relationship, but then again I'm still with my first serious relationship 35+ years later....

We had the same don't marry outside of you ethnic group and religion in my part of the Midwest.
It was darned near impossible to marry outside my religion where I grew up (Buffalo, NY). Virtually everyone I knew was Catholic, either Polish or Italian. I still managed to do it- I met a Presbyterian girl while away at college. :)
 

Whose Yur Planner

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Again, why is it that when you get into a serious relationship, that other women start finding you attractive? I''m basically the same person I was four months ago. You weren't interested then, and now you are?:thinking::rolleyes:
 

DVD

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Because you're taken and if one thinks you're good the others need to see what they're missing out on. Plus maybe there is that touch of happiness or confidence that they're picking up on.

Old Chris Rock (I think) joke. When a guy sees his friend has a great girlfriend he says, "I gotta get me a girl like that." When a woman sees her friend has a great guy she says, "I gotta get THAT man."
 

Hawkeye66

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I am thinking of giving up my 20 year career to start a service which organizes dating events like flash dating in our area. There is a real market here to be had. There are dating services in a couple of cities that no doubt cost a lot, and then there is online dating of course. I would pay $60 for a 2 hour event where I got to meet 15 women for 5 minutes each rather than Match.
 

Hawkeye66

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I wouldn't quit the day job, the idea is great.
We have a population base of about 400,000 people in the 6 county area, which isn't a big city, but not super rural either. I know I would much rather invest time meeting people in person, even if it came to nothing, its still a better use of time than mindlessly looking at Match or OKCupid.
 

Whose Yur Planner

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We have a population base of about 400,000 people in the 6 county area, which isn't a big city, but not super rural either. I know I would much rather invest time meeting people in person, even if it came to nothing, its still a better use of time than mindlessly looking at Match or OKCupid.
With that big of a population, it would do fine. Online sucks and it is, at best, a mixed bag. Speaking of online dating, AG how are things going with the PoF girl you were chatting up?
 

Hawkeye66

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It was nice to go on a date with a high quality educated person. I don't think there is much there, but frankly its hard for me to tell about someone right away. I don't always read these situations well.
 

Whose Yur Planner

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It was nice to go on a date with a high quality educated person. I don't think there is much there, but frankly its hard for me to tell about someone right away. I don't always read these situations well.
Glad it went well. Hopefully it will garner a second date.
 

Whose Yur Planner

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Heh, I got ruled out because I still have 2 school age children. That isn't the first time. Many women my age have only grown kids. Such is life. It was a decent date at least.
That sucks, but I understand. When you date someone with school aged children, you have to accept it's package deal.
 

Whose Yur Planner

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Question- did any of y'all have trouble balancing your time when you were seriously dating/part of a couple? I'm struggling getting stuff done and working out and spending time with her. I have't had a free Saturday for several months and we are starting to see each other during the week. This doesn't count the texting and phones calls during the week.
 

mendelman

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Question- did any of y'all have trouble balancing your time when you were seriously dating/part of a couple? I'm struggling getting stuff done and working out and spending time with her. I have't had a free Saturday for several months and we are starting to see each other during the week. This doesn't count the texting and phones calls during the week.
No.

But we were 22 and 21 yr old college students and pretty much carefree at the time.

Presently, we are ever so busy and can barely have a 20 minute conversation without one of us falling asleep (mostly me) or being interrupted by a child or two or all three at once.

Good luck.
 

AG74683

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Question- did any of y'all have trouble balancing your time when you were seriously dating/part of a couple? I'm struggling getting stuff done and working out and spending time with her. I have't had a free Saturday for several months and we are starting to see each other during the week. This doesn't count the texting and phones calls during the week.
My thing last summer didn't have this issue, although looking back on it I think part of the reason she withdrew is because we spent TOO much time together and she couldn't balance it at all.

That said, now I think it'd be completely different. I'm really busy now balancing classes for both work and the VFD stuff, plus random events and keeping the house in line, I think my weekends are largely booked. I see it being a problem when/if I manage to meet someone else around here.
 

kjel

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Question- did any of y'all have trouble balancing your time when you were seriously dating/part of a couple? I'm struggling getting stuff done and working out and spending time with her. I have't had a free Saturday for several months and we are starting to see each other during the week. This doesn't count the texting and phones calls during the week.
She might also be having the same issues. I think you just need to have a conversation about things that are important to each of you outside of spending time with each other.
 

Whose Yur Planner

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She might also be having the same issues. I think you just need to have a conversation about things that are important to each of you outside of spending time with each other.
That is a good point. We're pretty good a compromising, being flexible and talking things out. I know it's a struggle on her part part. Often times, it amounts to finding the time to be together and arranging things. It's just that the time together is increasing. On a side note, I'm glad to be out of the single's mess. Being in a relationship adds stability and balance to your life. Plus, you're not searching anymore. Even when you say you are not searching when you are single, you are still searching.
 
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Hawkeye66

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Met someone really promising. We met in person, etc. Talked a lot. She lives about 90 minutes from me, and couldn't get past it so it went nowhere. I think I am gonna take a break for at least a while.
 
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