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The NEVERENDING Raising Children Thread

Planit

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The Girl went off for the first time to middle school today. Mrs. P was weeping this morning. Even the bus driver said "I can't believe she's already in middle school."

The Girl was excited/nervous but said it's all good. She said, "I have a 7th grader friend & an 8th grader friend that want to sit with me on the bus & that's a big deal when you're a 6th grader dad!" I was told. Another chapter begins.
 
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Three boys - 5, 6 & 7.

We generally start it around 7pm and try to be done with the routine and in bed by 7:30p, but it usually ends up being about 7:45-8p.

The 6 and 7 year old are good with going to sleep right away, but the 5 year old is still in a "I can not go to sleep" routine for about another 30-60 minutes.

And he actually uses 'can not'. It is funny to hear a 5 year old avoid contractions. :D
I blame it on today's kids not being stuck watching only ABC and Schoolhouse Rock. Maybe Disney needs to show more of those and less of the crap they show on all those Disney and ABC Family networks. (Yeah just spent two weeks at sis's house in Laguna Beach, CA babysitting. The kids would rather watch the lamest trash in the world than go with their uncle exploring, so what did the urban planner/geography uncle do for vacation? Watch terrible TV! with the promise that this show is almost over, well the TV never went off, dammed kids!).
 

mendelman

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I blame it on today's kids not being stuck watching only ABC and Schoolhouse Rock. Maybe Disney needs to show more of those and less of the crap they show on all those Disney and ABC Family networks. (Yeah just spent two weeks at sis's house in Laguna Beach, CA babysitting. The kids would rather watch the lamest trash in the world than go with their uncle exploring, so what did the urban planner/geography uncle do for vacation? Watch terrible TV! with the promise that this show is almost over, well the TV never went off, dammed kids!).
Except in our house the best they can count on is PBS cartoons (which end at 6p and are actually pretty great and educational) or I Dream of Genie on MeTV, because we don't have cable. Our TV is over-the-air. Though the boys know how to load and run the DVD player now, so cutting them off at bedtime is hit or miss. Though, at least with the DVD player, you stop it and the show can be restarted at the same place the next day.

That would suck to be stuck indoors in Laguna Beach, CA. I would be chomping at the bit to get out and explore the area/oceanfront. So sad for those kids.....:-|
 
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I'm still lucky to have kids I can physically pick up and move to where I want them so I don't get that much of an argument, yet.
I miss those days. Nothing my son hated more than when he would have a meltdown in a public place and I would pick him up and carry him away. It wasn't that he feared a lecture in a more private place or corporal punishment. It was just suffering the indignity of being treated like a sack of flour. That alone was usually enough to calm him down and let his temper cool.

My son used to be very easy to parent. He and I used to talk a lot. When we had a problem we could talk it out. It took a little longer but it worked.

Now I have a teenager. He doesn't want to talk. He flies off the handle at the slightest indication that he needs to correct his behavior. He is too big to pick up. Too stubborn to reason with. And frankly I am just tired of having the same arguments every damn day.

I grew up in a family that had little family strife. I disagreed with some of the things my parents decreed, but I didn't buck them. I did as I was told.

Now I live in a house with constant family strife. Obviously I wasn't paying enough attention to what my mom was doing to manage children. Wish she was still around to tell me what the hell I am doing wrong.
 
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Except in our house the best they can count on is PBS cartoons (which end at 6p and are actually pretty great and educational) or I Dream of Genie on MeTV, because we don't have cable. Our TV is over-the-air. Though the boys know how to load and run the DVD player now, so cutting them off at bedtime is hit or miss. Though, at least with the DVD player, you stop it and the show can be restarted at the same place the next day.

That would suck to be stuck indoors in Laguna Beach, CA. I would be chomping at the bit to get out and explore the area/oceanfront. So sad for those kids.....:-|
Never drank the cable Kool-Aid either. Detroit never had it when I was a kid, so I don't miss what I never had. Seems like a lot of $$$ for more crappy TV. I guess they don't know any better, but it is mindless poorly written trash with no educational content. They don't see why two hours of driving on the PCH or hitting San Juan Capistrano to check out the history/culture is any big deal. Was in Staples and Office Depot 4 times to pick out school supplies though! :-@
 

wahday

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We don’t have cable either. And I never did as a kid. I thought my parents were just being luddites or unduly cruel, but turns out they were right – it IS a waste of time and money!

TV viewing seems almost innocent to me now. With an almost 14 year old and an almost 9 year old, the proliferation of online gaming, forums, etc. are our foes of late (cause we also don’t have any game stations or wii’s or what-have-yous). Its not all bad and some of it just reflects how out of touch I am with the realities of young people (though don’t get me started on “Animal Jam”). But for me the key is BALANCE. These activities should not dominate your personal time. They should be complimented with going outside and being active, making art/music, interacting with your out-of-touch parents or friends and doing chores like the good indentured servants they are.

