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Humor The NEVERENDING Planning Humor Thread

luckless pedestrian

Super Moderator
Staff member
Moderator
Messages
12,314
Points
52
I have to speak at Rotary tomorrow so I am opening with this:

Land Use and Plan

(Green Eggs & Ham, with apologies to Dr. Seuss)


Sam I am
I am Sam
I am Sam
Sam I am

That Sam-I-am!
That Sam-I-am!
I do not like
that Sam-I-am!

Do you like
Land use and plan?

I do not like them,
Sam-I-am.
I do not like
Land use and plan.

Would you like them
here or there?

I would not like them
here or there.
I would not like them
anywhere.
I do not like
Land use and plan.
I do not like them,
Sam-I-am.

Would you like them
For your house?
Would you like them
For your cows?

I do not like them
For my house.
I do not like them
For my cows.
I do not like them
here or there.
I do not like them
anywhere.
I do not like land use and plan.
I do not like them, Sam-I-am.

Would you want them
For big box?
Don’t you want to
Save those rocks?

Not for big box.
Not for those rocks.
Not for my house.
Not for my cows.
I would not want them here or there.
I would not want them anywhere.
I would not want land use and plan.
I do not like them, Sam-I-am.

Would you? Could you?
For that bar?
Read them! Read them!
Here they are.

I would not,
could not,
for that bar.

You may like them.
You will see.
You may like them
Save a tree!

I would not, could not save a tree.
Not for that bar! You let them be!

I do not like them for big box.
I do not get what’s up with rocks.
I do not like them for my house.
I do not like them for my cows.
I do not like them here or there.
I do not like them anywhere.
I do not like land use and plan.
I do not like them, Sam-I-am.

A train! A train!
A train! A train!
Multi-modal, oh so soulful
For a train?

Not for a train! Don’t save a tree!
Not for that bar! Sam! Let them be!

I would not, could not, for big box.
I could not, would not, for those rocks.
I will not have them for my house.
I will not have them for my cows.
I will not have them here or there.
I will not have them anywhere.
I do not want land use and plan.
I do not want them, Sam-I-am.

Say!
To save the dark?
Here is the dark!
Would you, could you, for the dark?

I would not, could not,
For the dark.

Would you, could you,
If it’s plain?

I would not, could not, if it’s plain.
Not for the dark. Not for a train.
Not for that bar. Not for that tree.
I do not like them, Sam, you see.
Not for my house. Not for big box.
Not for my cows. Not for those rocks.
I will not vote them here or there.
I do not like them anywhere!

You do not like
Land use and plan?

I do not
like them,
Sam-I-am.

Could you, would you
Please just vote?

I would not,
could not,
please just vote!

Would you, could you,
Read my note?

I could not, would not, please just vote.
I will not, will not, read your note.
I will not vote them if they’re plain.
I will not vote them for a train.
Not for the dark! Not for a tree!
Not for a bar! You let me be!
I do not like them for big box.
I do not like them for those rocks.
I will not like them for my house.
I do not like them for my cows.
I do not like them here or there.
I do not like them ANYWHERE

I do not like
Land use
and plan!

I do not like them,
Sam-I-am.

You do not like them.
So you say.
Try them! Try them!
And you may.
Try them and you may, I say.

Sam!
If you will let me be,
I will try them.
You will see.

Say!
I like land use and plan!
I do! I like them, Sam-I-am!
And I would please just vote.
And I would gladly read your note...

And I will help you make them plain.
And for the dark. And for a train.
And for that bar. And for that tree.
They are so good, so good, you see!

So I will vote them for big box.
And I will vote them for those rocks.
And I will vote them for my house.
And I will vote them for my cows.
And I will vote them here and there.
Say! I will vote them ANYWHERE!

I do so like
Land use and plan!
Thank you!
Thank you,
Sam-I-am!
 

Sacha

Member
Messages
15
Points
1
Andy Singer - Car busters

Andy Singer has lots of cartoons about automobile dependence. Google him.
 

JNA

Cyburbian Plus
Messages
25,647
Points
59
Perfect for Talk Like A Pirate Day

Piracy in the planning dept
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/opinion/main.jhtml?xml=/opinion/2008/05/11/do1111.xml

HIGHLIGHT:
The senior planning officer is therefore minded to grant the application for digging the hole. However, in order to comply with the principles of fair pirating, Scurvy Jack will be required to lodge a map at the headquarters of the Chartered Institute of Freebooters, marking the location of the buried treasure with an X.
:-D :-D :-D
 

johnelsden1

Member
Messages
416
Points
13
I always like the one about the wallet-size zoning map.............voila, I open my wallet and there it is.............of course can't read it...........
 

Dan

Dear Leader
Staff member
Moderator
Messages
18,604
Points
69
From the La Holla Light:

Years ago, the La Jolla Town Council received reprint rights from Theodore "Dr. Seuss" Geisel to a 1956 brochure he called "Signs of Civilization."

In a note on the back, Town Council leaders wrote: "The business people of the La Jolla Town Council believe in advertising. ... But at a certain point, good taste comes into the picture. ... We are not going to let our town be blighted by the uncontrolled clutter of unsightly signs."

The brochure points to the then-existing regulations on signs and reminds people to check with city officials on sign permits and rules.

Signs of Civil-iz-ation!
By Dr. Seuss (1956)
La Jolla Town Council Inc.

There once was a guy
And his name was Guss
Who invented a product
Called Guss-ma-Tuss.
(I forget what it did,
But the product was good.)
So he whapped out a sign
As he darn well should.
Then along came a guy, and his name was Zaxx
Who invented a product called Zaxx-ma-Taxx.
And he said:
"I shall show this bush-leaguer Guss
"I can double out-sell his Guss-ma-Tuss!"
And, so, Board Chairman Zaxx of Zaxx-ma-Taxx
Whapped out a much bigger sign with his axe.

That's how it all started.
THEN good old Guss
Put a bigger pitch in
For Fuss-ma-Tuss!

Of course, you know how Zaxx re-acted.
(Just about like you expacted.)
Ten-ton signs around his door!
THEN Guss ...
HE re-reacted more!
And, thus between them, with impunity
They loused up the entire community.

Sign after sign, after sign, until
Their property values slumped to nil.
And even the dinosaurs moved away
From that messed-up spot in the U.S.A.
 

ofos

Vintage Cyburbian
Messages
8,278
Points
27
There go another few minutes of my life that I'll never get back. :r:
 

Dan

Dear Leader
Staff member
Moderator
Messages
18,604
Points
69
Not quite memes, but not quite serious -- post the here, folks.

From F is for Family. That's a violation.

thats_a_violation.gif
 
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