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The NEVERENDING E-mail Spam Thread

Chet

Cyburbian Emeritus
Messages
10,623
Points
34
Free Boobs

lyw<BR>qzehgibhzv gspmn igys
nyqzvez hniyds zkvigbq vn
You won't believe this free p o r n! Click here now!

Mod Note: This link intentionally left broken. No porn links please.
 

Repo Man

Cyburbian
Messages
2,549
Points
25
Remove wrinkles and Stretch marks without surgery

Tell Your Boss To Go To Hell!

Give Her Something Bigger!

..and these are just the ones that were waiting for me this morning.
 

Seabishop

Cyburbian
Messages
3,838
Points
25
Metabolism rocks ih42Y
Your Old Septic Tank Young Again DIbsi
079 Obtain a school diploma swiftly
x would you like to go on a hot date? QOQDR
Stunning single women Ei515


In theory, if I took advantage of every "male enhancement" product e-mailed to me, I would be "enhanced" by about 900'.
 

nerudite

Cyburbian
Messages
6,544
Points
30
From today's batch:

"Sample the weight loss patch...on us " (does this mean *they* wear the patch?)
" Could you use a Cash Advance....?" (uhhh... not if I have to pay it back)
"Get Paid to Drive Your Car" (I do, it's called commuting)

Light spam day. People must be on vacation.
 

Jeff

Cyburbian
Messages
4,161
Points
27
Watch her take all 25 inches of pure man horse...FOR FREE !!!

CLICK HERE NOW !!!
 

SkeLeton

Cyburbian
Messages
4,853
Points
26
I'm quite lucky.. because I don't get spam mail at all (nor do I get many regular mails :p)
But when I did get (to an acount un hotmail that I don't use anymore) I'd get these herbal viagra and shit like that....and loans, and a few pron sites....boy.. I sure don't miss those spam mails...
 

Chet

Cyburbian Emeritus
Messages
10,623
Points
34
Make her choke on your fat J?ohnson

>>> ENLARGE YOUR PENIS GUARANTEED OR YOUR MONEY BACK! CLICK BELOW TO LEARN MORE
 

Cardinal

Cyburbian
Messages
10,080
Points
34
Our product is doctor endorsed.

100% Herbal, HGH is proven to...

Reduces Wrinkles
Reduces Hairloss
Burns Fat
Increases Energy
Increases Memory
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Dan

Dear Leader
Staff member
Moderator
Messages
18,758
Points
69
You gotta' at least appreciate the cajones that went into this one.

From: Secretary Towogbola [secretary_in_chargeeeee@hotmail.com]
Subject: TREAT AS URGENT {THIS IS NO JUNK MAIL}

"EXECUTION"EXECUTION"EXECUTION"'
NATIONAL CORPORATION HEADQUATERS LAGOS.

PRIVACY. we wish to introduce our company/ourselves as a subsidiary of INTERNATIONAL ASSASINATORS AND WORLD SECURITY ORGANISATIONS,with branches in one hundred and two {102}countires.

we have received a fax message from our headquaters,new york,this morning to inform you to produce a mandatory sum of US$40,000.00 {FOURTHY THOUSAND UNITED STATES DOLLARS} only,into our account given below in nigeria within ninety six hours{96},alternatively you will be SNIPPED and GUNNED down during the period of our oncoming anniversary of fifty years.

STANDARD TRUST BANK VICTORIA ISLAND BRANCH LAGOS A/C NO. 03681173101152 {OLAJIDE .O. WILLIAMS} NIGERIA

CAUTION.

1.you are to attach and send with immediate effect,the payment slip,confirming the payment and to enable us to reconcile with our files and deploy our men already monitoring you.

2.we will as well waste no time to carry our operations,if we discover that this contact is disclosed to any second party including the following:-

{a}police {b}relation and {c}friends

3.we guarantee your saftey locally and internationally,on the completion of this contract and will not hesitate to disclose our men in your country to you and as well render our service if needed or on request.

we seek your urgent co-operation,for it is not our wish to get you eliminated.

Note : - Your death has been paid for by someone you offended sometime ago and it will be adviceable that you co-operate with us a.s.a.p.

TOWOGBOLA .A.JOHNSON SECRETARY.
 

lowlyplanner

Cyburbian
Messages
69
Points
4
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/africa/3887493.stm

This seems to be a real story about a guy who conned $80 from one of those "Nigerian Scam" people. Some quotes:

"Mike sent a response in the name of Father Hector Barnett of the Church of the Painted Breast.

