• Ongoing coronavirus / COVID-19 discussion: how is the pandemic affecting your community, workplace, and wellness? 🦠

    Working from home? So are we. Come join us! Cyburbia is a friendly big tent, where we share our experiences and thoughts about urban planning practice, planning adjacent topics, and whatever else comes to mind. No ads, no spam, no social distancing.

This'll make all of the lonely Cyburbanites feel better.

Dan

Dear Leader
Staff member
Moderator
Messages
18,758
Points
69
jordanb said:
At least you're not this guy: http://www.fypl.info/

He's from Chicago, right? Maybe we can hook him up with good 'ol Mary.

Guy looks like a typical 1980s-era Buffalonian; some kind of person who drives a 1972 Chevrolet Nova or a 1974 Hurst Olds with a rear bumper plastered with 97 Rock stickers, works as a forklift driver for an auto parts distributor, and says "fuggin' a!" a lot. What's the deal with the guy's nose thingy?



Oh my Bob ... I just found his erotic photo gallery! Ewwwwwwww .....
 
Messages
7,649
Points
29
It is no wonder he has put up a website. Yeah, the way to make sure you "have a family" is to be so averse to personal interaction that you inform people to "read all instructions first before contacting me".

Errrr, let me read between the lines a smidgeon:
I have no desire to have any actual relationship with you. Please do not bother me unless you can be treated like a "baby factory" and have already decided that I am highly likely to be the man to have your express permission to knock you up and take the child from you (whom I will also treat like Possessions, even after they are legal adults). I am a busy and important man. I cannot be bothered by the likes of you unless and until you will sign on the dotted line.

I suspect he would be a tough sell via online dating services. That would involve too much chit-chat and interacting.
 

Dan

Dear Leader
Staff member
Moderator
Messages
18,758
Points
69
Michele Zone said:
I suspect he would be a tough sell via online dating services. That would involve too much chit-chat and interacting.

I'm a tough sell for online Internet dating. 12 letters out this weekend -- no form letters, nothing crude, no typos -- and only one reply. Not much demand for a 38 year (old), 5' 10" (short), 170 pound (fat), never married (unwanted) guy who only pulls in a few shy of $50K (poor).

Hey, girls ... whatcha' think of Dan?



Thought so.
 
Messages
7,649
Points
29
Dan said:
I'm a tough sell for online Internet dating. 12 letters out this weekend -- no form letters, nothing crude, no typos -- and only one reply. Not much demand for a 38 year (old), 5' 10" (short), 170 pound (fat), never married (unwanted) guy who only pulls in a few shy of $50K (poor).
You are just shopping in the wrong department, me thinks. You are a respectable guy with a brain. I do not hear "short" or "fat". Never Married means you bring no ex-wife and "step kids" along with you. Thirty eight or 40 is not that old for a guy to get married for the first time. You can marry someone a bit younger than you and still have a family, no biggie. No typos and nothing crude and no form letters means you are too intelligent and well-mannered for most of these women. And I would not recommend "online dating services".

I am 38. I am 2 inches shorter than you (tall for a woman -- not 'cute' and petite). Let's not talk weight. I have two teenaged sons, one of whom has multiple handicaps. A genetic disorder. And let's preserve my self-esteem and not go on with detailing my many other defects. ;) More than a year ago, a friend of mine "leaked" the info that I am planning on divorcing. I have the distinct impression that those details won't matter, when the time comes. :)
 

Zoning Goddess

Cyburbian
Messages
13,852
Points
39
Dan said:
I'm a tough sell for online Internet dating. 12 letters out this weekend -- no form letters, nothing crude, no typos -- and only one reply. Not much demand for a 38 year (old), 5' 10" (short), 170 pound (fat), never married (unwanted) guy who only pulls in a few shy of $50K (poor).

Hey, girls ... whatcha' think of Dan?

Since I'm well below average height, 5'10" sounds tall to me. Maybe you need to pursue some petite women (please don't tell me you only respond to ads from tall women, that will only reinforce my perception that most guys only want a tall skinny blonde...).

