Dan said:
I'm going to bump this, since
this thread happened.
What else can we do to make new users feel more welcome?
I think what went wrong with the thread in question is that folks kind of 'forgot' that the point of that forum is to Welcome people. If the person is of the right temperament and it is done right, there is nothing fundamentally wrong with engaging in a little bit of debate. But I, personally, wrote a paragraph or two about my views on education in the thread in question -- then deleted it all and wrote a short welcome note without posting my views. People just coming here need to be treated kind of like 'seedlings' and given a little shelter from the full force of such debates -- especially in the Introduce Yourself area.
That forum should have slightly different rules from the rest of Cyburbia. Tread lightly if you are going to "argue" with someone in their intro thread. And, this won't be PC, but if they are young, take that into account. There was a fair amount of "arguing" with me when I signed on but I did a LOT to bring that on myself: my very first post was on a controversial topic where I roundly disagreed with the majority view. I knew I was "asking for it". But I have experience as a moderator and I am older and a military wife, yadda yadda. As a friend of mine notes (who sometimes throws me to the wolves for a good cause, lol), I can take a little bit of abuse. But, generally speaking, people should be made to feel like "one of the crowd" before any in-joke/ribbing type stuff happens. It is percieved very differently by an outsider who doesn't know the personalities and such around here than by the "regulars" -- especially an outsider who hasn't been lurking a long time.
It is mostly a matter of "you only get one chance to make a first impression". When I was a moderator (in a different forum), I noted that people who got a warm welcome tended to jump right in, feel at home, and were resilient when controversy did occur. People who did not get a warm welcome tended to never be heard from again. I didn't know enough of the technical end and I wasn't there long enough to track statistics concerning if they just lurked or if they tended to sign off. I also noted that folks I said "Hi" to tended to jump on in, even if they swore they normally were the shy lurker type. I did my best to answer questions, engage them in meaningful conversation, help them get oriented. Basically, I did what 15 years as a military wife active in the Family Support Group system had trained me to do when someone shows up at the unit and has No Clue how to find their way around or what to do and feels overwhelmed. :-D It is something that WORKS -- the army knows what it is doing.
Arguing overly much with someone on your own home turf when they are new puts them at a disadvantage and can be experienced as quite hostile and threatening, even if you aren't doing anything different than what you would do in the rest of Cyburbia. There are ways to engage someone and state your disagreement and not make it feel too personal. A lot of folks have no clue how to do that. If you have no clue how to do so, then discretion is probably the greater part of valor: when in doubt, just say "Hi, welcome aboard." and other Warm-Fuzzy stuff. Argue with them NEXT week, when they are less likely to take it as "God, everyone here HATES me and I never did anything to any of them!!! Sheesh!!!" (And if Kyle is reading this and thinking "God what a hypocritical BLEEP", my apologies. I tried to give useful feedback. There was no desire to "fight" with you.)
Just my 2 cents.
EDIT: And I reiterate: If it isn't being done yet, newcomers should get an e-mail which contains and/or directs them to forum policies, etc -- the stuff that would be likely to help them get oriented and feel like they know their way around, both technically and culturally. And then everyone needs to assume they never read it, because most people won't. A long intro probably is worse than a short one. It probably should be a short welcome letter with a brief description about the structure of Cyburbia (you know, so they know that "forum help and issues" is NOT the place to post your question asking for "help" on planning issues 8-! -- something I have seen more than once (come to think of it, that is common enough that "forum help and issues" might benefit from a name change)) and with links to some of the more useful threads on how to do stuff (like post pictures) and forum culture and history, with a brief description of each link and why they ought to go there (in one or two sentences).
el Guapo said:
Virtual Turret’s (what is the correct spelling of this word?) Syndrome.
Tourette's Syndrome (I think!)
