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Worst Wedding (or other) Gifts

Gedunker

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I was reading the wedding planning resource thread and saw the topic evolve to include gift registry, et cetera and "12 crappy ass toasters". It got me thinking about bad gifts you have either received or ( 8-!) given.

Mrs. G and I received this hideous cutting board shaped like a howling wolf. I have no idea who gave it to us or why. Interestingly, we actually used it until I got going on the kitchen remodel. B-)

But the worst gift came from a good friend of my wife's: four demitasse cups that were cheap (marked China), chipped, and dirty :-c Still in the original box, we have convinced ourselves that they were a gag, but there's lingering doubts.

Let's hear your stories.
 

Zoning Goddess

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The only bad wedding gift I got was a hideously ugly pink and white, flowery vase from one of my parents' closest (but very old-fashioned) friends.

Nowadays, I (and my son and my mother) regularly receive crappy birthday/X-mas gifts from my brother and his family. His wife does all her gift-shopping at Big Lots. Last year for my birthday I got a $2 visor CD holder. They are not poor people.
 

nerudite

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My mom is one of those baby boomer types that likes to wear the cotton jersey fabric pullover shirts with the glitter and appliques on them. Looks like a sweatshirt with a bunch of rhinestones and stuff. Well, there were a few Christmas gifts of those... and I hated them. I don't think I ever wore one, and ended up giving them all to Goodwill. My mom hasn't bought me clothes since.
 

mendelman

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Not so much terrible wedding gifts here, but rather gifts that we have not used and don't seem to have any real need for anyhow.

Case in point: My wife registered for an electric knife. It's been in the closet, in it's original box, for 2 years and I am sure it will never be used. My wife wanted it because her family always had one and she thought it was necessary for us. I think differently. It's such an archaic leftover from the "space-age, time-saving, Ronco, electrify every possible kitchen tool" period of the 20th century (1950-1960). I see nothing wrong with just learning how to use a sharp knife.

Sorry for the rant, but I had to move the stupid thing this past weekend, so I'm still slightly annoyed about it.
 
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NHPlanner

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One of those big turkey cooker things (propane). Never used it. Since I'm now divorced, I gave it to my dad as an early Father's Day gift (he's always wanted one).
 
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My husband is an extremely low-key guy who likes to dress in colors like gray and black. He isn't real big on patterns. And he is extremely warm-natured: It has to be Parka weather for him to need more than a jacket.

His grandma used to send him brightly colored, plaid flannel shirts for Christmas every year.^o)
 

boiker

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mendelman said:
I see nothing wrong with just learning how to use a sharp knife..
Then you have never had the pleasure of working with an electric knife when cutting freshly baked bread. No squished and stretched pieces.

Now, If I had a knife set that was worth a damn (sharp, properly seriated), I'd feel differently.

Gifts that stink...probably any clothing that I've recieved from my mom. She dresses me how she wants.. not how I want.

one gift we recieved too many of at our wedding.. wicker baskets.. I think we have 10 in our attic.
 

jordanb

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Bread is always hard to cut. That's probably one of the best examples of when an electic knife is actually useful. My parents have one and they use it maybe once every couple of years to carve something big like a turkey. My father has a large (real) knife collection that he babies and preens, so they nearly always use them.
 

donk

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With my friends I am always invited to weddings and other gift giving occasions as I have a reputation as being a good gift giver. It helps when your mother is an artists and knows other artists to trade for good things (mostly really nice pottery).
 

ludes98

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The electric knife also cuts foam for your garage projects like a champ!! :-D
 

Cardinal

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mendelman said:
Not so much terrible wedding gifts here, but rather gifts that we have not used and don't seem to have any real need for anyhow.

Case in point: My wife registered for an electric knife. It's been in the closet, in it's original box, for 2 years and I am sure it will never be used. My wife wanted it because her family always had one and she thought it was necessary for us. I think differently. It's such an archaic leftover from the "space-age, time-saving, Ronco, electrify every possible kitchen tool" period of the 20th century (1950-1960). I see nothing wrong with just learning how to use a sharp knife.