How does your description compare with other guys? There is always the chance that 11 of the 12 women didn't respond because other guys are posting more exciting (tho maybe not truthful) descriptions.
 

jordanb

Cyburbian
Messages
3,232
Points
25
Heh, I don't like girls who are taller than me, but I'm 6' 1' so that's not too much of a problem. Also I prefer brunettes to blonds. :-D
 

donk

Cyburbian
Messages
6,970
Points
30
I've only ever dated one girl near the same height as me, she was about 6'1, I'm 6'3.

Until recently, I had no height requirements, but after going on a date with someone that was lucky to stand 5'1, no more shorties.(sorry shorties).

Hair colour, not too important.
 
Last edited:

Wannaplan?

Bounty Hunter
Messages
3,221
Points
29
Dan said:
Hey, girls ... whatcha' think of Dan?

This does beg the converse question: How selective is Dan? I mean, I'm sure you pass over some of your females repsondents, as it does work both ways. Or is it so bad that you would take a 5' 1" blonde, 189 lbs, missing teeth, and one teen-age child?
 

SkeLeton

Cyburbian
Messages
4,853
Points
26
Geez, I kindda feel sorry for the guy... Oh well, I guess he could just stop looking and conform to be a lonely guy!

BTW: 5' 10" = short? WTF? Did the US become the land of giants all of the sudden?
Heck, I'm around 6 ft... and that's considered tall here... The normal here for men would be like 5' 9" - 5' 10" and women, even less, around 5' 5"
 

Seabishop

Cyburbian
Messages
3,838
Points
25
Whats so great about blonds? Whats wrong with the other 95% of women in the world who aren't blonds?

It seems that for most men internet dating is just asking for women to cross you off their lists unless you are a 6'9" muscleman, investment banker, with a red convertable who is a "good listener." If you're average, nice guy with a lot to offer in a relationship, its hard to put that across on paper - especially since the meatheads know how to say "nice-guy" things too.

Women are just as shallow as men in dating if not more so.
 

michaelskis

Cyburbian
Messages
20,232
Points
52
Dan said:
I'm a tough sell for online Internet dating. 12 letters out this weekend -- no form letters, nothing crude, no typos -- and only one reply. Not much demand for a 38 year (old), 5' 10" (short), 170 pound (fat), never married (unwanted) guy who only pulls in a few shy of $50K (poor).

Ok… Here I go…

DAN WAKE UP!!! Now that I have your attention, I have a few questions to ask, first of all, what about your self would you like to change… because the only think that I think that you NEED to change is your outlook in this. You seem to be so down on your self, and there is no reason… I am only an inch taller than you, and weigh about the same. You make more than I do, and your not that old by any standards. Fact is I think that the only thing that might be keeping you single is your lack of confidence in your self.

Let me tell you a story… there was this kid… his junior year of High School, he had serious problems with who he was. He had horrible acne, was 5’ 8” and only 120 Lbs. No muscle, and a very limited view of him self. He was quiet and shy, and did not talk to all that many people. He was terrified to ask out most of the attractive girls at his school, and thought that he would end up alone and miserable. The summer between his Freshman and Sophomore year of college, everything changed for him. He started to take a look at what made him different than the person he wanted to be. He realized that it was his confidence, and if he wanted to change something, it was up to him to do it… sitting there feeling bad for him self was not going to change anything. So he started to read self-help books, and work out from time to time. It started a chain reaction that has seemed to progress… this same quiet shy kid lost all fear of people he did not know, and even was a student presenter at a national conference, in front of a room of possible future employers and colleagues. After college he has a lot more full time and started to work out on a more regular basis, and that just aided his self-confidence. Even to the point that when he ran into some of the people he had not seen since High School, he they did not even know who he was… and several of the attractive girls from HS started to hit on him… Life just continued to get better… and today, I can say that at one point I had no confidence in who I was, and hated the way that I looked. I made it a point to change my confidence, and even though I am single, I have never been happier in my life as I am right now. Life is what you make of it, and if you just dwell on the current problems, the future will pass you by.

