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What is your fake Pizza name?


Staff member
I made restaurant reservations by phone once as "Bilbo Baggins". Hostess didn't have a clue. "Mr. Baggins? Your table is ready." :-D


Dear Leader
Staff member
From the article:

Among political pizza findings, people with "Dean for President" bumper stickers on cars in their driveways tipped 22 percent higher than people with "Bush for President" bumper stickers.
I ran 'za with Dominos back in my undergrad days (late 1980s). We drivers beame armchair sociologists when it came to analyzing tipping patterns, I could go on forever about it.

A few strange tipping patterns:

  • University at Buffalo students usually tipped $1 or more
  • Daemen College students usually tipped spare change under 50 cents, and stiffed for larger amounts.
  • Students from downstate New York were usually bettertippers than those from upstate.
  • Residential tips were highest in working-class areas and new money neighborhoods. A run to a large house in an old-money neighborhood did not necessarily result in a large tip.
  • Those ordering veggie pizzas didn't tip as well as those ordering pizzas with some meat toppings.
  • To be politically correct, I'll refrain from mentioning ethnic tipping patterns. Here's a study from Cornell about the topic..
  • The elderly often offered sincere tips of a dime or 25 cents, as if to say "Now you can use that shiny quarter to buy a new suit, take the streetcar downtown, catch a show with your girlfriend, have something nice to eat at the drugstore counter afterwards, and ride the trolley back home, with something left over to buy a few packs of Chesterfields the next day.."
  • Deliveries to hospitals suck. The staff takes forever to meet me to get the pizza, and the tips are always terrible. One driver, after getting stiffed at the VA hospital psych ward, claimed to yell "TET! TET!" before he left. Pandemonium apparently broke out."
We were too busy to 420. Usually, that's at the smaller pizzerias, where deliveries are less frequent.

Planning student trick: During slow times, send anew driver on a delivery to an address on a ghost street. When they can't find the house, much less the street, insist that they're a regular customer, and send 'em back. Good times.


can't say i have one

I've never given a fake name for a pizza order. Usually I'm too hungry and don't want to delay the sustinance. Either that or I just don't have the motivation to piss off some teenage pizza jockey.
In Geneseo, I worked in the dining hall, and took special orders from diners who wanted veggie burgers, etc. instead of asking their name, i'd make one up for them, if the diner was amenable, until the crabby lunch lady who had to go into the dining room to yell "Sunshine Happypants" or "Moonbeam MacGuillicudy" complained to Pete the manager who put the kibosh on my shenanigans. sigh.