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The NEVERENDING Raising Children Thread

Rygor

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Over the course of about 36 hours this weekend, our youngest (who is not quite 17 months) figured out how to open the front door, then figured out how to also unlock and open the door (at least the lock that is on the door knob), and last but not least she figured out how to climb out of her crib! 8-!

Usually, during the day, we go in and out the front door so often that we leave it unlocked. Now we not only have to leave it locked, but we also need to make sure the deadbolt is locked as well since that's up high enough that she won't be able to reach that for some time.

We had set her down for a nap and my wife was walking past her bedroom and heard somebody in there playing a xylophone. She somehow managed to pull herself up and out of her crib, make a mess of all of her toys and stuff from her changing table and then take a little toy xylophone and sit in a chair in her room and start playing it. Luckily she didn't hurt herself climbing out. I lowered her crib down to the lowest level but that's only about an inch or so lower than where it was when she climbed out. We'll see how long it takes her to get out of there this time.

Our oldest (who turns 7 tomorrow) never tried climbing out of her crib. Even after removing the sides altogether it probably took her 2 months to realize that she could get out of the bed all by herself and didn't need to call for us when she was ready to get up.
My oldest was an escape artist with the crib. We lowered it as far as we could and put this tent thing over the top to keep her from climbing out, but she bent the tent out of the way and was FREE!!! It was after that the wife decided I might be right about getting a toddler bed once they can escape the crib. Then again, mine wasn't a lock smith. We were able to just lock the door on her room so she couldn't get out and hurt herself. Although one time we forgot and found her sitting in the kitchen with the freezer open eating a pint of coffee ice cream. Still her favorite ice cream.
My daughter just turned 3 and still has not had the inclination to try to get out of her crib. My wife and I are milking it for all it's worth because we know that as soon as she does decide she wants to our days of sleeping in on the weekends are over (she usually sleeps till 9:15 or 9:30 and just hangs around playing with her animals or singing to them in her crib for a good 45 minutes or more till we come get her). Definitely not looking forward to her trying to get out of her room and explore the house anytime she wakes up in the night. :-c
 

WSU MUP Student

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What's the going rate for babysitters in your 'hood?

In the past, we've always used grandmas and grandpas or aunts but for the first time in 7 years of parenthood, we have an actual babysitter that we need to pay for tomorrow night. My wife says $10/hour, I thought $15/hour. What say the throbbing brain?

For the sake of reference, it's an older sister of one of our daughter's friends. She will only be watching one of our children, the 17-month-old, and we should be home by 9:30 p.m. in case any of that matters.
 

Planit

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The Girl started high school yesterday. She didn't find out which bus to ride home and missed it. She thought she was close to my office and decided to walk, but didn't really know where she was (she doesn't pay attention much when we drive around). She got on her phone, found Google Maps and walked 14 blocks to my office. This is something that she wouldn't even have attempted before.

After she got to the office she said she really didn't realize how far it was (which it really wasn't) because she thought it was only a couple blocks. Both Mrs. P & I are proud of her for figuring it out on her own. We are both a little concerned because a couple of those blocks she walked through aren't the best part of town.

Other than that, she loved her first day of high school. She was actually showing some other freshman around, but was doing it blindly and asking directions from some upperclassmen she knows from band & church youth group.
 

WSU MUP Student

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Our neighborhood is surrounded by a handful of large private schools and many of the kids who walk/bike to them have to go right past our house in the morning. Our daughter goes to public schools and they don't go back until next week but she knows some of the kids from the neighborhood that go to the private schools and they went back this week.

For most of the summer, our daughter (who just turned 7) would stay in bed until well after 9:00 a.m. but every morning this week she has gotten up while I am getting ready for work. I thought she just wanted to hang out with me on the porch while I eat breakfast but this morning she told me that she's hoping to see a couple specific friends walking to school so they can see her outside playing while they have to go to school already. :lmao:
 

DVD

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That's how you raise kids right there! Make sure they know how to gloat over the other kids.
 

Maister

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About a month ago after watching Junior pour about 1/3 of a cup of catsup on his plate for French fries, we lectured him about not being so wasteful with household products and food. With this in mind, we bought him his own regular sized bottle of shampoo about three weeks ago and told him it had to last at least a couple of months. This morning I noticed it's already 90% empty:-c. He's 12 why does he seem to have so much difficulty judging portions?
 