As for the guy on the web site… there is a line in the sand… and he ran it over at full speed and is long gone.
 

Nemesis

Member
Messages
51
Points
4
Dan, poor poor Buffalo. Come on, I know you are a booster, but spreading bad sterotypes. Having grown up in Buffalo myself you should know that his age bracket is all wrong for Novas, starwars painted vans or Pintos. His demographic is stricky Impala(not caprice Classic), Cutlass and not SS(thousand still in West Seneca), more likey Mom's or Grandmas K Car- Buffalo has mechancis that know how to keep them running. I would think that he might even still drive a 2 door Tempo. 50K in Buffalo is good. He might be able to live in Williamsville, if his house isn/t sinking. But more likely he is a Kenmore guy if he hasn/t had one to many DWI's from the Village Cops.
 

donk

Cyburbian
Messages
6,970
Points
30
Has EG emailed him yet to let him know we are talking about him?

Maybe he could hook up with our favourite billboard girl?
 

Dan

Dear Leader
Staff member
Moderator
Messages
18,758
Points
69
Wanigas? said:
This does beg the converse question: How selective is Dan? I mean, I'm sure you pass over some of your females repsondents, as it does work both ways. Or is it so bad that you would take a 5' 1" blonde, 189 lbs, missing teeth, and one teen-age child?

Not that bad, but not that picky, either. Physically speaking, I'm most attracted to women that don't seem larger than me; really, a US size 10 or smaller. Age range: I'm 38, and I'll go up to 42 or 43, and down to 30 or so. I only have a few Seinfeldian deal-breakers: gummy smiles and old-lady hair. Oh yeah ... prefer one kid or less. I don't respond to generic, cliche-filled profiles (white knights, candlelit dinners, walks along a moonlit beach, etc), and those that scream whiskey tango (blond dyed and feathered hair; squinty eyes; wolf t-shirts; being in her 30s or early 40s and mentioning grandchildren; mentioning NASCAR, motorcycles and trucks; etc).

Here's my match.com profile:

http://www.match.com/profile/showprofile.aspx?handle=elmwood

Here's some of the women I've sent e-mail to recently. (I'll delete the links in a couple of days, to protect their privacy ... even though they haven't written back)

EDIT: deleted links.
 

Kim Jong il

BANNED
Messages
3
Points
1
Comrade Dude,
Rugged it up a bit. Your ad screams Nice Sensible Thinking Man About Town. Most women want senseless self-destructive pigs they can change into Nice Sensible Thinking Men About Town.

Post this photo and watch the honies start dropping trou!

Just some advice from a fellow Playa!
 

Dan

Dear Leader
Staff member
Moderator
Messages
18,758
Points
69
Guns are a big, big no-no in the personal ad world. Same thing with pictures of killed game.

I don't look at men's profiles, but I've been told that many of them show the ad placer standing next to their toys (cars, boats, etc), or shirtless.
 
Messages
7,649
Points
29
Dan said:
Not that bad, but not that picky, either. Physically speaking, I'm most attracted to women that don't seem larger than me; really, a US size 10 or smaller.

Last I checked, the average height in the US was about 5' 5" for a woman -- and a size 14. Size 10 or smaller is kind of "picky" in my eyes. It is not terribly different from them wanting someone 6' 2" and "toned" -- and you are, as SkeL said, about average height. So, you are 'doing the same thing to them', so to speak, that you complain about having done to you. (That being said: just because it eliminates a lot of women right off the bat does not mean it is a criteria that should be ditched.)

Also, you need to work on finding a way to mingle with female brainiacs. You iz a brane (that is a saying on the shirt of a stuffed doll I have -- it sits on the shelf with all my academic awards and achievements) and most married couples have IQ's within about 10 points of each other. I think that is a major factor in why you and donk and cardinal are all "committed bachelors" (aka "desperate for a date" or your own totally erroneous description: Losers): You are all brilliant men. Donk and Cardinal further compound their problems by living "in the middle of nowhere". Donk's luck might improve after he moves.

