Ugliest of the Ugly Cars

[nerudite]

After reading Maddox's commentary on ugly cars and the various discussions about new cars here in the FAC, I figured we needed a final poll of the ugliest of the new cars.

And if you haven't read Maddox's commentary, it's worth the read... especially the Gary Busey scale of ugliness.

 

[el Guapo]

While the Aztec is certainly ugly, I know of one who's ugly goes to the bone...

 

[Dan]

Run for your lives!

Seriously, the Aztek is the most gawd-awful looking thing on the roads in North America. Worse then British three-wheeled cars.

 

[Jessie-J]

all I gotta say is WTF??? Porsche Cayenne I puke on it!

 

[Greenescapist]

Hands down, it's gotta be the Aztec. Before I saw the poll, I already had it in my head as the ugliest thing on wheels. What were they thinking?

 

[biscuit]

Great site nerudite.
"Looks like it was designed by a blind child with arthritis." I'm going to remember that one.

IMO the Pontiac Aztek, Pontiac Vibe and the Chevy Avalanche are three of the fugliest automobiles on the road. These, along with the Cadillac CTS and others, prove that there isn't a cheap, ugly piece of shyte out there that General Motors won't manufacture.

 

[mendelman]

Relish beating a dead horse!!

Ich sage: Das Aztec ist sehr, sehr uber-hasslich!!

Du sagt: Ja, das stimmt!

 

[mendelman]

Hmmmm......vintage Volvo!!

I'll have a 122S, please

 

[Mud Princess]

Hands down, it's gotta be the Aztec. Before I saw the poll, I already had it in my head as the ugliest thing on wheels. What were they thinking?

I just shake my head every time I see one of these hideous monstrosities on the road. Blech. Why would anybody buy one?

 

[JNA]

Somebody find a photo of a Pacer Wagon!
and post it as a reminder of what an ugly car it was

 

[giff57]

Somebody find a photo of a
Pacer Wagon!
and post it as a reminder of what an ugly car it was

you mean like this one?

 

[Seabishop]

I think cars like the Aztek are ugly and I wouldn't buy one but I'm glad the automakers are making different looking cars. For a while every car looked the same (think Saturns).

I didn't think Pontiac was still in business.

ps: Check out Maddox's comments on
white cop/black cop movies. I've been ranting about this for a while.

 

[Jeff]

all I gotta say is WTF??? Porsche Cayenne I puke on it!

Great minds think alike.

 

[martini]

The Aztek is by far the ugliest thing on the modern road. I swear the people who buy it are into it for it's schizophrenic leanings. I am I in a car/SUV/Camper/wagon today?

Past? the Pacer is king of all that is ugly. Well, the Rambler comes close....

 

[michaelskis]

I think that they let some little kid that has never seen a car, design the ASSTECK. It reminds me of a mix between a match box car, an angry dog, and a gremlin.

 

[H]

my wife has been out looking at Elements *sigh*

If it wasnt for the sunroof being over the backseat, we would already own one. *sigh again*

 

[Dan]

The US doesn't have a lock on the ugly car market.

Dihatsu Atrai

Fiat Multipla

Renault Kangoo

Renault Vel Satis ... hell, anything made by Renault except the Laguna

Hundustan Ambassador - yes, that's a NEW car

Robin Reliant

 

[biscuit]

Fiat Multipla

HOLY CRAP! In the name of all that's decent in the world, isn't there some kind of international law forbiding people from bringing horrors like this into the world. It looks like the retarded and deformed illegitimate spawn of a Mazda MPV and a Dodge Neon.

 

[Jeff]

I want the Dihatsu thing. I must have it.

 

[Zoning Goddess]

Past? the Pacer is king of all that is ugly. Well, the Rambler comes close....

The Maverick wasn't much better...

 

[Zoning Goddess]

I want the Dihatsu thing. I must have it.

It looks like a toaster on wheels!

 

[Jeff]

It looks like a toaster on wheels!

Exactly!

And I want to be the bread!