Maister

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So Junior got a life lesson yesterday. He joined his middle school band and had been getting trumpet lessons from me since last week. This gave him something of a head start over his classmates, and every day after school he’d giddily announce how the band director would ask him to demonstrate ‘proper trumpet technique.’ On Monday he proudly advised me the band director was making his choices this week on who would represent the 6th grade for the annual ‘Band Olympics’ (some sort of adjudicated music event I gather). He was positive he would be chosen for trumpet. Turns out some other student was chosen yesterday. He tried pass it off as an ‘oh well, at least I won’t have all the stress of learning new music and having to perform alone in front of an audience’, but I get the distinct feeling he was crushed. I note he didn't seem interested in wanting to practice trumpet together last night like he had begged me to do every night since last week.

No matter how good you are there also seems to be someone better waiting in the wings.
 

DVD

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The wife and I fall into the no BS dad category. The kids no there is no Santa and we have no problem telling them why something is the way it is - in a child friendly approach - or simply that we don't know.

Of course now that they're old enough I like to make up outrageous answers that they know are complete BS and get a laugh.
 

WSU MUP Student

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I was leaving for work and pulling out of the driveway at the same time that my daughter was walking out the front door to go to the bus stop. She was on the other end of the circular driveway when I saw her so I rolled my window down and yelled goodbye while waving. She turned to say goodbye but instead yelled, "Dad! You were in the bathroom a long time this morning!" at the top of her lungs at the same time that the neighbor's gorgeous nanny was walking outside to her car. Judging by the look on the nanny's face, I'm pretty sure she heard that exchange. :lmao:
 

JNA

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Article: Children Disconnected From Nature Won’t Fight To Save It.
 

DVD

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I stopped at Walmart yesterday and while I was there I picked up Clue. I thought the kids would like it. I am apparently the worst father ever, I should have known they wanted the game of Life. I had to go return it. We got the new Life game sponsored by Trip Adviser. I so wish I had kept all the original games when I was a kid.
 

Maister

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I stopped at Walmart yesterday and while I was there I picked up Clue. I thought the kids would like it. I am apparently the worst father ever, I should have known they wanted the game of Life. I had to go return it. We got the new Life game sponsored by Trip Adviser. I so wish I had kept all the original games when I was a kid.
You're lucky you didn't get reported to Child Protective Services! And you call yourself a "father'. Clue indeed, what were you thinking?!;)
 

mendelman

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You're lucky you didn't get reported to Child Protective Services! And you call yourself a "father'. Clue indeed, what were you thinking?!;)
Well, to be honest, Clue is a lousy game. The Game of Life is far better by all objective criteria.
 

Hink

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Well, to be honest, Clue is a lousy game. The Game of Life is far better by all objective criteria.
What!?! Objectively? Come on! Clue is way better. Life gives you babies and then gives you points for having them? What? You should lose money. Seriously? What about the job market? We should be seeing much larger gaps between the high education jobs and the low ones. It has not held up well with time.

In clue you just have to guess who killed someone, what they killed them with, and where they did it. Classic and timeless.
 

DVD

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In clue you just have to guess who killed someone, what they killed them with, and where they did it. Classic and timeless.
Clue is also better for life skills. Life, have kids get money. Not in my experience.
Clue, granted murder doesn't happen everyday, but change the questions. Who did this report? What did the use to create it? Where did they get this data? As a childhood Clue expert and can make a list and slowly eliminate suspects.
 

Maister

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What!?! Objectively? Come on! Clue is way better. Life gives you babies and then gives you points for having them? What? You should lose money. Seriously? What about the job market? We should be seeing much larger gaps between the high education jobs and the low ones. It has not held up well with time..
Although you must admit the 'day of reckoning' thing at the end of the game has a certain illicit appeal. You know where you go the Poor House and sell your kids off for like $25k a piece. Hey, those science labs gotta do their experiments on someone. And where do you suppose human traffickers replenish their inventories?
 

WSU MUP Student

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The music classroom at my daughter's school has all sorts of equipment (pianos, full drum set, violins, guitars, ukuleles, etc.) and the teacher allows students who take lessons to bring in sheet music and play for the students for a few minutes at the start or end of the class.