If you get really desperate, you could look up an astrocartographer and have them tell you where on planet earth your "luck" with women would be better -- then go vacation there!. ;)
 

Wannaplan?

Bounty Hunter
Messages
3,221
Points
29
Dan said:
a US size 10 or smaller.

That's relatively thin, depending on height. Many double-digit women are already self-conscious of the double digits, let alone knowing many men already pass them over. I've met many wonderful, beautiful, smart, double-digit women in my day. What about you? Or is the extra thickness too much of a turn-off?
 

jordanb

Cyburbian
Messages
3,232
Points
25
Seabishop said:
Women are just as shallow as men in dating if not more so.

I'll admit that I'll only talk to a girl if I find her physically attractive, so I suppose that's shallow of me. OTOH, she'd have only made eyes at me because she thinks I'm attractive, so really, we're even there. But then when the first thing she wants to know is how much money I make, well, that tips the scales. I couldn't care less how much she makes. After superfically deciding that she's attractive, I've moved on to more substantive things, but she's still in superficial land trying to find out if I've got enough moolah to keep her entertained.

Of course, guys seem so superficial because they care most about looks. Girls care about looks too, but because most girls are whores, they'll nail anything the cat drug in as long as he's got enough bling bling. So people see some ogre walking down the street with a supermodel on his arm, and the old women whisper scurrilously to one another about him being so superficial when the only reason why the girl is even acknowledging his existence, let alone hanging from his arm, is because of the plastic with the high limit she's got in her purse.

I've heard it argued before that girls care about money because of the primal need to find a man capable of supporting her children, but I'm one of the most well-paid 21 year old college students I know. So you'd think that a girl could conclude that I've got my act together, but they don't care about. The college girls get turned off when they find out that, yes, I'm pretty well paid, but I'm supporting myself with that, so I don't have a ton of discretionary income. They'd rather go for the guy who's daddy is paying all of his expenses and cutting him a $100 a week check for throwing around money. It's obviously because they're whores. That kid might not have any future prospects, but he's got the cash to do a straight up gifts-for-sex transaction now, and that's what they want.
 

el Guapo

Capitalist
Messages
5,995
Points
31
jordanb said:
....but because most girls are whores, they'll nail anything the cat drug in as long as he's got enough bling bling....It's obviously because they're whores.....he's got the cash to do a straight up gifts-for-sex transaction now, and that's what they want.

Humm....I can't believe you seem have trouble keeping a relationship with a woman going. Your attitude towards women is so healthy.

I'll bet these women, or "whores" as you so delicately refer to them, need a good smacking too? It’s your duty to put a bling smacking on their Ho asses! You are a vastly superior person who owns no television. So get to it Playa. :-\

 

Dan

Dear Leader
Staff member
Moderator
Messages
18,758
Points
69
Wanigas? said:
Or is the extra thickness too much of a turn-off?

I wouldn't mind the extra thickness ... if I was thick myself. I'm not, though. Just as most women I know will only date men that are taller, if not a minimum of four to six inches/10 to 15 centimeters taller than themselves, I really don't find myself attracted to women that, for lack of a better word, have a greater physical presence than me. That doesn't mean I'll only date Barbies, but rather, I don't feel comfortable being a part of a "10 couple."

I know lots of wonderful larger plus-sized women, and I've struggled to make myself feel some sort of physical attraction, they were (and are) so great. I just can't. 10 or 15 extra pounds, no problem, but when they outweigh me, I just can't.

