- Messages
- 17,153
- Points
- 51
1) Every gas station sells diesel.
2) More than half of the businesses along Main Street have something to do with vehicles -- sales, repair, salvage, and so on.
3) There's an active anti-beautification campaign going on.
4) More residents have Nextel phones than landlines.
5) "WELCOME HUNTERS" banners are a regular sight.
6) Half of the business signs consist of auto parts or appliances mounted on poles.
7) Folks get excited over the possible opening of a United Rentals outlet.
8) The AV crew at Town Hall tests their microphones by instinctively saying "breaker one-nine for a radio check!"
9) The town motto is "LOCK AND LOAD"
10) The shoe store prides itself on having every item in stock available with steel toes.
11) At least 50% of area businesses have names that are prefixed by "Pro-", "Job-", "Dyna-," or Work-".
12) You don't need no permit to cut down no tree. That's fuel!
13) Architectural regulations REQUIRE pre-fabricated metal commercial structures.
14) At least 50% of the vehicles on the road are trucks.
15) At least 50% of those trucks are named, just as boats are, with the names displayed across the top fo the front windshield.
16) The town council passes a resolution outlawing the United Nations.
17) A town council meeting cannot end without having each member say, at least once during the meeting, the phrases "prop'ty rights" and "back in 'Nam."
18) The town has a law that allows a certain number of junked vehicles on a property.
19) There's at least one tractor trailer dealer in town.
20) It's quite allright to have a septic tank truck parked in your front yard, as part of your home occupation.
21) The male-female ratio makes Alaska look like Smith College in comparison.
22) Nobody complains about the guy who loudly idles his truck's diesel engine every day at 4:00 AM.
23) The town flag is made out of plaid flannel.
24) Nobody quite understands that the Red Green show is supposed to be a comedy.
25) Kids learn to drive on front end loaders.
26) A POW-MIA flag flies over town hall.
27) An American flag flies over town hall ... upside down.
28) A local fashion show includes black t-shirts with wolf illustrations.
29) There's more gun stores than grocery stores.
30) The town festival is called "Gunnery Sergeant Days."
31) Roadside cleanup is sponsored by the NRA ...
32) ... but nobody cares if they aren't really doing it.
33) Town council minutes are rated R, for language.
34) The busiest clothing store is a Carhartt Factory Outlet.
2) More than half of the businesses along Main Street have something to do with vehicles -- sales, repair, salvage, and so on.
3) There's an active anti-beautification campaign going on.
4) More residents have Nextel phones than landlines.
5) "WELCOME HUNTERS" banners are a regular sight.
6) Half of the business signs consist of auto parts or appliances mounted on poles.
7) Folks get excited over the possible opening of a United Rentals outlet.
8) The AV crew at Town Hall tests their microphones by instinctively saying "breaker one-nine for a radio check!"
9) The town motto is "LOCK AND LOAD"
10) The shoe store prides itself on having every item in stock available with steel toes.
11) At least 50% of area businesses have names that are prefixed by "Pro-", "Job-", "Dyna-," or Work-".
12) You don't need no permit to cut down no tree. That's fuel!
13) Architectural regulations REQUIRE pre-fabricated metal commercial structures.
14) At least 50% of the vehicles on the road are trucks.
15) At least 50% of those trucks are named, just as boats are, with the names displayed across the top fo the front windshield.
16) The town council passes a resolution outlawing the United Nations.
17) A town council meeting cannot end without having each member say, at least once during the meeting, the phrases "prop'ty rights" and "back in 'Nam."
18) The town has a law that allows a certain number of junked vehicles on a property.
19) There's at least one tractor trailer dealer in town.
20) It's quite allright to have a septic tank truck parked in your front yard, as part of your home occupation.
21) The male-female ratio makes Alaska look like Smith College in comparison.
22) Nobody complains about the guy who loudly idles his truck's diesel engine every day at 4:00 AM.
23) The town flag is made out of plaid flannel.
24) Nobody quite understands that the Red Green show is supposed to be a comedy.
25) Kids learn to drive on front end loaders.
26) A POW-MIA flag flies over town hall.
27) An American flag flies over town hall ... upside down.
28) A local fashion show includes black t-shirts with wolf illustrations.
29) There's more gun stores than grocery stores.
30) The town festival is called "Gunnery Sergeant Days."
31) Roadside cleanup is sponsored by the NRA ...
32) ... but nobody cares if they aren't really doing it.
33) Town council minutes are rated R, for language.
34) The busiest clothing store is a Carhartt Factory Outlet.