Dear Sir,
I would dearly love to help you. If you ever decide to join our faith then of course I could help you both with my experience and financial support. I wish you well in your endeavour my brother.

Yours, Father Hector Barnett

"Now I knew the guy would write back and say: 'Well, can I join your faith?' and indeed he did," says Mike.

Dear Father Hector,
If joining your faith is what it takes to help me of course, I am ready to join you. I'm from a good Christian family. I will do anything you want me to do in the faith. Don't forget that I have to transfer the money to your account as urgently as possible. Send me your account details. I hope to read your mail soon.

Prince Joe Eboh"

"He then tried to hit me for $18,000 for processing fees for transferring millions," Mike says.

He wrote back as Father Hector, saying that the church had plenty of money, but there was a withdrawal fee of $80.

"I persuaded him to send me the $80, which he did, inside a birthday card, by courier," Mike says.
 

The One

Cyburbian
Messages
8,289
Points
30
The new chain letters

I dislike the new online chain letters that people send....you know, the one's that tell you if you send it to 20 people, you'll get money from Bill Gates....or God will appreciate you more, or whatever......
 

Wannaplan?

Bounty Hunter
Messages
3,221
Points
29
I have no idea where this crap comes from. Apparently from the Raelian Movement (usa@rael.org):

Linda Ronstadt named "Honorary Priest" for supporting Michael
Moore

Press release, Las Vegas, July 22nd, 2004 - After her
politically incorrect dedication to Michael Moore in her show at
the Aladdin Hotel in Las Vegas, His Holiness Rael has named
Linda Ronstadt an honorary Priest (also called "Guide") of the
Raelian Religion . This title has been bestowed on a select few
public figures - namely Madonna, Sinead O`Connor, George
Michael, Michael Moore and Ramsey Clark.

Ricky Lee Roehr, head of the US Raelian Movement comments:
"People like these wake up society to the truth. If you notice,
only 25% of the audience walked out of Ms. Ronstadt`s show. This
means 75% either agreed with her or sympathizes with her
comment! Do we think that the Aladdin hotel would cancel her
contract if she would have said "God bless America" ? There is
no war on terrorism. There never was. There were never any
weapons of mass destruction and this means Bush either lied or
doesn`t know what he`s doing. Additionally, Bush claims to be a
Christian yet forgets the most famous words of Jesus "love your
enemy" and "if your enemy strikes you, offer the other
cheek" (though Iraq never even attacked the US!).

The public figures given this honorary title are those who point
out the lies of those claiming to "protect us", their
hypocrisies and insane fascination with violence. Violence is
never a solution. There are actually more ``terrorists`` than
ever thanks to the incompetencies of the Bush administration
ignoring the U.N. and sending in the military which
killed many more civilians than "terrorists". By giving
one-sided support to Israel which neglects the rights of the
Palestinians, the Bush administration has worsened the
situation. Or maybe this is what they really want in order to
justify record spending on the military which makes their
friends a lot of money.

For interview requests, please contact pr@rael.org
 

SkeLeton

Cyburbian
Messages
4,853
Points
26
Some sort of revival

Now this is some weird spam mail:
Amy came in hastily, and looked rather abashed when she saw her sisters all waiting for her. (this line was hidden in a yellow backround!)

V,al,.ium, Ce_leb`rex, vi`cod-.in, Ul,tr_am, Vi`ox^x, Ci,al'is, Le~vitr,a, Via-gra, Me,,rid.ia, R,educ,,til, Xe,ni,cal
Fr0m America & ov.erni``gh,t shi^pping


We cover the m-ed`,ica~tions you n-e_ed with the most acceptable prices -
Let's go

O'CONNELL I've heard it before, Winston, (this one too was hidden!)





