You're late!!!

[Big Easy King]

I know that everyone has arrived late to work occasionally, some more than others. Late-for-work excuses range from those which are very legitimate to those that are somewhat absurd but are still convincing and have worked. I'm interested in the latter type excuses.

Thus, "You're late!!! What's your excuse!?!"


"I thought the office didn't open until 10:00 a.m. on Mondays."

 

[Repo Man]

Since I work for a City, I tried the "Well, I was *in* the City by 8:00."

Thing is, my boss and the guy under me are always late and I am usually here on time.

 

[SlaveToTheGrind]

My kids get up at the same time I should leave for work and I need to help my wife get them ready.

My place of work is great about this. They are very understanding and have never questioned me after being late. I just make up the time by taking a shorter lunch.

You could not ask for a better place to work than here. I will probably work here many years. Besides, I don't think anyone could match my salary, unless it was a director position.

 

[NHPlanner]

I would estimate that I'm "late" (never more than 20 minutes) once or twice per week. Usually mornings that it's a struggle to get my late sleeping 5-year old going for school, I'm late.

 

[donk]

I am usually early for work.

When I'm not they always joke that I must be hung over.

We used to have a person that we'd place bets on what time she'd arrive at.

 

[Tranplanner]

I am very rarely late for anything. We have a guy here like the one Donk desribed. Usually rolls in sometime between 9:30-10:00.

 

[Richmond Jake]

I'm never late, in fact, I'm usually 10 minutes early for work or meetings--hell, even for dentist's appointments when I know he'll be running late. I'm either punctual or anal.

 

[Seabishop]

Maybe if you got rid of that stupid "no sex in the office" rule, I would've been here on time!

Sorry, I was in bed this morning thinking of zoning ordinance minutia, and I just kept falling back asleep.


or my favorite excuse. . . What? You got an f'ing problem with me old man? I didn't think so!

 

[Big Easy King]

or my favorite excuse. . . What? You got an f'ing problem with me old man? I didn't think so!

Great! LOL

 

[Cardinal]

Management here has flex time, so I am never late. I could make comments about others, but my board wants me to fire somebody.

 

[Mastiff]

My rule is... between 8 and 8:30, or I call my secretary and let her know where I am.

I can basically come in when I want.

My best excuse was in college, "Erm, well boss... I woke up in some strange girls apartment and it took me awhile to get her coherent enough to give me directions to get back home." He laughed so hard he couldn't stay mad.

 

[SGB]

My set of excuses basically goes like this (listed in order of frequency used):
- bad morning getting the boy fed & dressed
- farm tractors in long stretches of poor sight distance no passing zone roads
- logging trucks on no passing zone hill climbs
- deer herds
- a flocks of turkeys

For some reason, if the deer are moving all over the roads, so too are the turkeys. (The feathered kind, that is.)

Fortunately, I'm never more the 20 minutes late. Most mornings, despite a 50 mile drive, I'm about 10 minutes early.

 

[SkeLeton]

The god damned bus driver felt it was necessary to stay waiting for passengers 5 minutes in a bus stop...

Or I'm not late, I'm just on time, your clock is wrong

 

[SW MI Planner]

I am always usually five minutes late every day. But, to my defense, I don't take breaks like everyone else does, and I usually am the last to leave.

 

[H]

I was yelled at by the “office manager” on a power trip for being 5 minutes late one day and I just walked straight into the head honchos office (small 5 person firm so this is not that big of a deal) and told him I didn’t think it was correct for me to get yelled out for being 5 minutes late in the morning when a regularly stay 30 minutes to an hour late ever night. He agreed and that was the end of that.

Not that I am late very much, but hey, sometimes it happens.

 

[Big Easy King]

I was yelled at by the “office manager” on a power trip for being 5 minutes late one day and I just walked straight into the head honchos office (small 5 person firm so this is not that big of a deal) and told him I didn’t think it was correct for me to get yelled out for being 5 minutes late in the morning when a regularly stay 30 minutes to an hour late ever night. He agreed and that was the end of that.

Right on, brotha! :b:

 

[nerudite]

I'm late to work by about two to three minutes most days. Since I stay late and work through lunches regularly, it's never been mentioned. But then, I've been here for almost two years without a performance review, so who knows what they are 'really thinking'. I've never used an excuse though, anyway.

 

[Michele Zone]

I'm never late, in fact, I'm usually 10 minutes early for work or meetings--hell, even for dentist's appointments when I know he'll be running late. I'm either punctual or anal.

Or you have spent time in the military or had a military father. In the military, 10 minutes early is called "on time".