Our daughter takes piano lessons, and for a 7-year-old who has just started and only goes a few times a month, she seems really good to me, especially since we can only convince her to practice about 10 minutes a week at home. But ever since she found out she could play in front of her friends she's been super into practicing at home, even on weeks she doesn't have piano lessons. I would have been the opposite and have been way too scared to play in front of the other kids in my school.
 

Maister

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So I get a call from the principal at Junior's middle school at lunch. No, he's not in any trouble, the reason for the call was to 'thank' Junior for reporting some 8th grade girl who was smoking cigarettes on school grounds. The school identified the girl and got in touch with her parents concerning her poor choices. Why the principal called to tell me this I really don't know, unless it was his oblique way of telling me 'yer kid's a freakin' low life INFORMER' [sigh]
Honest to god, I don't know what possessed my son to do that. He doesn't even know the girl, she's never committed any transgressions against him as far as I know, and I utterly fail to see what he believes he's gained by this. Maybe Junior just needs a lesson from this chick's ill-tempered chain smoking 8th grader boyfriend to show him the value of discretion.

What to say to Junior when I get home?
 

DVD

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I'd have to say he did the right thing, kind of. You only snitch on the big things that might hurt someone and schools take smoking as a big problem. Wouldn't want the bad girl to influence others into her bad habit. Just don't go snitching on everything because we all know snitches get stitches.
 

Maister

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I'd have to say he did the right thing, kind of. You only snitch on the big things that might hurt someone and schools take smoking as a big problem. Wouldn't want the bad girl to influence others into her bad habit. Just don't go snitching on everything because we all know snitches get stitches.
Reward him for snitching? Granted he doesn't live in the 'hood, but I think he needs to understand that snitching on the wrong folks in the wrong time and place can get you dead. I suppose he was technically correct in pointing out the behavior he observed was a violation of the rules, but Junior is NOT young Sheldon. I'm trying to grasp his possible motives here. I know he got bullied by some 8th grader a few weeks ago and maybe this is his way of claiming some sort of 'power' (at least in the abstract). Like, don't mess with me... or I'll narc on you and then you'll get grounded by your parents or given detention by the school. It sounds lame but then again he is only 12. At the same time I'd hate for him - especially in the age of social media - to acquire a reputation as a snitch.

I don't know, maybe I'm the one who's overthinking this.
 

WSU MUP Student

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^ In regards to snitches getting stitches... Before I'd make a decision on what to do in the situation, I'd try to understand why he reported her to the authorities.

If it was out of spite, I'd advise him that it probably wasn't the wisest of choices. If it was out of some sort of altruistic regard for his fellow student body... I'd probably still advise him that it wasn't the wisest of choices but maybe ask if he could think of a different way to handle the situation so the girl still got the message and he didn't come off as a busy body.

In the end, if he really was doing it because he felt it was the right thing to do I'd hate for him to come away from it feeling he did something wrong.




On a related note, I always send anonymous messages to our HR and Facilities folks when coworkers are standing right in front of the entrance/exit and smoking when they know they are supposed to go to the designated smoking area.
 

DVD

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In the end, if he really was doing it because he felt it was the right thing to do I'd hate for him to come away from it feeling he did something wrong.
That's the key right there. He didn't do anything wrong, but there might be better ways to handle it. Maybe try the casual, "What's the deal with the kid smoking at school?" question and let Junior tell the story. Maybe conversation ensues from there?

'10 Worst Toys' list includes swords, drones, fidget spinners
https://www.usatoday.com/story/money/retail/2017/11/14/10-worst-toys-of-2017-list/862445001/


World Against Toys Causing Harm, Inc. (W.A.T.C.H.)
https://toysafety.org/toy-safety/2017-10-worst-toy-list/
Yes today's toys are deadly, but not like our toys! I have a giant scar from barbed wire, broke my wrist a couple times, a good scar on my chin, the list goes on. How we survived childhood is a wonder.

