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Well, I managed to go three years...

Super Amputee Cat

Cyburbian
Messages
2,134
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28
…without stepping inside a mall.

I went more than three years – from October, 2000 to December, 2003 without stepping foot inside a mall. (And the only reason I went in 2000 was to pick up a wedding present for my sister. Before that it was probably sometime in 1999.)

But last week, I broke that longstanding feat, when I drove up to Ann Arbor to see a movie that was playing at Briarwood Mall and got there early to get something to eat.

The mall was the only place playing this movie in the entire region, so I had no choice. But I guess it’s my fault for arriving hungry. (I could should have stopped somewhere off mall property, even a fast food joint, just to keep the streak going with exceptions made for movies). So now the streak must start over again.

And if you think that things are any better now than they were in 2000, think again All the things that kept me out in 2000 and earlier were 10 times worse: The annoying shoppers, the cracker-barrel ambiance, the general fakeness, the totem consumer goods, the putrid stink of pefume, more big conglomerates instead of local stores, the yuppie boutiques, etc. Worst of all, people were talking on cell phones everywhere (a relative rarity back in 2000). I even saw some snotty teenaged girls in f-me pumps carrying designer cell phones attached to their backpacks. It took real restraint on my person to keep from telling them how utterly retarded they looked.

And you know what happened? The movie that I went to see, opened up in Toledo the very next week. To me, that was the unkindest cut of all.
 

Zoning Goddess

Cyburbian
Messages
13,853
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39
I love malls. But only on off-peak hours.

What seriously bugs me? Teenagers never move out of the way for "grown-ups" any more. They'd bowl you over before they'd move a step out of their 4-across, take up the whole frigging aisle formation.

Sorry to hear of your pain.
 

Chet

Cyburbian Emeritus
Messages
10,624
Points
34
[jordanb]

I dont even OWN a shopping mall.

[/jordanb]
 

BKM

Cyburbian
Messages
6,464
Points
29
Cat, I'm disappointed. Don't you know MOVIES are the source of much of what's evil in today's culture. You should have just stayed home and holed with your copy of Wendell Berry.
 

Dan

Dear Leader
Staff member
Moderator
Messages
18,116
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63
[jordanb]

Personally, I like Ypsilanti better.

[/jordanb]

:D
 

Super Amputee Cat

Cyburbian
Messages
2,134
Points
28
BKM said:
Cat, I'm disappointed. Don't you know MOVIES are the source of much of what's evil in today's culture. You should have just stayed home and holed with your copy of Wendell Berry.
Well, it's an art film, if that helps - not some brainless blockbuster.

BTW, it is unlikely that I will ever be able to come close to that streak again. The theater in mall that I saw this partucular film is run by Madstone Theaters, who show more independent and lesser known films. So patronizing this theater is a mitigating measure in the evil of also patronizing the mall. As long as I go there to only see movies, and not visit or buy anything else, then my conscious is clear.
 

Rumpy Tunanator

Cyburbian
Messages
4,473
Points
25
-I remember back a few years ago when I had to spend the night in the mall "watching" this store from some "evil plumbers" who might steal from it as they fixed the 2nd floors pipes. Man it sucked. I tried to stay awake for so long, but after the rat in the back room called it quits, I was pretty much hopeless......
-All I can remember is that I woke up in a haze of disbelief when I saw hoards of old people...errr elderly zombies walking back and forth throughout the mall at 7am. Boy, what was this concept they had come up with? The opening workers of the snobby store arrived and I spelled freedom as I walked past the dumpsters towards the light....
-As I lite a cigarette I was glad I was free from the horrors within. Oh and those girls that worked there were probally mad that their bottle of salad dressing and carrots were missing from the fridge (buy some food you freaks). Nobody said nothing, probally because of the rat.
 

Tranplanner

maudit anglais
Messages
7,903
Points
35
Apologies to Cervantes, I just thought this was appropriate. Excuse the long post, and kudos to fiendishlibrarian at urbantoronto who inspired this.
At this point they came in sight of thirty forty windmills that
there are on plain, and as soon as Don Quixote saw them he said to his squire, "Fortune is arranging matters for us better than we could have shaped our desires ourselves, for look there, friend Sancho Panza, where thirty or more monstrous giants present themselves, all of whom I mean to engage in battle and slay, and with whose spoils we shall begin to make our fortunes; for this is righteous warfare, and it is God's good service to sweep so evil a breed from off the face of
the earth."

"What giants?" said Sancho Panza.

"Those thou seest there," answered his master, "with the long
arms, and some have them nearly two leagues long."

"Look, your worship," said Sancho; "what we see there are not giants but windmills, and what seem to be their arms are the sails that turned by the wind make the millstone go."

"It is easy to see," replied Don Quixote, "that thou art not used to
this business of adventures; those are giants; and if thou art afraid, away with thee out of this and betake thyself to prayer while I engage them in fierce and unequal combat."

So saying, he gave the spur to his steed Rocinante, heedless of
the cries his squire Sancho sent after him, warning him that most certainly they were windmills and not giants he was going to attack. He, however, was so positive they were giants that he neither heard the cries of Sancho, nor perceived, near as he was, what they were, but made at them shouting, "Fly not, cowards and vile beings, for a single knight attacks you."

A slight breeze at this moment sprang up, and the great sails
began to move, seeing which Don Quixote exclaimed, "Though ye flourish more arms than the giant Briareus, ye have to reckon with me."

So saying, and commending himself with all his heart to his lady Dulcinea, imploring her to support him in such a peril, with lance in rest and covered by his buckler, he charged at Rocinante's fullest gallop and fell upon the first mill that stood in front of him; but as he drove his lance-point into the sail the wind whirled it round with such force that it shivered the lance to pieces, sweeping with it horse and rider, who went rolling over on the plain, in a sorry condition. Sancho hastened to his assistance as fast as his ass could go, and when he came up found him unable to move, with such a shock had Rocinante fallen with him.

"God bless me!" said Sancho, "did I not tell your worship to mind
what you were about, for they were only windmills? and no one could have made any mistake about it but one who had something of the same kind in his head."
 

GeogPlanner

Cyburbian
Messages
1,433
Points
25
the last time i was at the mall was for a fire alarm call at 6am. but i guess that doesn't count, b/c i stayed with the fire truck and let the truck lieutenant go inside and play. i'm still trying to figure out why our mall is pink/purple/and white in the inside. it used to have a nice wood motif before the expanded it...
 

Jeff

Cyburbian
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4,161
Points
27
Today the mall....tomorrow an SUV .... next week a beachfront condo in Hilton Head.

The Horror
 

BKM

Cyburbian
Messages
6,464
Points
29
Nah, next week he announces that he has joined WalMart's site acquisition department :)
 

Rumpy Tunanator

Cyburbian
Messages
4,473
Points
25
OT- I haven't driven in a few weeks due to the injuries I received in the altercation, but I did yesterday and I really had the "rage", not to mention it took forever to fill the tank up, my land rover was thirsty;), just kidding you bungoloes.....

-BOT I was at the mall this morning for my first and last minute shooooping and the old man zombie walking team was out in full force.
 
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