The first week of GIS school last summer, I and some guy who had recently retired from the military were utterly disgusted that all our classes that week started about 20 or 30 minutes late while they waited for folks to show up, sign the roster, yadda yadda. Civilians!

 

[Richmond Jake]

Or you have spent time in the military or had a military father.

My dad was inducted and spent 3 years overseas. I've never been in the military -- my desire for the military evaporated when Uncle Sam returned my older brother home from southeast Asia in a box.

 

[Planderella]

I'm late by 5-8 mins just about every frickin day because of some frickin traffic incident - like this morning, a truck had a blown-out tire and had caught fire thus reducing 3 lanes of traffic down to one. The days that I do make it on time, the anal-retentive boss who lives 10 mins away and knows nothing about interstate traffic and the hell that his employees have to endure to get to this suburban cess-pool is not around to watch the clock.

 

[Big Easy King]

I'm late by 5-8 mins just about every frickin day because of some frickin traffic incident - like this morning, a truck had a blown-out tire and had caught fire thus reducing 3 lanes of traffic down to one. The days that I do make it on time, the anal-retentive boss who lives 10 mins away and knows nothing about interstate traffic and the hell that his employees have to endure to get to this suburban cess-pool is not around to watch the clock.

I heard about that truck fire on the radio this morning. Regarding Mr. Anal-Retentive's timing...that blows! Damn!

 

[otterpop]

Once my girlfriend and I were having a little "afternoon delight." While basking in the glow of afterwards I realized I was late for work.

When I got to work, I told my boss. "Sorry I am late. I was in the middle of someone." He laughed and told me to get to work.

 

[JNA]

Similar to Richmond Jake
My dad served in the Merchant Marine during WW 2/Korea,
he died well before they were ever recognized as veterans.

 

[Trail Nazi]

I am always late regardless of how early I rise. Thank god we have flex time. I have given up on trying to be early.

The only thing I was early for was the birth of my child, but I had no doing in that.

 

[BKM]

Some idiot in a hurry weaved her way down the freeway, crossing the center divide and hitting another dirver head-on. Multiple cars were subsequently involved. The freeway was closed, and it took me 2-1/2 hours to get to work (a 7-mile drive).


Quite a traegedy

 

[Michele Zone]

My dad was inducted and spent 3 years overseas. I've never been in the military -- my desire for the military evaporated when Uncle Sam returned my older brother home from southeast Asia in a box.

But it sounds like you got inculcated anyway.

There is no such thing as a "sick day" in the military. You show up, no matter how sick and then ask permission to go on sick call. If you are dying, they put you on Quarters. Quarters does not mean "day off". It means "house arrest". If you are too sick to work, you damn well better NOT be out at some movie. You had better be in your quarters -- that is the only place you have permission to be.

My husband once got a hysterical phone call from the young wife of a guy he recruited. He had missed formation too many times, so they moved him into the barracks to make sure he showed up on time. His wife was crying into the phone, saying "They are trying to destroy our marriage. They can't DO this!!! waaaaah!!!!"

(But it worked out for me: That incident was one of the things that Clued him as to what a wonderful army wife I am.)

The point is: If you have ever spent time in the military or been raised by a parent who spent time in the military, "On Time" means "15 minutes early" and if you show up at 8am on the dot, you clearly overslept or had a flat tire on the way to work. I did manage to get somewhat "deprogrammed" last summer. It can be done -- if circumstances are extreme enough.

 

[Zoning Goddess]

I was 1.5 hrs. late today because I had the insomnia thing and would have been dangerous behind the wheel of a car if I'd gotten up at the usual time. But I had a night meeting which made up the time.

I am pretty anal about being on time, so usually I do pretty well.

For 2 years I worked with a planner who was best buds with the Director. Her excuse for coming in at 11 a.m. every day: she was shopping!!!

 

[The Irish One]

Never less than 10 minutes early!

 

[tsc]

Rubbernecking delays.... or just traffic in general.

On the same note... what do you consider late??? I start at 7:30 am... and I consider anything over 5 minutes late... which only happens maybe a couple times a month. I am usually early because I get dropped off at work....by someone who needs to be to the other side of town by 7:30

 

[nerudite]

I have figured out that no matter what I do, I'm still late. Today I left extra early... probably about 35 minutes before work starts. It's only a 25 minute commute. So I should have been extra early. Nope! A big accident in the worst place possible and it takes me 15 minutes to make it through an intersection that there is no way around... and I'm still two minutes late to work. Dammit!