For some reason, society thinks it's a far greater sin for a man to not be attracted to larger women than for a woman to not be attracted to a shorter-than-average man. I feel fortunate that I'm 5' 10", because if I was just an inch shorter, my pool of potential dating aprtners on match.com would drop in half ... just like it increases by at least 50% when I up my income into the next higher bracket, and/or bump my height up by two inches.
 

jordanb

Cyburbian
Messages
3,232
Points
25
el Guapo said:
Humm....I can't believe you seem have trouble keeping a relationship with a woman going. Your attitude towards women is so healthy.[/img]

That's not my attitude towards women, that's my attitude towards whores. Remember reading is FUNdemental! As for my success with women... I could be in a meaningless relationship tomorrow if I cared to. I talk with girls every few days, and I'm nearly always the one to lose interest, typically because she manages to ask me what I "do" in the first five minutes. When a girl asks that, I know what kind of relationship she's after, and I know I'm not interested.

I don't have a girlfriend because the pool of nice girls is depressingly small, easily smaller than the pool of nice guys.
 

Dan

Dear Leader
Staff member
Moderator
Messages
18,758
Points
69
el Guapo said:
Humm....I can't believe you seem have trouble keeping a relationship with a woman going. Your attitude towards women is so healthy.

The language isn't the best choice, but I've witnessed the behavior jordanb describes firsthand.

Dating is a demonstration of Darwinism in action. Even though it's not necessary for women to find a rich husband anymore, since many are working professionals and financially stable themselves, the majority I've encountered still want their partner to make more money than they do. Just as many want to date a taller man, they also want to "date up." I see lots of women who classify their incomes as "$35K to $50K" looking for a man who makes at least $50K.. When you're in a profession that isn't know for an income that is commensurate with education, like urban planning, and you want to date other working professionals, this can be a real issue.*

I'm probably guilty of classism myself, but it's not so much income than it is education and intelligence. I have far more in common with a journalist for a small town newpaper who makes $20K, or a struggling artist who lives on ramen between NEA grants, than a woman who makes $20K waiting tables at Petro, $35K managing the local Burger King, or $75K performing lap dances.

I guess I'm not so much upset at women as a whole as I am at "society."

* The exception being a wonderful woman I dated when I was living in New Mexico. She's an attorney, and she's now married to an engineer whose income she dwarfs. Wish there was more like her ...
 

donk

Cyburbian
Messages
6,970
Points
30
I've been finding that women when they ask what I do, are trying to figure out more about me and how I think then what my pay check is (the last 2 dates I've had earn significantly more then I do and did not seem too concerned when I told them I'm a civil servant). I think this is especially true when you tell them you are a "planner". People either don't know what one is or are curious about the things you do and what drew you to the profession.

I won't even go into my preferred body and personality types. last time I did I got into trouble.
 

JNL

Cyburbian
Messages
2,449
Points
25
jordanb said:
I'm nearly always the one to lose interest, typically because she manages to ask me what I "do" in the first five minutes. .

This really really bugs me, when you meet someone and they ask "So what do you do?". I don't really mind talking about my job but it's the way the question is phrased that bugs me - sounds so judgemental. I refused to answer a guy directly the other day, instead I said "Well, I like to go swimming, I go to Pilates classes, I enjoy reading and cooking and spending time with my friends....". He was doing well up til then :-\

Sometimes I am interested in knowing about someone's work so I'll say (after we have been talking for a while not straight away!!) 'So where do you work' and then it's up to them if they want to elaborate on their actual position there.
 

michaelskis

Cyburbian
Messages
20,232
Points
52
JNL said:
"So what do you do?".


I LOVE THAT QUESTION! ;-)

My Job is alot like Kindergarden!!! :-D :-D

The best part is watch their reaction… When they look at me puzzled, I then explain that I get to draw, play with fun toys, I get to go out and play every once in a while, talk to people, and read some stuff that none of us quite understand, but we fake it well enough to make other people think we know what we are talking about. There is also snack time, and maybe even naptime (if I go home for lunch).
 

JNL

Cyburbian
Messages
2,449
Points
25
Yeah I need to figure out some good comebacks. Sometimes when asked "What do you do?", I'll say "When?".