Otterpop, I think what you described is typical adolescent behavior. That or you have been over to my house an awful lot lately. The moodiness, the flying off the handle at things that I can’t for the life of me figure out the problem with – its all part of the package it seems. Not that I am any expert or am weathering it any better than you. I just have a teenager too and watched in horror while my brother survived his. “Temporary insanity” was how one parent described adolescence. I like that description because it means I don’t need to sweat the small stuff and I know that its actually a tunnel we are going through and not just a deep, dark hole into the center of hell where I will suffer the emotional abuse of my son for all eternity.
 

kjel

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Teenage years: when the aliens come down from outer space and take up residence inside your formerly agreeable/happy kid and make them into an unpleasant creature that you cannot have even the simplest conversation without it turning into a drama. Years 14-17 were the hardest. My typical saying, "I love you, but I don't really like you right now."

She turned 21 today 8-!
 

mendelman

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She turned 21 today 8-!
And only ~12 years till your next teenage girl. :-c

I don't have any girls, but will have three teenage boys at one time, so I should pay attention to what's happening in the otterpop house. :-|
 
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Now I have a teenager. He doesn't want to talk. He flies off the handle at the slightest indication that he needs to correct his behavior. He is too big to pick up. Too stubborn to reason with. And frankly I am just tired of having the same arguments every damn day. .
This is called growing up. All these battles is your son taking the reins for his own life. Things maybe felt calm to you when you were a kid, but your mom probably felt much like you do now.

For all parents of adolescent sons, I recommend this book:

 

Rygor

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My wife and I are both very agreeable people who don't like conflict. I don't think we've ever raised our voices at each other in the nearly 3 years we've been together. I'm seriously wondering how it's going to be when we have a toddler, and then a teenage girl with raging hormones, etc. I'm hoping she gets our personalities from both of our genes and just turns out to be a big dork and so is too busy getting into books and science experiments to care about typical lame teenage stuff.
 

Planit

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My wife and I are both very agreeable people who don't like conflict. I don't think we've ever raised our voices at each other in the nearly 3 years we've been together. I'm seriously wondering how it's going to be when we have a toddler, and then a teenage girl with raging hormones, etc. I'm hoping she gets our personalities from both of our genes and just turns out to be a big dork and so is too busy getting into books and science experiments to care about typical lame teenage stuff.
I truly hope all your hopes and dreams for this comes true. In the mean time, enjoy the ride 'cause it'll be a rollercoaster.
 

dvdneal

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My wife and I are both very agreeable people who don't like conflict. I don't think we've ever raised our voices at each other in the nearly 3 years we've been together. I'm seriously wondering how it's going to be when we have a toddler, and then a teenage girl with raging hormones, etc. I'm hoping she gets our personalities from both of our genes and just turns out to be a big dork and so is too busy getting into books and science experiments to care about typical lame teenage stuff.
You realize you may have just cursed yourself with a teenage girl with raging hormones. Good luck! I'll be there in about 5 years.
 

Planit

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A golfing buddy from our group passed away last Friday after a battle with cancer. He was 48 & has 2 kids, 11 & 7. The 11 year old is in The Girl's class and have been in the same class several years prior. They also see each other at the pool too.

Our golfing group were told Saturday morning of his passing. When I got home, I sat down to tell The Girl. I started out saying "You know _____'s dad has been very sick." She immediately got up and said "I know he's gone." and walked away. I found out later that another mom had called the house with the news.

Mrs. P said The Girl didn't want to talk about it. The only other time she's dealt with someone dying was a grandparent of a friend which she came to me a few days later and said she was sad about it. She seems to be handling it well but she does internalize things sometimes. I'm interested to see what happens when ____________ comes back to school next week.
 

dvdneal

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Every kid seems to handle it different. When my MIL died my 4 yo wanted to keep talking about all the things they used to do. My 7 yo didn't want to talk about it at all. After about 6 months she would start including Grams in pictures or things she would write down that she liked. Now, a year later, she has no problem talking about Grams, but she doesn't bring it up much.
 

kjel

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Every kid seems to handle it different. When my MIL died my 4 yo wanted to keep talking about all the things they used to do. My 7 yo didn't want to talk about it at all. After about 6 months she would start including Grams in pictures or things she would write down that she liked. Now, a year later, she has no problem talking about Grams, but she doesn't bring it up much.
RT was the same way when my mom passed in 2003. She was 9 and very close to her as we lived together as an intergenerational household for 7 of her 9 years. She had known she had been sick, had surgery, and was recuperating slowly but nobody expected her to pass away. She was very quiet, tears welled up in her eyes, and she said she wanted to be alone in her room for a while. I just hugged her tight, told her I loved her, that I understood how she was feeling, and to find me when she wanted to talk. It was heartbreaking, but you have to give them space to come to terms with it on their own.
 
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I cut my thumb yesterday evening and the only choices for bandages that I had were Muppets, Dora, or princesses. I went with Muppets.

Am I officially the father of a preschooler now?
 

dvdneal

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Yup, and it's better when you have all girls. I get choices like Dora, Princess, and Monster High (one of the kids is a little older). My best days are when they pick the bright colored band-aids with no characters on them.
 

Planit

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About 3 weeks ago, The Girl had a friend who father passed away. I posted about it in this thread earlier.

Yesterday we get home from an away soccer match (they lost a tough game 1-0) and she looks at her text messages. One of her very good friend's father passed away on Saturday evening. She was so upset and sad. She came to me on the sofa and just bawled. We just laid there for a while, I just held her in my arms. Poor kids - The Girl, the kid, that little group of friends.
 
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