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Why the Onion is Going To Hell #1

Dan

Dear Leader
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This time, the Onion crossed the line.

They're making fun of planners. I think.



The dork, who introduced himself as Mr. Kepler and wrote his name on the board in girlish cursive letters, spent 25 minutes droning on about the revitalization of downtown Gillette.
...
The dork had trouble controlling the class, and in true dweeb fashion, tried to reprimand the students with humor, saying, "Hey, guys, don't make me rezone that section non-residential."

The entire class reportedly stared at him blankly.

"The city nerd guy said something about some guys acting zoned out or something, and then he smiled really big and stared at us," Stacy Cooper said. "It was totally weird. Like, I think maybe he was trying to be funny. That must be what some book says about how to come and address a civics class or something."
 

SGB

Cyburbian
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Dan said:
This time, the Onion crossed the line.
They're making fun of planners. I think.
Well, we can't say we didn't have it coming our way sooner or later.

But, if he's a planner he's way out of uniform!

;)
 

Dan

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SGB said:
But, if he's a planner he's way out of uniform!
He looks like one of those old-school eccentric planners, like the ones you would see in early 1970s-era issues of Planning, or attending a Western Planner conference.
 

BKM

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Drat. The Onion is blocked by our firewall. (Although F&**&^ed Company is not. Go figure.)
 

Dan

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Didn't see the line.

"All I knew about him before he walked in the door was that he won his council race in a landslide. Jesus. He must have run unopposed."
I need to up my dosage.
 

mendelman

Unfrozen Caveman Planner
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This is great.

I love the Onion.

I would have felt the same way when I was 15.
 
Last edited:

NHPlanner

A shadow of my former self
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At least it's fictional....I got a jab from today's paper......

 

boiker

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mendelman said:
Did someone say "Kitchen Fresh Chicken"?




;-)
/me slaps mendelman with a large trout.

knock it off.. I may be forced to hurl mackerel at you next time. :-S
 

Seabishop

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NHPlanner said:
At least it's fictional....I got a jab from today's paper......
" 'Screw you! Take your own friggin' minutes next time!' Screamed Thompson before he stormed out of the meeting taking his rolled-up plans with him." ;)
 

mendelman

Unfrozen Caveman Planner
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boiker said:
/me slaps mendelman with a large trout.

knock it off.. I may be forced to hurl mackerel at you next time. :-S
Hey, if you can't handle KFC commercials, that's not my problem.

:-D

(it's soooo not a nugget)
 

el Guapo

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Running with the theme

Seabishop said:
" 'Screw you! Take your own friggin' minutes next time!' Screamed Thompson before he stormed out of the meeting taking his rolled-up plans with him." ;)
Returning just a few scant minutes later to the bewildered hearing chamber, he burst through the door screaming "You drew first blood you Bastards!" Witnesses said it then sounded like a chipper-shredder was started and left running for the next hour. Before he departed, a blood soaked Thompson was heard to exclaim, "Meeting adjourned!"

 
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