When I say "Well my job title is researcher, built environment" I never fail to get blank looks.

Sometimes I just say I'm a spy...
 

Rumpy Tunanator

Cyburbian
Messages
4,473
Points
25
You guys got this thing all wrong. In order to pick up a decent girl today, you've got to make a bold move, like sort of a challenge. Forget all the hi, my name is _____ crap.

This girl was eying me and I was eying her back. Here's what I did, I challenged her to a game of Video Game Bowling. No introductions. Just drinking beer and playing VGB. Smoooothhhhhhhhhhhh.....
 
Messages
7,649
Points
29
donk said:
I won't even go into my preferred body and personality types. last time I did I got into trouble.
If you are referring to the whole "shopping for REAL women" fiasco, I am genuinely sorry you still feel burned over that. I felt burned too and I really don't want to rehash any of it. However, I think where you got into "trouble" was asking me to give my opinion PUBLICLY, instead of privately, like I offered, while I was suffering insomnia and drug withdrawal and ALSO feeling attacked from all sides.

Can we put this to rest? I am not keen on "holding grudges" or some such. I did all that nearly dying. It divested me of a lot of baggage. I have no desire to add to my baggage now that I have learned to Travel Light (or with a light heart, at least). And I have no desire to add to yours.

Peace.
 
Messages
7,649
Points
29
jordanb said:
It's obviously because they're whores. That kid might not have any future prospects, but he's got the cash to do a straight up gifts-for-sex transaction now, and that's what they want.

I do have sympathy for your point of view. I totally and completely agree that much of the ickiness that passes for "relationships" between men and women boils down to "gifts for sex". I do not agree it is because women are all "whores". I think it would be more accurate to say that society likes to pimp women to the needs of men and when we find ourselves damned if we do, damned if we don't, well, getting SOMETHING out of it instead of getting nothing whatsoever while being used sounds like the best that a lot of women can "hope" for.

In a society where insurance companies pay for Viagra (because a 60 year old man whose dick has ceased to stand at attention on its own is ENTITLED to enjoy all the sex he wants) but those same insurance companies often will NOT pay for birth control pills for women (because a young and still fertile woman is a WHORE and should PAY, both literally and figuratively, for the crime of enjoying her own body -- and never mind that if she is on the pill it is because some man is also enjoying her body, no kitten killing or lesbians involved, thanks) is it any wonder women get a tad calloused and quit doing it out of the goodness of their hearts and start asking "What's in it for ME?"
 

Dan

Dear Leader
Staff member
Moderator
Messages
18,758
Points
69
[ot]
Michele Zone said:
In a society where insurance companies pay for Viagra (because a 60 year old man whose dick has ceased to stand at attention on its own is ENTITLED to enjoy all the sex he wants) but those same insurance companies often will NOT pay for birth control pills for women (because a young and still fertile woman is a WHORE and should PAY, both literally and figuratively, for the crime of enjoying her own body -- and never mind that if she is on the pill it is because some man is also enjoying her body, no kitten killing or lesbians involved, thanks) is it any wonder women get a tad calloused and quit doing it out of the goodness of their hearts and start asking "What's in it for ME?"

A double standard, I know. One, however, I'd feel more sympathetic about if there was even just one "Run for Testicular Cancer" or "10K for Prostate Cancer", let alone a "Pattern Baldness Walk."

Sorry for the recent mysogony. It's not becoming of me, but it's the way I've felt lately. Treating men like crap because your cheap HMO doesn't pay for birth control doesn't really seem to make sense, though[/ot]
 

donk

Cyburbian
Messages
6,970
Points
30
I also try not to hold grudges, I try to learn from my mistakes/misspeaks.

I was trying to point out that attributes that people find attractive are different and can sometimes lead to problems when expressed to others that you don't know that well.


