• Ongoing coronavirus / COVID-19 discussion: how is the pandemic affecting your community, workplace, and wellness? 🦠

    Working from home? So are we. Come join us! Cyburbia is a friendly big tent, where we share our experiences and thoughts about urban planning practice, planning adjacent topics, and whatever else comes to mind. No ads, no spam, no social distancing.

Humor The NEVERENDING Planning Humor Thread

zman

Cyburbian
Messages
9,245
Points
32
Hey Guys, I've been working professionally, meaning outside of an internship, for nearly 2 months. I was wondering if there were any planning jokes, or other humorous stuff that the world of Cyburbia could offer. I recall seeing in the office I interned at sort of an outline of the different stages of a planning career. From intern, to planner I, to senior planner and so on. Does any have this and other stuff to offer too.
Thanks,
Zach
 

Repo Man

Cyburbian
Messages
2,549
Points
25
This thread has a good planning cartoon.

Richard Carson sometimes writes funny columns and stories, but most of the time the only person who seems to be lauging at his jokes are himself and other Portland Area planners. http://www.aboutplanning.org/

Oh and someone should tell the editors of APAs "Practicing Planner" that the Urbane Planning cartoons aren't funny at all.
 

Dan

Dear Leader
Staff member
Moderator
Messages
18,767
Points
69
I just added a planning humor section to the Cyburbia Gallery. If you submit something, please make sure it's planning-related -- no generic, off-topic humor, please -- and that it's not something floating around everywhere else online.

Just plain bad development should remain in the Worst Case Scenario gallery.
 

Budgie

Cyburbian
Messages
5,270
Points
30
I've added a couple of my favorite planning cartoon to the Gallery. I use these in PowerPoint presentations all the time.
 

Dan

Dear Leader
Staff member
Moderator
Messages
18,767
Points
69
Repo Man said:
Oh and someone should tell the editors of APAs "Practicing Planner" that the Urbane Planning cartoons aren't funny at all.

I uploaded several Urbane Planning comics to the Planning Humor album in the Cyburbia Gallery, so those who aren't AICP can have a look.

1urbane_planning_05.gif
 

SGB

Cyburbian
Messages
3,388
Points
26
JNA said:
At Daryl Cagle's PRO Cartoonist website:
http://cagle.slate.msn.com/politicalcartoons/pccartoons/archives/branch.asp?Action=GetImage

John Branch, The San Antonio Express-News
Image dated : 08/17/04
 

JNA

Cyburbian Plus
Messages
25,888
Points
62

Random Traffic Guy

Cyburbian
Messages
644
Points
18
As a conslutant I have to go to a bunch of different cities for public meetings, so this is one of my favorites.

http://home.flash.net/~mpisi/Pics/pearls200411295101.jpg

I also need to get the Simpsons .wav file "Oh why won't somebody think of the Chillll-druuuunn!!!!" as my phone ringtone, to "accidentally" play when certain people are at the mic. It really would save alot of time.
 
Last edited by a moderator:

luckless pedestrian

Super Moderator
Staff member
Moderator
Messages
12,570
Points
54
got this one today - sort of planning, sort of everything humor:

Put about 100 bricks in some particular order in a closed room with an open
window. Then send 2 or 3 candidates into the room and close the door. Leave
them alone, and come back after 6 hours, and then analyze the situation:

If they are counting the bricks, put them in the accounting department.

If they are recounting them, put them in auditing.

If they have messed up the whole place with the bricks, put them in
engineering.

If they are arranging the bricks in some strange order, put them in
planning.

If they are throwing the bricks at each other, put them in operations.

If they are sleeping, put them in security.

If they have broken the bricks into pieces, put them in information
technology.

If they are sitting idle, put them in human resources.

If they say they have tried different combinations, yet not a brick has
been moved, put them in sales.

If they have already left for the day, put them in marketing.

If they are staring out of the window, put them in strategic planning.

If they are talking to each other, and not a single brick has been moved,
congratulate them and put them in top management.

Finally, if they have surrounded themselves with bricks in such a way that
they can neither be seen nor heard from, put them in Congress
 

Queen B

Cyburbian
Messages
3,178
Points
25
Noah's Ark

I am sure you have all seen this one but it traveled through my email this week and it is still funny!

Noah's Ark in 2006

In the year 2006, the Lord came unto Noah, who was now
living in the United States, and said. "Once again,
the earth has become wicked and overpopulated and I
see the end of all flesh before me. Build another Ark
and save two of everything living along with a few
good humans."