Also this:
https://www.nbc.com/saturday-night-live/video/irwin-mainway/n8641
 

kms

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So I get a call from the principal at Junior's middle school at lunch. No, he's not in any trouble, the reason for the call was to 'thank' Junior for reporting some 8th grade girl who was smoking cigarettes on school grounds. The school identified the girl and got in touch with her parents concerning her poor choices. Why the principal called to tell me this I really don't know, unless it was his oblique way of telling me 'yer kid's a freakin' low life INFORMER' [sigh]
Honest to god, I don't know what possessed my son to do that. He doesn't even know the girl, she's never committed any transgressions against him as far as I know, and I utterly fail to see what he believes he's gained by this. Maybe Junior just needs a lesson from this chick's ill-tempered chain smoking 8th grader boyfriend to show him the value of discretion.

What to say to Junior when I get home?
Reward him for snitching? Granted he doesn't live in the 'hood, but I think he needs to understand that snitching on the wrong folks in the wrong time and place can get you dead. I suppose he was technically correct in pointing out the behavior he observed was a violation of the rules, but Junior is NOT young Sheldon. I'm trying to grasp his possible motives here. I know he got bullied by some 8th grader a few weeks ago and maybe this is his way of claiming some sort of 'power' (at least in the abstract). Like, don't mess with me... or I'll narc on you and then you'll get grounded by your parents or given detention by the school. It sounds lame but then again he is only 12. At the same time I'd hate for him - especially in the age of social media - to acquire a reputation as a snitch.

I don't know, maybe I'm the one who's overthinking this.
I'd tell him that you got a call from the principal, ask ask your son for his version of the story. Who knows - maybe someone who dislikes the girl put him up to reporting this; it is junior high, after all. Ask him what he thinks will come of this.

This is the time when he needs to know he can tell you things and you won’t over-react, because you want him that know that he can talk to you about things.

I didn’t overreact to things my kids told me, and they were often surprised that I didn’t. I can’t believe some of the things they confide in me now. But in the end, they know that I’ll listen and try to help if they need help.
 

Planit

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Gonna brag a little. The Girl had a very busy schedule this fall. She is in the marching band which took a lot more time than any of us thought. She also takes dance and travel club soccer. We had 1 night a week (Monday) where we weren't running somewhere in the evening. With that busy schedule, she also brought home straight As.

Marching season is over and her band teacher told her she needed to audition for All-county Band. She was selected for AC Symphonic Band with a concert in the middle of December. She said her band teacher wants her to audition for District Band now.

Club soccer ended and she wanted to stay active over the winter to get ready for HS soccer in the spring (she is 1 of 2 freshman the HS soccer coach has asked about - the other is a teammate on her club team). On her own, she tried out for the swim team and made it (she has never swam competitively). Her first meet is tonight. HS soccer try outs are 5 days after the last meet in February.

I am concerned about her doing too much and she knows if grades start to fall some activity will have to go. As a freshman, she has jumped into high school with both feet and doing it well.
 

Gedunker

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A couple of things I found interesting (and made me feel very old) with my daughter recently.

1) We bought some "Sunny D" at the grocery and when she tried it, I smelled it and thought it smelled exactly like TANG. She had no idea what TANG was.
2) We were driving and I noticed a Datsun B-210 and pointed it out to her. She looked at me blankly and I had to tell her Datsun was the forerunner name of today's Nissan. She had no clue.

Finally, why do we say "dial the phone" when there is no dial? Do kids today even know what a "dial" is/was?8-!
 

Maister

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Finally, why do we say "dial the phone" when there is no dial? Do kids today even know what a "dial" is/was?8-!
Sure, it's the thing you get up to turn when you change the channels on tv
 

dandy_warhol

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Option 1:
Stay in current area, move to slightly better public school district, increase mortgage payment slightly. Send Itty Bitty to public school. Have $ available to enjoy life. Live 30 minutes from parents (Itty Bitty is super bonded to them). Hubby has 1 hour commute. I have 10 minute commute.

Option 2:
Move to new area, better services, more opportunities for everything. Live in good school district, increase mortgage payment moderately. Send Itty Bitty to private Montessori school. Have limited $ to enjoy life. Live 2 hours from parents. Hubby has 1.25 hr commute. I have 30 minute commute.

Option 3:
No idea.



How much is a good education worth?
 

Planit

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Option 1:
Stay in current area, move to slightly better public school district, increase mortgage payment slightly. Send Itty Bitty to public school. Have $ available to enjoy life. Live 30 minutes from parents (Itty Bitty is super bonded to them). Hubby has 1 hour commute. I have 10 minute commute.