Sorry for the rant, but I had to move the stupid thing this past weekend, so I'm still slightly annoyed about it.
You made a mistake asking for an electric knife when what you really wanted was a chainsaw.

[snob]As for those of you who think you need an electric knife to cut bread, what you really knead is a book on etiquette. You do not slice bread, you break it - literally pull it apart.[/snob]
 

Duke Of Dystopia

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NHPlanner said:
One of those big turkey cooker things (propane). Never used it. Since I'm now divorced, I gave it to my dad as an early Father's Day gift (he's always wanted one).
Hey, those things are GREAT! I parted mine out and 3/4 of the set doubles as beer making equipment! :-D
 
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The worst gift I ever received was from a Christmas gift exchange for my company. We did that white elephant game where you can take someone else's gift. Well, I was the third person to pick a gift and I went for a thin, but beautifully wrapped item. Turns out it was a Lipton Soup Mix cookbook - the kind you get for free when you turn in the UPC codes off of the boxes. Needless to say, nobody wanted to take it from me. I had only been working at the company for about 2 weeks, didn't know everyone quite that well, so I had to grin like I actually liked the junk. What kills me is that there was a $20 minimum value requirement for the gifts and I know that cookbook cost nothing. There wasn't even a bar code on the darn thing, so I couldn't even attempt to return it to a local bookstore. :-@
 

Maister

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Not wedding presents necessarily per se, but my 88 yr old grandmother has been (sometimes both tragically and comically) losing her marbles for the last few years. She's not so far gone, though that can't fake it well enough to live independently.... at Xmas, birthdays and other events family members eyes light up with glee whenever they see grandma-wrapped presents, there truly is no telling what it will be! She might buy something at a garage sale, it might come out of her own basement, she might have bought it from a thrift shop or even found it laying in the street - you just never know. Some notable recent gifts: wife got a HUGE box of tampons, I got a 'hoop and bat' toy that would have been the envy of any 7 yr old, brother got a 3 pound summer sausage (that had the outer plastic wrap removed), father got several empty paint cans (she explained that they could be turned into 'lanterns' if you poked holes in them and put a candle in), cousin got a 36" wide wicker basket shaped like a bull's head as wedding gift. 6 yr old nephew got a set of darts (with no dartboard). My 41 yr old brother (who is white) also got a 'ebony reflections' children's birthday card last year complete with a $2 bill enclosed!

Oh and I almost forgot when she got me a 500 pack of napkins with dreidle and menora patterns. Handy for the next time this non-jew decides to celebrate Hanauka
 
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michaelskis

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No matter what you get them, make sure it will fit in a toaster or a George Forman Grill box… (Seems like every wedding I have gone to, they have gotten 4 to 6 of them). But put your real (and registered gift) in the box just to be funny.

I think that a gift certificate to Home Depot is always a good thing.
 

Seabishop

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When I was 15 and went through my black, rock t-shirt phase, my nice aunt got me some random band t-shirts she thought I would like. She got one in particular with 2 long haired guys on the front . . . it was Milli Vanilli.

Not cool, auntie. You don't know how to rock! :d:
 

SlaveToTheGrind

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nerudite said:
My mom is one of those baby boomer types that likes to wear the cotton jersey fabric pullover shirts with the glitter and appliques on them. Looks like a sweatshirt with a bunch of rhinestones and stuff. Well, there were a few Christmas gifts of those... and I hated them. I don't think I ever wore one, and ended up giving them all to Goodwill. My mom hasn't bought me clothes since.
Nerudite, this proves we are cousins. My mom wears some of the same clothes. She evven gave my wife (when she was probably 26) one of those types of shirts with a christmas tree on it with glittery gee-gaw stuff. She never wore it and in fact, I think we threw it out.

