Your town may be RUGGED! if ...

[Dan]

1) Every gas station sells diesel.

2) More than half of the businesses along Main Street have something to do with vehicles -- sales, repair, salvage, and so on.

3) There's an active anti-beautification campaign going on.

4) More residents have Nextel phones than landlines.

5) "WELCOME HUNTERS" banners are a regular sight.

6) Half of the business signs consist of auto parts or appliances mounted on poles.

7) Folks get excited over the possible opening of a United Rentals outlet.

8) The AV crew at Town Hall tests their microphones by instinctively saying "breaker one-nine for a radio check!"

9) The town motto is "LOCK AND LOAD"

10) The shoe store prides itself on having every item in stock available with steel toes.

11) At least 50% of area businesses have names that are prefixed by "Pro-", "Job-", "Dyna-," or Work-".

12) You don't need no permit to cut down no tree. That's fuel!

13) Architectural regulations REQUIRE pre-fabricated metal commercial structures.

14) At least 50% of the vehicles on the road are trucks.

15) At least 50% of those trucks are named, just as boats are, with the names displayed across the top fo the front windshield.

16) The town council passes a resolution outlawing the United Nations.

17) A town council meeting cannot end without having each member say, at least once during the meeting, the phrases "prop'ty rights" and "back in 'Nam."

18) The town has a law that allows a certain number of junked vehicles on a property.

19) There's at least one tractor trailer dealer in town.

20) It's quite allright to have a septic tank truck parked in your front yard, as part of your home occupation.

21) The male-female ratio makes Alaska look like Smith College in comparison.

22) Nobody complains about the guy who loudly idles his truck's diesel engine every day at 4:00 AM.

23) The town flag is made out of plaid flannel.

24) Nobody quite understands that the Red Green show is supposed to be a comedy.

25) Kids learn to drive on front end loaders.

26) A POW-MIA flag flies over town hall.

27) An American flag flies over town hall ... upside down.

28) A local fashion show includes black t-shirts with wolf illustrations.

29) There's more gun stores than grocery stores.

30) The town festival is called "Gunnery Sergeant Days."

31) Roadside cleanup is sponsored by the NRA ...

32) ... but nobody cares if they aren't really doing it.

33) Town council minutes are rated R, for language.

34) The busiest clothing store is a Carhartt Factory Outlet.

 

[Chet]

...The local gas stations sell Racing Gas

 

[mike gurnee]

The city condemns, clears, and acquires a block in the center of town: and sells it (for under $50K) to an auto dealer who paves and fills the block with pickups.

 

[Tranplanner]

The local Donut Store offers drive-thru service for snowmobilers.

 

[NHPlanner]

...you have any business that is only open during hunting season.

 

[Cardinal]

Dan wrote:
24) Nobody quite understands that the Red Green show is supposed to be a comedy.

How do you know you don't live in the north? You think the Red Green show is a comedy.

 

[Cardinal]

For those of you not familiar with Red Green....

www.pbs.org/redgreen/

Some samples with a planning angle....

Episode #53 - "Underground Parking"
The men try to convert an abandoned gold mine into an underground parking lot. In a flood district

Episode #65 - "The Water Park"
Following an accidental cement spill, Red and the boys decide to make Possum Lake into a water theme park

Episode #78 - "The Schoolhouse Project"
An attempt by a city couple to purchase the old schoolhouse leads the locals of Possum Lake to find a way to save it, or at least make it unmarketable

Episode #91 - "The Real Estate Project"
Somebody buys the lot next door to Possum Lodge and starts fixing it up, ruining the neighbourhood.

Episode #126 "THE PETTING ZOO"
An overpopulation of local forest animals leads Lodge Members to open a petting zoo

 

[Bullwinkle]

...an economic analysis of your county specifically identifies the impact of both hunting AND fishing on your county's economy.

 

[el Guapo]

35) Members of the local Posse Comantatus gets roughed up after dark cause there ain't no gays to hassle in town.

36) The town's Optimists raise most of their funds during Machine Gun Week selling 7.62x39 in bulk.

37) The term “he needed killing” is used in polite society.

38) Locals think nothing of cutting barbed wire from the fence next to the road to jump start a car.

39) Local kids get a Dale Earnheart Signature series.22 for their 8th birthday.

40) The library board deadlocks over the which is the superior periodical, Field and Stream or Inside NASCAR.

41) El Guapo is considered the town liberal.

42) Neckties are rarer than Harvard Educations.

 

[Bullwinkle]

...you have barbed-wire sculptures as public art in your town.

http://www.sculptures-by-bjh.com/images/City_of_Eagle-side_view.jpg

 

[mike gurnee]

Each motel room has a brochure explaining where and how to dress pheasants after the hunt. (Not in the bathtub--there is an area out back.)

 

[nerudite]

You can find the "Spotted Owl Helper" dinner mix at the local grocers.

Spitoons are regularly dispersed throughout the Council chambers.