Option 2:
Move to new area, better services, more opportunities for everything. Live in good school district, increase mortgage payment moderately. Send Itty Bitty to private Montessori school. Have limited $ to enjoy life. Live 2 hours from parents. Hubby has 1.25 hr commute. I have 30 minute commute.

Option 3:
No idea.



How much is a good education worth?

I don't understand. Option 2 says "live in a good school district...send Itty Bitty to private Montessori school" - that kinda counteracts each other.

I'd opt for Option 1. Unless the public school is on the very low end it will be fine. A lot of the education piece -IMHO- is on the parents and how active they are in their child's education. Additionally there are some very good after-school programs for additional opportunities if so desired/needed/required. The only thing I've ever said to The Girl's teachers was "keep her challenged" & I know a couple teachers that gave their really good students an extra assignment or two to do just that.

Option 2 sacrifices many family-options because of lack/restricted of time & money. That extra 15 mins for hubby & 20 mins for you will add up. The other piece of that is (& I know for personal experience) when you need to pick Itty Bitty up because she's sick at school or similar, you be farther away & longer to make it.
 

WSU MUP Student

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Option 1:
Stay in current area, move to slightly better public school district, increase mortgage payment slightly. Send Itty Bitty to public school. Have $ available to enjoy life. Live 30 minutes from parents (Itty Bitty is super bonded to them). Hubby has 1 hour commute. I have 10 minute commute.

Option 2:
Move to new area, better services, more opportunities for everything. Live in good school district, increase mortgage payment moderately. Send Itty Bitty to private Montessori school. Have limited $ to enjoy life. Live 2 hours from parents. Hubby has 1.25 hr commute. I have 30 minute commute.

Option 3:
No idea.



How much is a good education worth?
We're committed to giving our children the best education General Mills box tops can provide!



On the serious tip though.... Based off of the options you listed, everything else equal, I'd shoot for Option #1. All of the commute times are lower, you have more money left to enjoy life, you are closer to your parents, and your mortgage payment sees a smaller increase than in Option #2.

I'm curious though - you list both options as being in good public school districts. Why not send the child to public school in Option #2? How "good" of a school district is it? I cannot imagine buying a home in an area where I would count the district as being one of the assets that weighed positively on my decision to purchase there, pay all those property taxes, and then not send my kids to those public schools, unless the private schools are so totally awesome and so close to the house that they were the reason to purchase.
 

dandy_warhol

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I don't understand. Option 2 says "live in a good school district...send Itty Bitty to private Montessori school" - that kinda counteracts each other.

I'd opt for Option 1. Unless the public school is on the very low end it will be fine. A lot of the education piece -IMHO- is on the parents and how active they are in their child's education. Additionally there are some very good after-school programs for additional opportunities if so desired/needed/required. The only thing I've ever said to The Girl's teachers was "keep her challenged" & I know a couple teachers that gave their really good students an extra assignment or two to do just that.

Option 2 sacrifices many family-options because of lack/restricted of time & money. That extra 15 mins for hubby & 20 mins for you will add up. The other piece of that is (& I know for personal experience) when you need to pick Itty Bitty up because she's sick at school or similar, you be farther away & longer to make it.
We're committed to giving our children the best education General Mills box tops can provide!



On the serious tip though.... Based off of the options you listed, everything else equal, I'd shoot for Option #1. All of the commute times are lower, you have more money left to enjoy life, you are closer to your parents, and your mortgage payment sees a smaller increase than in Option #2.

I'm curious though - you list both options as being in good public school districts. Why not send the child to public school in Option #2? How "good" of a school district is it? I cannot imagine buying a home in an area where I would count the district as being one of the assets that weighed positively on my decision to purchase there, pay all those property taxes, and then not send my kids to those public schools, unless the private schools are so totally awesome and so close to the house that they were the reason to purchase.
The Montessori schools we are looking at in Option #2 are only through 9th grade, so we would want to send Itty Bitty to a good high school after the investment in private school!!!!!!!!!!!!


I am having a really difficult time imagining Itty Bitty stuck in a chair for 6-7 hours of her life (she can do that when she's a public servant /snark). The only Montessori school in our area is not an option because I happened to visit on the day the lead teacher decided to PROVE to the children (3-6yo) that Santa does not exist.
 