Michele Zone said:
If you are referring to the whole "shopping for REAL women" fiasco, I am genuinely sorry you still feel burned over that. I felt burned too and I really don't want to rehash any of it. However, I think where you got into "trouble" was asking me to give my opinion PUBLICLY, instead of privately, like I offered, while I was suffering insomnia and drug withdrawal and ALSO feeling attacked from all sides.

Can we put this to rest? I am not keen on "holding grudges" or some such. I did all that nearly dying. It divested me of a lot of baggage. I have no desire to add to my baggage now that I have learned to Travel Light (or with a light heart, at least). And I have no desire to add to yours.

Peace.
 
Messages
7,649
Points
29
Dan said:
[ot]

A double standard, I know. One, however, I'd feel more sympathetic about if there was even just one "Run for Testicular Cancer", "10K for Prostate Cancer", let alone a "Pattern Baldness Walk."

Sorry for the recent mysogony. It's not becoming of me, but it's the way I've felt lately. Treating men like crap because your cheap HMO doesn't pay for birth control doesn't really seem to make sense, though[/ot]
I don't think it is as simple as that. I think it is a "symptom" of larger issues. It is indicative of a particular mindset.

As for the run for cancer stuff, most medical research is done on men. For many years, research on heart disease did not include any men at all. And a doctor told me once that they did all that brain research solely on men and the first time they hooked a woman up to see her brain in action, they freaked out and thought something must be terribly wrong because it didn't fit any pattern they knew. Also, insurance and research often covers "typically" male diseases -- such as heart disease -- while giving short shrift to 'typically' female illnesses. I am thinking pneumnia in the elderly is a "female" illness that has been neglected.

My point is just that while I do understand and largely agree with some of jordanb's point of view, I think it is erroneous and not helpful to blame "women". It is something bigger than just individuals.

I am kind of puzzled by your reply and feel like there must some kind of "disconnect". Sigh. Male-female communication issues are just endless, aren't they?
 
Messages
7,649
Points
29
donk said:
I also try not to hold grudges, I try to learn from my mistakes/misspeaks.

I was trying to point out that attributes that people find attractive are different and can sometimes lead to problems when expressed to others that you don't know that well.
Well I have also been kind of careful about my comments about "what I want in a man" for the same reason. I just thought that noting "what happened to me last time" was ... baggage, not "been there, done that, got the T-shirt and now I am older and wiser". lol. I also think you are placing too much of the "blame" on yourself. There is plenty to go around for that particular incident. I could see it all while it went down, how it all interacted, but seeing it doesn't necessarily mean you can stop it, try though you might.

I know, I shouldn't do this at nearly 6am, having been up all night. But when you say stuff like that, I hear echoes of your dating woes -- and it bothers me because I know about these types of social issues in gifted individuals and I think a great deal of your 'problem' is "high IQ living in a rural area". If you are in a tiny percentage of the population, where you would have to live in a huge city to have much hope of having friends like you, living in a rural community practically guarantees that you just can't kind find anyone to date who is like you.

Many of the people on tag lists have international, inter-racial, etc, marriages. Once you get up past a certain IQ range, you kind of have to throw the net very wide to have any real hope. But every time I try to say stuff like that here, I get villified for suggesting a forum filled with people with college degrees -- quite a lot of them with Master's -- might have above average IQ's. (I still would like to know why I got a "yellow card" and accused of making a "personal attack" for repeating the jokes Dan and others make about themselves being 'desperate' -- especially when I find that funny precisely because I don't agree at all with the conclusion that you guys are a bunch of "losers" -- but when I am called "an elitist snob", that is okay. lol. -- that is "rhetorical" and I don't expect an explanation. I iz a brane and figgered it out on my own. ;-) )
 

Cardinal

Cyburbian
Messages
10,080
Points
34
Michele Zone said:
...a doctor told me once that they did all that brain research solely on men and the first time they hooked a woman up to see her brain in action, they freaked out and thought something must be terribly wrong because it didn't fit any pattern they knew...

They needed to do research to determine that women's brain patterns are not normal?! 8-! Most of the guys on Cyburbia could have told them that. ;-)
 
Messages
3,690
Points
27
SOOOO MANY THOUGHTS....