He gave Noah the blueprints, saying, "You have six
months to build the Ark before I will start the
unending rain for forty days and forty nights."

Six months later, the Lord looked down and saw Noah
weeping in his yard... but no Ark.

"Noah!," He roared, "I'm about to start the rain!
Where is the Ark?"

"Forgive me, Lord" begged Noah "but things have
changed. I need a building permit. I've been arguing
with the inspector about the need for a sprinkler
system. My neighbors claim that I've violated the
neighborhood zoning laws by building the Ark in my
yard and exceeding the height limitations. We had to
go to the Development Appeal Board for a decision.
Then the Department of Transportation demanded a bond
be posted for future costs of moving power lines for
the Ark's move to the sea. I argued that the sea would
be coming to us, but they would hear nothing of it.

Getting the wood was another problem. There's a ban on
cutting local trees in order to save the spotted owl.
I tried to convince the environmentalists that I
needed the wood to save the owls. But no go!

When I started gathering the animals, I got sued by an
animal rights group. They insisted that I was
confining wild animals against their will. As well,
they argued the accommodation was too restrictive and
it was cruel and inhumane to put so many animals in a
confined space.

Then the EPA ruled that I couldn't build the Ark until
they conducted an environmental impact study on your
proposed flood.

I'm still trying to resolve a complaint with the
Humane Rights Commission on how many minorities I'm
supposed to hire for my building crew.

Also, the trade union say I can't use my sons. They
insist I have to hire union workers with Ark building
experience.

To make things worse, the IRS seized all my assets,
claiming I'm trying to leave the country illegally
with endangered species.

So, forgive me, Lord, but it would take at least ten
years for me to finish this Ark."

Suddenly the skies cleared, the sun began to shine,
and a rainbow stretched across the sky.

Noah looked up in wonder and asked, "You mean, you're
not going to destroy the world?"

"No," said the Lord. "The government beat me to it."
 

Tide

Cyburbian
Messages
2,719
Points
24
Engineering joke but still good...


Three engineers; a Chemical engineer, Mechanical engineer, and Civil engineer, were arguing what kind of engineer God is.

The Chemical engineer says, "God must be a chmeical engineer just look at the human body and see all the different complex chemical reactions going on at the same time, God has to be a chemical engineer"

The Mechanical engineer says, "God must be a mechanical engineer, look how the human body can move, stretch, bend, all while maintaining it's balance, God must be a mechanical engieer"

The Civil engineer says, "You both have it wrong, God has to be a civil engineer. Look at the human body, only a civil engineer would but a waste pipeline through a recreational facility"
 

Richard Carson

Cyburbian
Messages
32
Points
2
Laughing out loud

If you cannot laugh at yourself, then what is the point of your existence?

-- Richard Carson, the contrarian planner
 

JNA

Cyburbian Plus
Messages
25,888
Points
62
Six Phases of a Project

1. Enthusiasm

2. Disillusionment

3. Panic

4. Search for the Guilty

5. Punishment of the Innocent

6. Praise and Honors for the Non-Participants


Have you experienced all six yet ?
 

vagaplanner

Cyburbian
Messages
296
Points
10
Looking for Planner humor

Hey crazy planners and cyburbanites,

I was thinking of doing a short work session with the Planning Commission about the lighter side of planning - ya know, just dialing down a bit for a few minutes. But, I need to know where to look for the good stuff. Of course, I will want the infamous portable "commie planning bastards" sign and any other funny stuff. If you can provide links, that would be great.

Thanks.
 

chasqui

Cyburbian
Messages
86
Points
4
stuff only funny to those in Planning ;)

I recall a far-side with two gophers in hard-hats looking at plans on a hole-filled prairie: "City planning in the wild" or something like that. Then of course, there is the Onion article on the Amulet of Zoning (http://www.theonion.com/content/node/39683). Somewhere out there on the internets there is a zoning-jargon generator... Anyone else have any ideas?
 

NHPlanner

A shadow of my former self
Staff member
Moderator
Messages
9,953
Points
40
Hey crazy planners and cyburbanites,

I was thinking of doing a short work session with the Planning Commission about the lighter side of planning - ya know, just dialing down a bit for a few minutes. But, I need to know where to look for the good stuff. Of course, I will want the infamous portable "commie planning bastards" sign and any other funny stuff. If you can provide links, that would be great.

Thanks.

Moderator note:

Merged into prior thread on same topic.
 
Top