This is really helpful! I think I’m going to try the MagicJack since that will probably go over better than the cell phone with the social worker. But I’ll keep this in mind if that doesn’t work. The only issue with the MagicJack is that it depends on the internet being up, and when it goes out, it sometimes stays down for days.
From the article:
Not waking a 4 year old for a brief trip into a store seems perfectly reasonable. It can make the whole rest of the day better compared to waking them up and having them be cranky on you for the entire day -- and possibly into the next day. Some kids have a hard time getting enough sleep.
Oh, jeez. Seriously? "How dare she stand up for herself when she's done nothing wrong!"
Exactly. I don't leave my kiddo in the car when it's hot. I have run into the convenience store while she was knocked out asleep and I could see her for all of two minutes. As a little kid I remember staying in the car like you did (in Phoenix) when my mom went places and I didn't want to go.
Yeah, parenting is a responsibility 24/7. You don't ever really get to completely put it down. And a lot of people aren't really prepared for that.
Every parent is overwhelmed and stressed out. You just learn to manage it over time. Routine is key.
This is a HUGE change for you, and you're bound to feel stressed. It sounds like you have a good support system.
You are doing the best you can, don't be hard on yourself!! It's hard to spend 6 consecutive days with family members without needing a break and time to yourself, let alone with someone (or two someones) that you aren't familiar with and don't have a history with.
Keep in mind that most parents have several months lead time of anticipation and prep...then they get a baby who (I've heard) sleeps a lot and smiles cutely. You're jumping into the deep end!
On the brief ride into school this morning I had to give my older son 10 pushups and my younger one 30 :lmao: but by the time we got to preschool I could tell he was trying to find another word to describe his dissatisfaction with life. That sort of thing is surprisingly effective.My kids keep saying they "hate" this and "hate" that and it's getting frustrating, especially with my younger one. So yesterday evening I said that every time they say the word "hate" they have to do 10 pushups, to become more aware of how often they say that word and give them incentive to find other verbage. I said I'll do it too, although I only use that word when it's contextually appropriate.
I like that! That's some Parris Island Drill Instructor remediation right there!My kids keep saying they "hate" this and "hate" that and it's getting frustrating, especially with my younger one. So yesterday evening I said that every time they say the word "hate" they have to do 10 pushups, to become more aware of how often they say that word and give them incentive to find other verbage. I said I'll do it too, although I only use that word when it's contextually appropriate.
When mini WYP was little, I had to learn to be careful what I said and listened to.
!@#$%^&^%$#$@!#$% coming out of a 3 yo girl is only cute for so long. That and is wasn't worth a lecture from the ex.
Hahaha having a martial art instructor fiance and kids that are now into martial arts has enhanced my repertoire of behavior modification tools. :lmao: I don't make them do stuff like that often but it's effective at times and watching a 4-year old do pushups is adorable.
Moving closer to one set of grandparents moves you further away from the other set. Also, there are no guarantees that the GPs' health and mobility will continue.
That bolded part was my initial thought as well.
1) The NH grandparents have discussed retiring down south. NC is a possibility
Do you feel that this is healthy for *any* relationship? At some point, you start to feel like the joint proprietors of a child care center instead of a couple. I think it's a dangerous path to go down.
My second child was born in Germany. No subway experience, but we did take buses a fair amount, biked, ans walked. I pretty quickly abandoned the stroller for strapping baby to my chest, wearing a backpack to carry stuff and putting toddler on my shoulders. I had a baby seat on my bike and biked with the oldest until I was like 8 months pregnant.
Everybody's situation, what they want in their relationship, and how they like to spend their time together is different. We do meet for lunch on occasion during the day, so we get some time to ourselves that way and both of our children are routinely in bed and asleep by 8:30 p.m. (the 2-year-old hits the rack at 7:15 and is usually out within about 10 minutes, the 8-year-old is in bed most nights by 8:00 and asleep by 8:30) so we also have a few hours to ourselves nearly every night but even before we were married, it's not like we were out partying or hitting up the bars and restaurants with any sort of routine. Before we had kids, a typical date would be just a walk around the neighborhood or to the ice cream store together, we don't mind doing that with the kids in tow. We did (and do still) like to go to the movies but we'd rather relax with each other on the couch or the patio most nights.
How do wheelchair users access the subways? (When I take a sousaphone to DC, I've used the Metro elevators.)
It seems like 90% of the meltdowns our daughter had when she was about 5-7 years old basically boiled down to time management. The economist in me tried explaining the concept of opportunity cost to her and how if she decides to do Action A that's less time she'll have for Action B, C, D, etc. She didn't quite get it so I got the bright idea to use the whiteboard on her little easel: One evening before dinner I drew a big square and divided into a bunch of little boxes. I knew that usually she would take forever (with some time dedicated to whining) to eat dinner and then need a bath or shower and she'd want to play and also go outside and do a bunch of other things. Before dinner I told her each box on the whiteboard represented 5 minutes and when they were all erased it was her bedtime. During dinner I erased a few boxes while she was wasting time whining about things and then she saw a whole bunch get erased while she was supposed to be getting ready for her shower and she saw how much playtime she would have start to dwindle. We did this a couple nights in a row and she finally got the hint that her choices of what to do in the present limit her options of what she can do in the future. She's 8 now and quite a bit better with her time management but every once in a while I still have to draw a bunch of boxes on the whiteboard.
This is GENIUS!
Natural consequences like that suck as a parent but are important for the kids to experience, as a learning tool. She will likely make sure she has her bookbag from now on. I've been getting serious with my boys about "first time listening" because school day mornings and evenings are a lot harder when I have to tell/remind them five times to do things.
| This is a good idea!
That is brilliant idea. I which I would have known about when mini WYP was little.
NYC metro is tough. I totally understand. It costs a crap ton to have kids here and there is no freaking way I'd do it in NYC proper for reasons you have cited. Most of my NYC friends have left the city for the suburbs or NJ once they had the 2nd kid.
With great difficulty. About 80% of the stations are not accessible AT ALL to wheelchair users and at the ones that are the elevators are frequently out of order.
Keep them fed. Keep them hydrated. Keep them entertained.
I recommend earbuds, some Iggy & the Stooges, and a highly engaged spouse seated next to you to deal with 'em.
v:
Nyquil or Benadryl shots for everyone except the driver.
I, on the other hand, think my boys should have been doing this for years (I have 3rd, 4th and 5th grade boys). Especially since our house is .9 miles from the school building, using neighborhood sidewalks and only crossing a narrow arterial with full lighted crossings.
This is so helpful. I cant thank you enough.
