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"Why don't we do it in the road"

chrisinmd

Cyburbian
Messages
322
Points
11
Love Struck
2003 Darwin Award Nominee
Confirmed True by Darwin
"Why don't we do it in the road?" -Beatles
(3 March 2002, Sheffield, England) As Kim Fontana, 32, and Paul Cowley, 40, left the pub, they noticed that a streetlight was burned out, creating an attractive pool of darkness on the road. Unable to rein in their passion, they began to canoodle on the asphalt outside the pub.

Witnesses said the couple was lying right on the white line, kissing and cuddling. The passionate pair were warned of the danger of their chosen position not once, not twice, but three times -- by a car driver, a bus driver, and a pedestrian.

An off-duty paramedic honked three times and shouted, "You want to get up, or otherwise you’ll be run over." The man simply said "Cheers, mate," and the paramedic heard a female voice laughing. A bus driver swerved to avoid them, and drove past with wheels on the curb. A concerned pedestrian shouted to warn them that another bus was headed their way.

Despite these disruptions, Kim and Paul continued, oblivious to the approach of a small, single-decker Nipper bus. The bus driver mistook the undulating shape for a bag of rubbish in the poorly lit street, and was unable to stop in time. There was a dull thud...

Kim and Paul were struck and killed at midnight. Paramedics found Kim lying on her back with her jumper pulled up, and Paul between her legs with his trousers pulled down.

The only downside to this timely removal of lunacy from the gene pool is the fate of the bus driver. Despite the couple's own actions, and a police investigator's statement that "one can expect a pedestrian walking or running in the road, but to expect a driver to anticipate a pedestrian lying in the road is out of the ordinary" -- a judge felt that "his driving fell below the standard one would reasonably expect of a prudent, competent driver."

The bus driver was fined for careless driving and his license was revoked for six months. Fortunately, his employers consider him an excellent employee, and plan to give him other duties for six months. Relatives of the victims said they were glad the driver had kept his job.

www.darwinawards.com
 

Gedunker

Moderating
Staff member
Moderator
Messages
11,487
Points
41
Just another example of why street connectivity is a bad thing ;-)
 

JNA

Cyburbian Plus
Messages
25,802
Points
61
chrisinmd
Thankyous
Many Cyburbians are amused by Darwin Award stories. B-) :-0
 

michaelskis

Cyburbian
Messages
20,174
Points
51
At least they did not sue the city for not having better lighting in the street.

If they had lived, I wonder what their kids would be like?
 

Duke Of Dystopia

Cyburbian
Messages
2,713
Points
24
michaelskis said:
At least they did not sue the city for not having better lighting in the street.

If they had lived, I wonder what their kids would be like?

Curious, Thier family members "Seemed" to be fine people! :-D

No grudges mate! :-}
 

Richmond Jake

You can't fight in here. This is the War Room!
Messages
18,313
Points
44
Seabishop said:
Thats why I'm always sure to use a grass median in the middle of the highway.
Also gives a new meaning to the phrase "median strip."
 

iamme

Cyburbian
Messages
485
Points
14
I think we should take this time and reflect on the dangers of mass transit. ;-)
 

SkeLeton

Cyburbian
Messages
4,853
Points
26
Hmmm I wonder if this accident was caused by simple stupidity or aided stupidity through booze... I think I'll go for the second option given the fact that they were going out of a pub...

While these accidents are dumb, booze is part of the problem... just like the typical accident of University Freshmen walking on the handrail of the bridge and falling to the river and possibly drowning that happen after the welcoming parties around mid-March. :p
 

Bear Up North

Cyburbian Emeritus
Messages
9,329
Points
31
Speaking with a certain amount of experience, they should have tried.....

Deserted beaches of the Upper Peninsula of MI
OR
Cherry tree groves near Traverse City, MI
OR
In the Metropark near Painesville, OH
OR
The sandy islands of Maumee Bay, Lake Erie's western end
OR
Sugar Loaf Mountain, Marquette, MI
OR
A small island just off the coast of Oregon

But.....never ever in a road.....

Bear During Youthful Excuberance
 

yaff

Cyburbian
Messages
108
Points
6
Bear Up North said:
Speaking with a certain amount of experience, they should have tried.....

Deserted beaches of the Upper Peninsula of MI
OR
Cherry tree groves near Traverse City, MI
OR
In the Metropark near Painesville, OH
OR
The sandy islands of Maumee Bay, Lake Erie's western end
OR
Sugar Loaf Mountain, Marquette, MI
OR
A small island just off the coast of Oregon

But.....never ever in a road.....

Bear During Youthful Excuberance

I just want to say .... You Go Bear!!!!!
 

chrisinmd

Cyburbian
Messages
322
Points
11
Bear Up North said:
Speaking with a certain amount of experience, they should have tried.....

Deserted beaches of the Upper Peninsula of MI
OR
Cherry tree groves near Traverse City, MI
OR
In the Metropark near Painesville, OH
OR
The sandy islands of Maumee Bay, Lake Erie's western end
OR
Sugar Loaf Mountain, Marquette, MI
OR
A small island just off the coast of Oregon

But.....never ever in a road.....

Bear During Youthful Excuberance

Bear, was it with someone different each time?

I never do it in the road, I did try the back seat of my old Dodge Dart one nite in the park and I did try it in the woods once. I'm conservative, I prefer in-doors, on the sofa, floor, bed, safe places where you won't injure yourself while engaged in physical activity.
 

Bear Up North

Cyburbian Emeritus
Messages
9,329
Points
31
chrisinmd said:
Bear, was it with someone different each time?

I never do it in the road, I did try the back seat of my old Dodge Dart one nite in the park and I did try it in the woods once. I'm conservative, I prefer in-doors, on the sofa, floor, bed, safe places where you won't injure yourself while engaged in physical activity.
It was always with my wife. However, I have been married a number of times.

Bear
 
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