 

[Chet]

People with animals like these are routinely run out of town:

 

[Dan]

mike gurnee wrote:
Each motel room has a brochure explaining where and how to dress pheasants after the hunt.

Slightly OT -- I was stranded in a small Kansas town during one snowstorm. The motel I found actually had those brochures in the room!

 

[SW MI Planner]

The local bar in town has a clothesline up over the bar that has 350 bras hanging from it.

At same local bar....asking for a bottled bud-lite will get you a 40 baby!!

BTW, this is in Marquette, Michigan...in da' UP yah!!!

 

[el Guapo]

Get your Asses in the air!

Out near Russell, Kansas is bar called the Big Red Hiney. Various folks have consented to having their asses covered with red finger paint. Then they press these bums against a standard suspended ceiling tile - making a quite detailed print. Once the tile is signed, labeled in 2" black lettering with the name of the offender, and dry, it is placed in the ceiling. Some semi-famous people have their asses on display there. Rumor is one former presidential candiate from those parts has his parts on display. Only one person so far has needed two tiles for their bum.

This place was also the scene of a robbery gone wrong. Two gentlemen were traveling down I70 when they decided to pull over and rob a place to raise gas money for their trip to da Bronx. They unfortuantly picked the Big Red Hiney. They presented a weapon and a demand for cash, and the owner and three customers presented their weapons. The robbers lost fair and square.

That's a rugged town.

 

[boiker]

more rugged:

open burns are encouraged and commonplace.

Most pickup trucks have a clearance of 3 feet.

 

[michaelskis]

The local bar in town has a clothesline up over the bar that has 350 bras hanging from it.

At same local bar....asking for a bottled bud-lite will get you a 40 baby!!

BTW, this is in Marquette, Michigan...in da' UP yah!!!

It closed... lost it's liquor license... but I know more than a few women who "contributed"

#191
If you have to dig out your dorm room windows to get light in durring the 8 months of winter...

I miss NMU!!!

#192
If the on-line personals are www.ratemymullet.com

(sorry mullet people)

 

[Cardinal]

Re: Get your Asses in the air!

This place was also the scene of a robbery gone wrong. Two gentlemen were traveling down I70 when they decided to pull over and rob a place to raise gas money for their trip to da Bronx. They unfortuantly picked the Big Red Hiney. They presented a weapon and a demand for cash, and the owner and three customers presented their weapons. The robbers lost fair and square.

I knew an army surplus store like this. When I purchased a holster I first warned the owner I was going to pull out my revolver to check the fit. Everybody there packs.

 

[giff57]

Slightly OT -- I was stranded in a small Kansas town during one snowstorm. The motel I found actually had those brochures in the room!

I still bear a scar from a pheasant cleaning accident in the "game cleaning" room at the Tall Corn Motel in Shenandoah Iowa

 

[DecaturHawk]

22) Nobody complains about the guy who loudly idles his truck's diesel engine every day at 4:00 AM.

I swear I'm not making this up. At the exact moment I was reading #22, I got an e-mail notification. I opened the e-mail and read this:

[e-mail]
FYI -

Iowa State University will be conducting an "Alternatives to Truck Engine
Idling" workshop on June 22 - 23, 2004 in Des Moines Iowa.

An agenda and registration materials will be posted on the following
web-site sometime during the coming
months: http://www.ctre.iastate.edu/bulletin/truck-idling.pdf

We hope you will consider attending.
[/e-mail]

I swear I'm not making it up.

I'm also not planning on attending.

 

[plankton]

...the signs coming into town say:

"Welcome to ______. Our streets patrolled by Vigilantes for Justice."

True story. Thanks to a previous planner in that quaint lil frontier town, the signs now say:

"Welcome to ______. A citizen-patrolled community."

I paid for the damn things out of my own pocket, too.

 

[otterpop]

With the possible exception of No. 16, I thought everyone's hometown qualified. Maybe it a Montana thing. Here when you buy a new truck, there is already a dead six-point buck in the truckbed, and if you don't have a scruffy dog the car dealer will throw one in at no charge..

 

[JNA]

#??.
Block heater pluggin cords hanging out of the front grill of their truck.

#??- a.
Block heater pluggins for each parking space.

If they have planning & zoning - the fish & hunt club or marina is on the notification mailing list.

 

[donk]

Your town has a business like this one



This is a Canadian Image.

You issue more permits for mini/mobile homes than any other style.

You can't get anything done during duck season.

Not really rugged, but in the same class - there are more religious bookstores than "normal" bookstores.

The "he needed killin'" was used this week in the newspaper to describe a murder victrim. Welcome to Canada's most dangerous place - Beaverbrook, population =529 (probably less, but that is the best I can do with teh stats can data I have) murders in 2004=1. At this rate it should be depopulated by June, with the last 2 people being bound to a murder suicide pact.

My city has 14 of Dan's (probably more if I read them a bit less literally), 2 of EG's and 1 of SMMi's.

 

[JNA]

You can't get anything done during duck season.