Maister said:
Not wedding presents necessarily per se, but my 88 yr old grandmother has been (sometimes both tragically and comically) losing her marbles for the last few years. She's not so far gone, though that can't fake it well enough to live independently.... at Xmas, birthdays and other events family members eyes light up with glee whenever they see grandma-wrapped presents, there truly is no telling what it will be! She might buy something at a garage sale, it might come out of her own basement, she might have bought it from a thrift shop or even found it laying in the street - you just never know. Some notable recent gifts: wife got a HUGE box of tampons, I got a 'hoop and bat' toy that would have been the envy of any 7 yr old, brother got a 3 pound summer sausage (that had the outer plastic wrap removed), father got several empty paint cans (she explained that they could be turned into 'lanterns' if you poked holes in them and put a candle in), cousin got a 36" wide wicker basket shaped like a bull's head as wedding gift. 6 yr old nephew got a set of darts (with no dartboard). My 41 yr old brother (who is white) also got a 'ebony reflections' children's birthday card last year complete with a $2 bill enclosed!

Oh and I almost forgot when she got me a 500 pack of napkins with dreidle and menora patterns. Handy for the next time this non-jew decides to celebrate Hanauka
DING DING DING...Johnny, we have a winner. Tell him what he has won!
 
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SlaveToTheGrind said:
DING DING DING...Johnny, we have a winner. Tell him what he has won!
And it's hysterically funny. I am not sure I have my doctor's permission to laugh that much -- it interferes with my breathing. 8-! :-D :p
 

SGB

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Big Easy King said:
Planderella and I will have to wait until December to see what our worst wedding gift will be.
[ot]BEK, we'll expect a full report. After the honeymoon, of course. ;) [/ot]
 

Floridays

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My ex and I had received a few scary gifts...but I was afraid to "pass them on" as gifts to other people, because they were so hideous that I didn't want anyone thinking that I had picked it out!
I especially remember an ugly pink crystal dish with a swan's head at each side (the handles, I guess).
In that situation there's only one thing to do....GARAGE SALE! :-D
 

tsc

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mendelman said:
Not so much terrible wedding gifts here, but rather gifts that we have not used and don't seem to have any real need for anyhow.

Case in point: My wife registered for an electric knife. It's been in the closet, in it's original box, for 2 years and I am sure it will never be used. My wife wanted it because her family always had one and she thought it was necessary for us. I think differently. It's such an archaic leftover from the "space-age, time-saving, Ronco, electrify every possible kitchen tool" period of the 20th century (1950-1960). I see nothing wrong with just learning how to use a sharp knife.

Sorry for the rant, but I had to move the stupid thing this past weekend, so I'm still slightly annoyed about it.
well....electric knives are great for cutting through foam. I need to make custom cushions for the boat.... the electric knife is just the tool.. .. put it in your workshop...not the kitchen!
 

jmf

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Such items have lead us to adopt the principles of "keep, sell, toss". It is great having a huge clean-up and just getting rid of things. We also donate our sell pile to a local charity for their yard sale - then we don't have to deal with the hassle of a yard sale. Plus, after doing this annually for 3 years the sell pile is really too small for us to bother with a yard sale.
 

MD Planner

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God bless your grandmother Maister, but that's the funniest thing I've read in a long, long time. Tears are running down my face as I type.
 

Habanero

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I don't think we'll get any hideous gifts at the wedding. Everyone in both families knows where we registered. We have an early present coming from my future father in law, he said it would be very useful now that we own a home. I wish I knew what it was!
 

jmf

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Habanero said:
I don't think we'll get any hideous gifts at the wedding. Everyone in both families knows where we registered. We have an early present coming from my future father in law, he said it would be very useful now that we own a home. I wish I knew what it was!
hmmmm..............

a garden gnome
a supply of pink flamingos
an upright vaccuum without a detachable hose for getting into the corners

In my experience, they may know that you are registered, they may know where you are registered, they may even have been told that you really need a ...... but someone will always get you something which will make you shake your head and wonder what they were thinking. On the other hand, someone else (perhaps someone who isn't even invited to the wedding) will give you something incredible. It all balances out in the end.