 

[michaelskis]

I hate to be late for anything. I tend to show up at least 10 min before I need to be there. Unless it is a date, then I will show up right at the time that I should be there.

 

[el Guapo]

I have been late less than ten times in my adult life. Most were motor vehicle mishaps. All were my fault.

I am ALWAYS early. I have a sliding scale of how early based upon how important the meeting is. I have been know to abandon a vehicle and walk in and still arrive on time.

If you are late and I am the boss you will find I have started the meeting or whatever with out you. I will not stop and review what you have missed.

I have fired two employees for habitual tardiness in my career. I consider it just plain rude.

MZ- WTF is the deal with civilains?

 

[SGB]

If you are late and I am the boss you will find I have started the meeting or whatever with out you. I will not stop and review what you have missed.

[ot]Now if only we could do that with volunteer board members who are habitually late! Inevitably, the meeting chair will ask staff to stop where they are, and start over for the benefit of the offending member(s).

I'm tellin' ya - if they would only give planners the dictatorial powers we want over certain matters, things would be running much more smoothly 'round here! [/ot]

 

[Cardinal]

I have fired two employees for habitual tardiness in my career.

I have never understood the difficulty of showing up on time, working your required hours, and not leaving early. Some of our support staff think it is too much to ask. Of course, "management" are being a$$holes about hours if we try to enforce this. Some employees here have the idea that because we may not be in the office all the time, they can come and go as they please. Um, maybe I'm not there because my job requires me to be somewhere else, or maybe I've already put in fifty hours by Friday afternoon? If they are scheduled to work 8-5, forty hours a week, they should do it or look for another job.

Grrrr.... Sorry for the rant but one of my employees got to the point where my board members saw the problem. It isn't going to be up to me whether that person gets fired or not.

 

[pandersen]

I am pretty punctual. It's a courtesy thing with me, I don't like it when others are late and I hold myself to that same standard.

I have a lot of night meetings where it can be a 3 1/2 hour round trip to the office plus meeting time. Regarless of this fact, I am always in the office first thing in the morning because all my other municipal clients expect me to be there to answer the phone first thing in the morning.

I think our department would prefer that I come inlate on mornings folowing evening meetings so I don't accumulate comensatory time.

 

[Michele Zone]

MZ- WTF is the deal with civilains? [/B]

You are asking the wrong person. I am hard-core military culture. My dad spent 26 1/2 years in and fought in both WWII AND Vietnam. He managed to miss out on fighting in Korea because, after he had his bags all packed, the night before he was to ship, he got a phone call. He was the only guy in the unit who had all the schools and stuff to qualify to teach ROTC and they needed to fill 2 slots.

My husband is career army. His dad retired from the army while he was in basic training. His dad's dad was career military. They can trace someone as being career military in every generation going back to the crusades.

If you figure it out, let me know. Okay?

 

[Seabishop]

Habitually late Ecuadorians trying to be punctual.

 

[Downtown]

I have been late less than ten times in my adult life.

I HATE being late for anything. It makes me panicky, and I am a generally unpanicky person. Thank god Rob is punctual. My sister and best friend are perpetually late and it makes me insane.

Our unofficial department policy allows for flex time, Rob and I come in early and leave a little early. The other planners usually get in a little late, and leave a little late. One planner has a lot of problems with insomnia, so he'll come in at 2am. Its a pretty sweet deal. Especially now that I'm uncomfortably pregnant. I still make it in early in the morning, but some days I don't make it back from lunch in time because I'll be sleeping too hard.

 

[Queen B]

Early in life I was always early, I like being the first one there.

The older I get the slower I am. I used to make it a point , never to make coffee at home because once I start a pot I don't want to leave it. But my husband has started making it and bringing it to me. Which is a small piece of heaven!

Best excuses....
One morning I saw something out in the yard. The next time I looked out, it moved. I went to find out what it was.
A wild Cat with it's head caught in a peanut butter jar. I think... got to make sure that when this thing comes loose it can get way from me. So I grab the jar, point the claws away, pick up the jar and give a good solid shake, thinking that it would just drop on out. Wrong! The cat looked at me like..."You stupid fool doesn't it look as if I am in enough trouble here without you trying to pull my fool head off!!!!!"
So I layed the cat and jar on the ground and worked it's fur out until the suction finally poped and the cat went a flyin'.

I laugh histerically all the way to work.

Another morning I found a baby squirrel in my yard and took it with me, kept it in my drawer for almost two weeks.

I try really hard to be on time but on the other hand, I don't get bent out of shape if I am a bit late. That is one of the reason's I don't work where I must punch a time clock.