 

[el Guapo]

Multipla must translate as "hair lip" in Italian.

 

[Zoning Goddess]

Multipla must translate as "hair lip" in Italian.

OK, too funny, now I'm giggling like crazy at my desk. They're going to discover my cyburbia secret.

 

[Cardinal]

I'm surprised to see the Subaru Baja in the poll. It is not one of the first cars I think of when I think "ugly." On the other hand, I wonder why they bothered to make it, or who would want it. The rear seating is more cramped than the sedan or wagon. In exchange, you get a bed that is about four feet long - too small to put anything in, except luggage and small things that you would probably want inside the car in the first place. A pickup truck needs a six-foot bed, and nothing less.

 

[Jessie-J]

It appears Europeans are more willing to think outside the box.... kind of refreshing actually. Think about it, Cars in America are all pretty similar within their respective classes. I kinda like the Atrai, looks like a good party bus.

 

[giff57]

The Maverick wasn't much better...

Hey what's wrong with this?

 

[SkeLeton]

Did I hear Edsel?

Fiat Multipla

Ok, you win... now that's f-ugly.. even worse than the Cayenne or the ones in the poll (although they're close!)

 

[carlomarx]

Narsty Euro Funktronik Wagons

I laughed myself silly at that list of the ugliest cars. The Kangaroo looks ridiculous, like someone melted a subaru and stretched its top upward. The Multipla looks like a Saab with a Lincoln cab on top (PopeMobile-Style).

The Pacer: I have been in love with it since Wayne's World, the movie (the first one). I've always wanted to have a licorice dispenser in my car.

PS: who voted for the Element? Why, oh why can't you just leave it alone? All it wants to do is have a good time! Why must you torment it?

 

[Runner]

Another one not yet mentioned:

 

[Runner]

Although at least AMC is gone. Can you honestly say this one is not just as ugly:

 

[boiker]

why knock the ugly cars

i must be the crazy minority and think that all three of those cars are innovative and unique... not ugly.


now... ford taurus.. eck.... dodge caravan...puke....honda civic...boring....

 

[Dan]

Can you honestly say this one is not just as ugly:

[patriot] Hey, Jane Fonda, that vee-HIC-uul helped win a couple of WARS for the good 'ol USA! Commie.[/patriot]








Seriously, if you're going to get a military vehicle, go for a Pinzgauer. The civilian version is closer to its military roots, it gets far better gas mileage than the Hummer (16-18 MPG general), and they're fairly inexpensive on the used market.

US market civilian Pinzgauer. $16K. Beat that, Hummer!

 

[nerudite]

Re: why knock the ugly cars

i must be the crazy minority and think that all three of those cars are innovative and unique... not ugly.


now... ford taurus.. eck.... dodge caravan...puke....honda civic...boring....

True... but the poll was about the new ugly cars. I personally don't like several other older cars. Generally I don't like cars that look like eggs on wheels (some altimas, etc) and minivans that look like handheld vacuums.

 

[Dan]

 

[Zoning Goddess]

Dan, I like the juxtaposition of ads on the driver's door. I never knew feminine products came in a "designer" version...

 

[Jeff]

Seriously, if you're going to get a military vehicle, go for a Pinzgauer. The civilian version is closer to its military roots, it gets far better gas mileage than the Hummer (16-18 MPG general), and they're fairly inexpensive on the used market.

US market civilian Pinzgauer. $16K. Beat that, Hummer!

One word.....

RUGGED!


Where do I get one of those. I can fit the kid, dog and TWO bikes in that one!

 

[donk]

when the canadian armed forces need rugged this is what they reach for:

The VW designed bombardier built, GM powered Iltis.

 

[Tranplanner]

The VW designed bombardier built, GM powered Iltis.

Those things were cool...and dangerous in the wrong hands. And while it looks amphibious, it definitely was not.

 

[donk]

My parent;s live right by a CFB. At least once a year they have some poor guys in training stopping in to call the base for a pick up as one has blown up on the road, and the radios are down.

From local reports they are not too warm to drive in the winter either.