Maister

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The only Montessori school in our area is not an option because I happened to visit on the day the lead teacher decided to PROVE to the children (3-6yo) that Santa does not exist.
Afterwards, did this same teacher lead the children in a rousing session of snapping-wet-towels-at-kittens-and-puppies?:-c
 

Gedunker

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Thinking back about the decision to send our kids to private school: I don't think they did markedly better academically than they would have in public school. Spiritually, they are both atheist, so that was a waste of money (as I predicted). They both had a positive socialization experience (both are special needs), but I'm not sure they wouldn't have had the same in public school. My son experienced some bullying early on in high school, my daughter none. He might have had a rougher time in public school, but there's no way to be sure.

If I had the decision to make over, I would have saved the money, and sent them to public school. With the money saved (and put into a 529 plan) they probably could have to gone to college debt free, for the most part.
 

WSU MUP Student

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I am having a really difficult time imagining Itty Bitty stuck in a chair for 6-7 hours of her life (she can do that when she's a public servant /snark)...
Have you checked out your local public schools and gone in for a tour? Ours is not anything like what I imagined and just glancing into the classrooms you'd be hard pressed to distinguish it from most Montessori schools (except for the number of kids in the class, but that varies and I'm happy with the class sizes we've had so far) and based on what what I've seen in the curriculum (granted, we're only into the second grade) and what I've heard from parents with older kids and what I know about Montessori programs, our public school is much closer to that, and nothing like the traditional old-school elementary program that I had or that most people are probably familiar with.

However, I understand there can be huge differences from one public district to another, and even among the individual schools within a district.
 

Veloise

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The Montessori schools we are looking at in Option #2 are only through 9th grade, so we would want to send Itty Bitty to a good high school after the investment in private school!!!!!!!!!!!!


I am having a really difficult time imagining Itty Bitty stuck in a chair for 6-7 hours of her life (she can do that when she's a public servant /snark). The only Montessori school in our area is not an option because I happened to visit on the day the lead teacher decided to PROVE to the children (3-6yo) that Santa does not exist.
High school is a very long way off. I would stick with what you've got due to proximity to your back-ups.

As for the Montessori Santa issue...maybe meet with the principal about that?
 

kms

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Thinking back about the decision to send our kids to private school: I don't think they did markedly better academically than they would have in public school. Spiritually, they are both atheist, so that was a waste of money (as I predicted). They both had a positive socialization experience (both are special needs), but I'm not sure they wouldn't have had the same in public school. My son experienced some bullying early on in high school, my daughter none. He might have had a rougher time in public school, but there's no way to be sure.

If I had the decision to make over, I would have saved the money, and sent them to public school. With the money saved (and put into a 529 plan) they probably could have to gone to college debt free, for the most part.
This.

Take a look at some public schools before you decide. My boys did so-so in catholic school and thrived in public school. Private schools might not offer some of the extra classes like home ec, shop and real art. The catholic school art class was sorely lacking in a certified art teacher.
 

mendelman

Unfrozen Caveman Planner
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Option #1

Unless the pub SD in this option is operationally behind the times, elementary age kids don't 'sit' for hours on end anymore. My three sons are all elementary age and at the same public school right now and they are up and moving around all the time.

At my sons' school, the 3rd grade rotates everyday between the 3 classes for specific subjects. It gets the kids up and going a little throughout the day.

I went to a private Christian school from 1st-8th and it was ok, but then moved to the public SD for high school. The private school was ok for 1st-8th, but fell apart academically in 9th-12th (which my older brother and sister had to endure). We had a good local public SD and I think my parents somewhat regretted paying for the private school for so long, as I would have been just fine and likely better challenged in the public schools.

My wife and I have never once considered private school (apart from nursery/preschools). We are (and appears you guys are too) in a socioeconomic position to choose school districts.

Also, remember, whether you child goes to the local public SD or not, you're still paying for the public SD.

So, choose....wisely.
 

dandy_warhol

Cyburbian
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8,996
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Well, I mentioned option #2 to my mother in a purely hypothetical sense and she said it would cause her heart to shrivel up and die. So there's that.


Perfect world scenario I would like to send Itty Bitty to Montessori just for the first few years to set a good foundation but Ms. Santa-Slayer nixed that idea. The public schools around here are not bad by any means but they do follow the Common Core curriculum which has its pluses and minuses.
 
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