She was just recovering from one of these attacks when she was prevailed upon to escort Miss Crocker to a lecture, and in return for her virtue was rewarded with a new idea. It was a People's Course, the lecture on the Pyramids, and Jo rather wondered at the choice of such a subject for such an audience, but took it for granted that some great social evil would be remedied or some great want supplied by unfolding the glories of the Pharaohs to an audience whose thoughts were busy with the price of coal and flour, and whose l_ives were spent in trying to solve harder riddles than that of the Sphinx. They were early, and while Miss Crocker set the heel of her stocking, Jo amused herself by examining the faces of the people who occupied the seat with them. On her left were two matrons, with massive foreheads and bonnets to match, discussing Women's Rights and making tatting. Beyond sat a pair of humble lovers, artlessly holding each other by the hand, a somber spinster eating peppermints out of a paper bag, and an old gentleman taking his preparatory nap behind a yell'o,w bandanna. On her right, her only neighbor was a studious looking lad absorbed in a newspaper. It was a p,i^ctorial sheet, and Jo examined the work of art nearest her, idly wondering what fortuitous concatenation of circ,u,mstances needed the melodramatic illustration of an Indian in f,u`ll war costume, tumbling over a precip-i-ce with a wolf at his throat, while two infuriated y,ou`ng gentlemen, with unnaturally small feet and big eyes,were stabbing each other close by, and a disheveled female was flying away in the background with her mouth wide open. Pausing to turn a page, the lad saw her looking and, with boyish good nature offered half his paper, saying bluntly, "want to read it? That's a first-r~a,te story." "Where have you been, and what are you hiding pogwalceniem 10 powaga 86 mowie wiczegna

I rate this #1 for weirdest spam mail ever!
 

Dan

Dear Leader
Staff member
Moderator
Messages
18,758
Points
69
SkeLeton said:
Pausing to turn a page, the lad saw her looking and, with boyish good nature offered half his paper, saying bluntly, "want to read it? That's a first-rate story." "Where have you been, and what are you hiding pogwalceniem 10 powaga 86 mowie wiczegna

That had to have come from a drunken Cheektowagan. :D
 

mgk920

Cyburbian
Messages
4,202
Points
26
I just got a good one in todays inbox, sounds usefull!

--------------------------------------------------------------

Subject:
How one can become a terrorist?
Date:
Tue, 21 Sep 2004 17:06:58 +0000
From:
<support@(blanked intentionally)>
To:
<mgk920@(my ISP)>




Welcome to our web site (blanked intentionally)

Please use (blanked interntionally) in case of our domain outage.

You're invited to shop for large selection of bombs and different kinds of rockets such as
surface-to-air,
surface-to-surface and weaponry available at reduced price. With the following types of rockets you
will be
able to commit terrorist attacks, destroy buildings, electric power stations, bridges, factories and
anything
else that comes your mind. Most items are in stock and available for next day freight delivery in the
USA.
Worldwide delivery is available at additional cost. Prices are negotiable.

Please feel free to inquire by ICQ # xxxxxxxxx or contacting us directly:

+1-305-xxx-xxxx
+1-919-xxx-xxxx
+1-314-xxx-xxxx

Today special:

******* AIR BOMBS *******
OFAB-500U HE fragmentation air bomb
Fuel-air explosive air bombs -Not in stock
BETAB-500U concrete-piercing air bomb
ZB-500RT incendiary tank
500-KG SIZE RBK-500U unified cluster bomb
RBK-500U OAB-2.5PT loaded with fragmentation submunitions
RBK-500U BETAB-M loaded with concrete-piercing submunitions-Not in stock
RBK-500U OFAB-50UD loaded with HE fragmentation submunitions

******* UNGUIDED AIRCRAFT ROCKETS *******
Main-purpose unguided aircraft rockets
S-8 unguided aircraft rockets
S-8KOM
S-8BM-Not in stock
S-13 unguided aircraft rockets
S-13, S-13T, S-13-OF, S-13D, S-13DF
S-25-0
S-25-OFM
S-24B -Not in stock
RS-82
RS-132-Not in stock

******* ROCKET PODS *******
B-8M pod for S-8 rockets
B-8V20-A pod for S-8 rockets
B-13L pod for S-13 rockets

Recently received *NEW*

Hydra 70 2.75 inch Rockets
Air-Launched 2.75-Inch Rockets
FIM-92A Stinger Weapons System
Stinger 101: Anti-Air

Our clients are well known Al-Qaida, Hizballah, Al-Jihad, HAMAS, Abu Sayyaf Group and many other
terrorist groups. We are well known supplier in the market and looking forward to expand our clientage
with assistance of Internet.

Do not hesitate to contact us via ICQ # xxxxxxxxx

Impatiently awaiting for your orders,
ShadowCrew

--------------------------------------------

My order is on the way!

:)

(hehehehehe)

Mike
 
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