NHPlanner said:
Sounds like an episode of "Clean Sweep" on TLC.
It is, but it is amazing how much my husband, who is bit of a packrat and who usually hates that kind of show, has taken the philosophy to heart. He still won't watch it though....but we don't have cable anyway ( :p ) so I don't get to see it often.
 

Chet

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Not necessarily the worst gift - but the least thought out...

A college friend and roommate of my best man gave us tickets to see Depche Mode in concert. Ninth row center. As it turns out, they went on sale the morning of the wedding, and he had not only forgotted to get a gift, he forgot about the wedding. (nice, huh?)

So our card had HIS two concert ticjets in them and he grudgingly bought himself 2 crappy tickets from a broker.
 

Magnetica

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No matter what you get them, make sure it will fit in a toaster or a George Forman Grill box… (Seems like every wedding I have gone to, they have gotten 4 to 6 of them). But put your real (and registered gift) in the box just to be funny.

I think that a gift certificate to Home Depot is always a good thing.
Love this idea... where can I find empty George Forman Grill boxes, pray tell! :D
 

JNA

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I don't think we'll get any hideous gifts at the wedding. Everyone in both families knows where we registered.
If you don't know where somebody is registered, do what has been mentioned before and what I have done - gift card.
usually a safe thing to do.
 
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In that situation there's only one thing to do....GARAGE SALE! :-D
We have to hold our garage sales in secret from Mr. Downtown's grandmother (who lives in our town). She'd want to come help, and then poke through all the stuff she's given us that we're trying to get rid of.

and maister, i just choked on my coffee re: your grandma's "innovative" gifts.
 

Brocktoon

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When I got married I we got this cheezy, Hallmark wall hanging ith beads and wires coming out of it saying, " love each other with all your hearts." Neither one of us could feign interest or even a smile. We threw it away.

A month later in we were in a hallmark and they were selling them for $20.
 
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[snob said:
As for those of you who think you need an electric knife to cut bread, what you really knead is a book on etiquette. You do not slice bread, you break it - literally pull it apart.[/snob]
That would make a really lumpy, unevenly browned piece of toast. Though I am all for grabbing a hunk of sourdough, smearing it with some good farmhouse butter and going to town.

Bad wedding gifts. . . well, other than the large number of crystal nut dishes that I will never use, there were a lot of cheesy picture frame sets.

Thanks to the wedding registry, our toaster is now a thing of beauty, and our coffee maker can be programmed to wake us up with freshly brewed, life-giving java!
 

RandomPlanner

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When I was 15 and went through my black, rock t-shirt phase, my nice aunt got me some random band t-shirts she thought I would like. She got one in particular with 2 long haired guys on the front . . . it was Milli Vanilli.

Not cool, auntie. You don't know how to rock! :d:
Sad at the time, but I would totally wear a Milli Vanilli t-shirt now! It'd be hilarious!:-D
 

chrisinmd

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Worst presents and regifting

Worst wedding gift-- A seving dish that looked like something from Star Trek, unfortunatley one of my wife's sister gave to us so we occasionally have to use when she shows up. We did regift the snowman candle and give it as an office gift this year, I suspect it will be regifted next year to someone's spouses gift grab bag.
I got a box of oranges-the volunteer fire department sells them downstairs, they cost $18 a box. I will end up giving about 1/2 of them away, I can't eat that many oranges.

An aunt of mine always bought my Dad and I aftershave. We had a big collection, I finally started giving it back to the cousins one year, my Dad told me I was cheap, but I never got any more after shave from that aunt again. My Dad still thinks I'm cheap, I regift some of the crap people give to him he's 87.

Merry Christmas to all of you

ChrisinMD---
 
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