1. I'm a shortie (5'1"), Rob is 6' - everything works out fine. the height difference makes me feel petite, and i think rob gets a kick out of feeling like a giant rugged manly man.

2. Dan - size 10 cut off? seriously hon. i know i'm opening myself up here, but i consider myself quite attractive. And I have a pair of size 12 corderoys on right now. And I 'm a shortie, but I'm pretty sure (although i could be wrong) that anyone who looks at me wouldn't think "big girl". and size 10 for a taller girl is down right skinny.

3. My husband is super mild mannered. I dig his laid back attitude and look. Definitely balding, lots of flannel and work boots, very introverted, and he's definitely not a skinny. we met in grad school and i was seriously underwhelmed by him at first. but after spending time together, i was completely attracted by his thoughtfulness, his responsibile-ness, and his stability. He also smelled really good without cologne. We aren't all looking for flash. Ultimately, the good women out there want dependability, respect and attention. Any girl who drops a guy because he's "too nice" is out of her mind, insecure and not worth your time. And there are A LOT of these girls out there to wade through, but I really believe there are still a few quality women left out there.

ok. jack just woke up. time to eat. i'll try to finish this later. :)
 

NHPlanner

A shadow of my former self
Staff member
Moderator
Messages
9,952
Points
40
Downtown said:
Any girl who drops a guy because he's "too nice" is out of her mind, insecure and not worth your time.

Funny, I just might know someone like that.... ;)
 

GeogPlanner

Cyburbian
Messages
1,433
Points
25
dating is a numbers game. for every one date that went OK...12 dates went horrible. for every e-mail i got a response to, i sent 8 more. online dating is so much harder than conventional dating.

dan, i found that saying less is better than saying more. i would send a message with a bit about me, but leaving the picture imcomplete. i also kept the message fun. those e-mails are pick-up lines...nothing more. hook 'er and reel 'er in! (sorry to make the fishing comparison ladies) and size 10 is a bit too picky... ;-)
 

jordanb

Cyburbian
Messages
3,232
Points
25
Well, ok, I'd like to retract the whore comment. And I didn't mean that all women are whores. I said most, and that was an exaggeration.

Maybe some women who ask what I do really are making small talk. I hadn' t really considered that before. B-)

But, finding good women is very hard, and the stereotype that women are caring and deep and men are selfish and superficial is ridiculously wrong.

I was talking to this girl a bit ago, and my neighborhoods website came up. I said that I was going into each neighborhood, taking pictures, then putting them on the internet. She looked at me with ... I don't know how to describe it, disgust I suppose. Then she regained herself and was like "well, you getting paid from a research grant to do that?" or something like that. And I said, no, it's just my hobby, and then mentioned how much I liked the beer they were serving. She agreed and then wandered off.

She was in planning school.
 

Habanero

Cyburbian
Messages
3,241
Points
27
jordanb said:
It's obviously because they're whores. That kid might not have any future prospects, but he's got the cash to do a straight up gifts-for-sex transaction now, and that's what they want.

I wonder what Freud would have to say about this... Maybe it's the pent up anger and not discretionary income that has you single.
 

Rumpy Tunanator

Cyburbian
Messages
4,473
Points
25
jordanb said:
At least you're not this guy: http://www.fypl.info/


WTF, LMFAO, I just looked at this and couldn't stop laughing
When the children reach 18 years of age, I would like for each of them to have 2 children with a mate selected by me.

And it just kept on getting better
The statements made on this page should give a good sense of my plan. I think it a good plan and one worth striving to realize.

Somebody hire this guy to be a planner. He could set those developers and NIMBYers straight;)
 

JNL

Cyburbian
Messages
2,449
Points
25
Rumpy Tunanator said:
WTF, LMFAO, I just looked at this and couldn't stop laughing

WTF is right... I just checked it out and my eyes still look like this: 8-!
 
Top