How about deer season when:
the schools even declare opening day as a holiday
or
no one is in church that weekend.

 

[Zoning Goddess]

You feel a bit timid when you arrive at the local Army/Navy to buy your son his first set of camo to go hunting with his uncle, and discover all your neighbors there, buying Christmas presents.

 

[donk]

How about deer season when:
the schools even declare opening day as a holiday
or
no one is in church that weekend.

I guess it should just be listed as huntin' season. Moose season here is pretty crazy too.

To add to the list ,

the standard way to buy bologna is uncut / by the bag.
hunting is permitted within the city limits

 

[Tom R]

rugged

You're last words when going out to get a loaf of bread and a gallon of milk are "Cover me."

 

[donk]

That people describe their neighbourhood as

"A nice trailer park"

Hear this one frequently, and just got off teh phone with someone who said it. I wish I had some pics handy of the trailer park we were discussing.

 

[boiker]

Here's a rugged new article.

RUGGED!!! http://www.pjstar.com/news/topnews/b1uuvj3n041.html

Rugged residents fought for their rugged right to ride their rugged ATV's on their own rugged property.

 

[Rumpy Tunanator]

...People put chains on their bike tires for winter.....

 

[SGB]

.....most pickup truck owners carry chains and/or tow straps during the winter months for pulling non-locals out of snowbanks and ditches.

 

[mendelman]

Along the main road out of town, there are several large piles of feed carrots, sugar beets, etc. during hunting season.

 

[Plannerbabs]

-Manufactured and mobile homes are permitted by right in any district--including industrial--and can be found in any district.
-If it aint't deep-fried, it ain't healthy.
-The only foreign car is a 25-year old Toyota truck, mostly primer gray, with a gun rack.
-All the dogs and all the residents look alike, and the dogs outnumber the residents 2:1
-People think nothing of swimming, bathing, doing laundry etc in the same body of water they store their leaky pontoon boats in
-The local gas station also sells groceries, bait, ammo, alcohol, hunting permits, and small engine repair parts.

 

[SlaveToTheGrind]

The local gas station also sells groceries, bait, ammo, alcohol, hunting permits, and small engine repair parts.

The local grocery store has all of that plus camo clothing, livestock feed, livestock fencing, and has plenty of deer and elk heads on the wall.

Provides fishing bait from vending machines.

 

[JNA]

- -If it aint't deep-fried, it ain't healthy.

In my fair city a signature menu item is
a breaded, deep-fried Brain on a white bun. :-#

read:http://seattlepi.nwsource.com/national/apfeature_story.asp?category=1120&slug=Brain Sandwiches

 

[Rumpy Tunanator]

In my fair city a signature menu item is
a breaded, deep-fried Brain on a white bun. :-#QUOTE]

Are you refering to the Texas Chainsaw Massacre favorite known as "headcheese"?

 

[Plannerbabs]

The best line from that article is "They puff up when they cook." Blargh. :-#

 

[mendelman]

...and has plenty of deer and elk heads on the wall.

..And fresh vension jerky.

 

[Rumpy Tunanator]

Wow, I just saw a guy driving his moped outside B-) Rugged!!!

 

[Tranplanner]

Is this rugged, or just odd in a typically Canadian way?

 

[donk]

I'd vote odd in a Canadian way.

That is the kind of picture that gets guys fired.

I hope the girl gave the nags some sugar cubes.

Having just read the local paper, I'd like to add the following

Your town is rugged if.. a standard way to demolish buildings is to have the Fire Department burn them down for practice.

 

[JNA]

Your town is rugged if.. a standard way to demolish buildings is to have the Fire Department burn them down for practice.

When I was on a Fire Dept., I actually participated in doing that a couple of times
the other depts in the county were there also.

To be really Rugged you have to use port-a-ponds and tanker shuttle.

 

[donk]

To be really Rugged you have to use port-a-ponds and tanker shuttle.

How about having a designated hole in the ice for refilling? This is done and kept clear in my parent's "village". Standard equipment on the fire truck is a chainsaw and an ice auger.

 

[Cardinal]

When I was on a Fire Dept., I actually participated in doing that a couple of times
the other depts in the county were there also.

To be really Rugged you have to use port-a-ponds and tanker shuttle.

It happens around here a lot, except our "highly-qualified volunteer firefighters" often forge to have the building checked out for asbestos first. It keeps the DNR busy issuing citations for air quality violations.

Please note that I used quotes and did not use terms like "dumb-ass," "yokel" or "moron" to describe these hicks.

 

[BiteMeElmo]

Your town may be RUGGED if...

It is located in Northern Alberta, and it's business as usual in -35C (and lower) weather.

 

[SlaveToTheGrind]

You town has this store.

 

[boiker]

You town has this store.

Also, i can get a suit for my living room there. I thought they were suites?

Um yes, my living room needs a jacket, it's a 44L

 

[nerudite]

If your town is located on the Trans-Labrador highway (pictured below), it's damn RUGGED!

Snow removal operations:

Winter driving conditions: